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Gian D’Oh

@giandoh.bsky.social

2.9K followers 810 following 2.3K posts

Chronic masticator. My Inanities: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3k6pticv2dusa7t3xjwmd56n/feed/aaafkkulmi2pq My “Music”: https://youtube.com/@giandoh1427?si=0DNr9IffmIn4tqT5

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · Jan 25

This is the dumbest apocalypse.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 8h

My bank's website is one letter off from a gross German porn site and it's annoying because I keep accidentally visiting my bank's website.

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 5h

This DMV sushi isn’t half bad! (It’s 7/8ths bad🤮)

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 7d

If you're performing standup for ghosts and the audience starts shouting, "Boo! Boooo!" don't panic. You're killing.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 2d

I just say, "Hot dog." The "diggity" is implied.

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 10h

Third Eye Astigmatic

Reposted by Gian D’Oh

Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 13d

“breast milk” implies that we can milk other body parts

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 8d

Fact: “Come Together” by The Beatles was about having a threesome

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 4d

how do you get over the heartache of an ex whose cat you’ll never see again?

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 20h

“Ah Monday,” I purr, down on my hands and knees collecting liquified dog shit on the living room floor, “to thine own self be true.”

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 21h

GTF out with your out-of-office reply that says “I will have no access to email.” You’re going to fucking New Jersey dude, not an Antarctic safari. Just say you’re checked out and spare us the bullshit.

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 1d

Who called it a mirror and not self-checkout?

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 1d

So Jan 6 was an entirely peaceful event but Biden FBI infiltrators sparked widespread violence so it was not a peaceful event except when Ashli Babbitt was killed by federal police for being… peaceful? See it’s all law enforcement’s fault, now go back the blue!

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 2d

The dough rises in the yeast.

-my kid actually said that at 5yrs old. Not too shabby!

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Adam @adamurb.bsky.social · 2d

Me: Are you ready for my cavity search?

Dentist: please stop calling it that

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Frank Conniff @frankconniff.bsky.social · 4d

Antifa, like Steely Dan, is not really a group.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 3d

His beard was like a temper tantrum. Her breath was better than her playlist. They made love in the Kohl’s parking lot.

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Django Wexler @djangowexler.bsky.social · 3d

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 3d

Got kicked out of my work’s holiday party planning committee for suggesting the theme be “man’s inhumanity to man”

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Hi, it's Abby. Yep. @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · Apr 4

Someone who does a good Putin impersonation, call up the White House and tell him to stop with all the tariffs

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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · May 30

[Sex Shop]

Me: *holding 37 dildos*

Shopkeeper: may I help you?

Me: where are the fitting rooms?

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Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 3d

They should give Trump the piece prize…

… because he’s a real piece of fucking work.

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 3d

The mass of men lead lives of loud desperation.

-Thoreau, on social media

Gian D’Oh @giandoh.bsky.social · 3d

What do you mean those weren’t edible underpants?!

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 4d

Man I can’t process any of this bullshit and now you want me to wear pants?

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