cigarette la croix
January 30, 2026 at 3:03 AM
cigarette la croix
call my girl smoked eggplant the way she baba my ghanoush
January 28, 2026 at 11:23 PM
call my girl smoked eggplant the way she baba my ghanoush
the best chef in the world versus chicken nuggets
January 28, 2026 at 8:32 PM
the best chef in the world versus chicken nuggets
cutting a piece of cake with a knife to see if it’s cake
January 28, 2026 at 7:01 PM
cutting a piece of cake with a knife to see if it’s cake
i love when there’s a tough mobster character in a movie and a little sniveling guy saying, “yeeaah!” after he says stuff
January 28, 2026 at 3:37 AM
i love when there’s a tough mobster character in a movie and a little sniveling guy saying, “yeeaah!” after he says stuff
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
Arresting a cop and he’s all like whaaaaaaat
July 12, 2025 at 6:17 PM
Arresting a cop and he’s all like whaaaaaaat
there’s always a person who comes rushing into a public bathroom while i’m in the stall. they bang on the paper towel dispenser and then leave.
May 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
there’s always a person who comes rushing into a public bathroom while i’m in the stall. they bang on the paper towel dispenser and then leave.
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
baked bean la croix
May 10, 2025 at 11:30 PM
baked bean la croix
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
You don’t need to wash your water bottle. It’s already been washed by the water you drank out of it
April 11, 2025 at 3:17 PM
You don’t need to wash your water bottle. It’s already been washed by the water you drank out of it
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
a blowgun but instead of darts it uses corn dogs
April 6, 2025 at 10:21 PM
a blowgun but instead of darts it uses corn dogs
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
*maniacally hangs another wind chime*
April 7, 2025 at 10:31 AM
*maniacally hangs another wind chime*
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
at least Rush Limbaugh is still dead
March 30, 2025 at 1:10 PM
at least Rush Limbaugh is still dead
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
Be advised it's egregious out
March 26, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Be advised it's egregious out
i’m in a sword duel. i get slashed across my body. i do not bleed. my torso slides off at an angle revealing that i was cake all along …
March 15, 2025 at 4:48 AM
i’m in a sword duel. i get slashed across my body. i do not bleed. my torso slides off at an angle revealing that i was cake all along …
eating peanuts and tossing the shells over my shoulder. feeling like the ultimate boss on this bus right now.
March 15, 2025 at 4:22 AM
eating peanuts and tossing the shells over my shoulder. feeling like the ultimate boss on this bus right now.
eating a banana like corn on the cob
March 15, 2025 at 4:15 AM
eating a banana like corn on the cob
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
He died doing what he loved, waking me up from a nap.
January 17, 2025 at 8:52 PM
He died doing what he loved, waking me up from a nap.
[walking around]
March 13, 2025 at 3:12 AM
[walking around]
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
When France proposed raising the legal smoking age to 9
March 2, 2025 at 1:27 AM
When France proposed raising the legal smoking age to 9
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
My kids won’t listen to "WHITESNAKE" WITH ME...
SO HERE I GO AGAIN
ON MY OWN!
SO HERE I GO AGAIN
ON MY OWN!
March 3, 2025 at 1:10 AM
My kids won’t listen to "WHITESNAKE" WITH ME...
SO HERE I GO AGAIN
ON MY OWN!
SO HERE I GO AGAIN
ON MY OWN!
Reposted by Skrimshaw Pie Crimper
Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.
February 17, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.
pausing to do karate at myself in the mirror
February 6, 2025 at 4:16 AM
pausing to do karate at myself in the mirror
me: haha, more like King Wrong!
King Kong losing at Trivial Pursuit: [destroys entire neighborhood]
King Kong losing at Trivial Pursuit: [destroys entire neighborhood]
February 6, 2025 at 3:56 AM
me: haha, more like King Wrong!
King Kong losing at Trivial Pursuit: [destroys entire neighborhood]
King Kong losing at Trivial Pursuit: [destroys entire neighborhood]
[looking at a normal clock] should have a bird pop outa that thing every hour
February 6, 2025 at 3:54 AM
[looking at a normal clock] should have a bird pop outa that thing every hour