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mean things I say to myself

@meantomyself.bsky.social

28K followers 5.1K following 5.2K posts

3rd wife material. Jokes in the skeets, politics in the streets. Serving mufflepuff in NC. Up good. $4 to Goog it for you. Make EM cry 2025 Skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaaoms63lvrkk

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · Nov 17

On a scale of 1 to 10 for hotness, I would rate myself a good listener

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 37m

Hard like when a control freak asks for help

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 5h

My autocorrect clowning me

FAVE

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 18h

Florida is wild. If you leave a room in your house empty for long enough, a Dollar General opens in there

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Cap’n Watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 13h

Sorry I missed Canadian thanksgiving again. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway, sorry.

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 13h

White people be like let me turn on Steely Dan

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 12h

Every morning "So what do you want out of today" just to feel okay sometimes, for having my eyes open "When do we want it? Now" no this isn't one of those "Great because now is only when you blink" it's a waking dream is it "Yep" okay cool

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 16h

Happy, happy birthday 🎈🎂 @sharky.bsky.social !

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 16h

Imagine if he loved Canada geese. I feel like we've discussed his face animal but I am not sure

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Hey, nobody *made* them vote for the host of Wrestlemania 4 @legalminimum.bsky.social · 1d

I seriously wonder whether Trump may not understand that what he got are vaccines. As in: he didn’t get a flu vaccine, he got a “flu shot”. We know he’s not very smart, so maybe this is how his medical staff are shooting that gap.

Alternative: maybe he has been told they’re “fine for adults”.

mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 2d

Weird how they say that vaccines are bad and the president is good but the president got two vaccines yesterday, I wonder how long it will take before he is forced to wear high heels or starts collecting model trains or whatever they think vaccines do besides save lives

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 22h

There once was a limerick at sonnetcon? Wow even poetry news is anarchy

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 22h

what if I got another cat WHAT THEN

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 21h

The neck, right?? Has to be

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Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 1d

A haunted house filled with strangers asking which tattoo hurt the most

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

People say mucking foron like it's not how you harvest some extremely rare element from a swamp

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 💀 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d

[walks into the tire shop]

I see tread people

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jordan pumpkin spice [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 23h

ever since being laid off I keep dreaming that my mom forgot to call in sick for me at school and there’s a class i’ve never attended and i’m just out solving mysteries hoping that teacher doesn’t care i’ve never shown up.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 22h

there's this video where this little kid is running down a hill, hits the side of a car, impact makes a huge sound, kid falls down, and yells, "i'm okay!"

so anyway, I'm okay. are you okay?

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 21h

I am at a kid birthday party and this kid has such a well-publicized affinity for Canada geese that every attendee so far has arrived with a handmade card with a drawing of one because, as I found out, it's hard to find a birthday card featuring them

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Governor JB Pritzker @govpritzker.illinois.gov · 2d

On National Coming Out Day, know that I will always be an ally to you — no matter where you are on your journey.

I know that times may be scary, but you are seen, safe, supported, and loved here in Illinois.

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Jon Cooper @joncooper-us.bsky.social · 1d

👇👇

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Dave Shumka @daveshumka.bsky.social · 1d

To celebrate the life of Diane Keaton I will be wearing pants for the next few months.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 1d

Hazy shade of genius

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

Your chances of being Bret Easton Ellis are low but never less than zero

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Old White Nepo Hat @kenwhite.bsky.social · 1d

Trader Joe's Exec1: we'll sell lots of really good stuff at good prices

Exec2: that doesn't sound at all evil. We're a big company, we're supposed to be evil

Founder1: we are going to have the most inadequate, cramped, badly designed parking lots in the fucking world

Founder2: ok that works

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Tom Reagan’s Hat @rufustsuperfly.bsky.social · 1d

RIP Diane Keaton
My favourite picture of her where everyone else is giving it their best Blue Steel & she looks like she’s just wandered in off the street looking super cool.
She was allowed to wear her own clothes & her wonderful personality shines out.
What a unique talent & human being.

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