tiphaggard
@tiphaggard.bsky.social
an if you could stop me you would have already,
so shakespearean
so shakespearean
see also: Desolation Row
I respect the 12 Days of Christmas because I respect any song that tells its audience “didn’t like it the first time? Here’s 11 more and they’re worse”
December 5, 2025 at 1:19 AM
see also: Desolation Row
hang it in the guggenheim, quick, while there’s still guggentime
You just a nazi gestapo collaborator, and if i dont presume you guilty for presuming him guilty then the gestapo 𝙵𝙱𝙸 who you lie for will presume me guilty. I d𝘪𝘥𝔫𝘵 m𝕒𝘬ᴇ tʜᴇ r𝓊𝔩𝑒ˢ, T𝘩ᴇʸ w𝔢ʳᵉ m𝘢𝘥ᴇ tᵒ g𝕖𝘵 hɪ𝘭lᵃ𝘳y.
December 3, 2025 at 3:26 AM
hang it in the guggenheim, quick, while there’s still guggentime
Reposted by tiphaggard
we are witnessing the birth of a new type of guy. scientists are calling him “the sincere dril”
None of you are as smart as bill clinton. He was more liberal than each and every one of you trump chuds
December 3, 2025 at 1:33 AM
we are witnessing the birth of a new type of guy. scientists are calling him “the sincere dril”
we are witnessing the birth of a new type of guy. scientists are calling him “the sincere dril”
None of you are as smart as bill clinton. He was more liberal than each and every one of you trump chuds
December 3, 2025 at 1:33 AM
we are witnessing the birth of a new type of guy. scientists are calling him “the sincere dril”
Reposted by tiphaggard
I have something to tell you about the united states military. you might want to sit down for this one
The worst part about the boat strikes - regardless of who ordered what and besides the ultimate tragedy of lives lost - is they’re forever a stain on the professionalism and dignity of the United States military.
They’re an insult to every American who ever sacrificed to do the right thing.
They’re an insult to every American who ever sacrificed to do the right thing.
December 2, 2025 at 9:07 PM
I have something to tell you about the united states military. you might want to sit down for this one
Reposted by tiphaggard
all wifed up and everywhere to go
November 25, 2025 at 2:39 AM
all wifed up and everywhere to go
Reposted by tiphaggard
narcissus freezes mid-step. his miniature american flag falls to the cold concrete. after a long moment he storms off, cursing in ancient greek
My brother was very excited to see the reflecting pool after being disappointed by some of the other DC structures
November 30, 2025 at 6:41 PM
narcissus freezes mid-step. his miniature american flag falls to the cold concrete. after a long moment he storms off, cursing in ancient greek
took this same dosage earlier today. self-medicating rules
Imagine hating me and I’m over here getting a refill on prescription deviled eggs
December 1, 2025 at 12:27 AM
took this same dosage earlier today. self-medicating rules
narcissus freezes mid-step. his miniature american flag falls to the cold concrete. after a long moment he storms off, cursing in ancient greek
My brother was very excited to see the reflecting pool after being disappointed by some of the other DC structures
November 30, 2025 at 6:41 PM
narcissus freezes mid-step. his miniature american flag falls to the cold concrete. after a long moment he storms off, cursing in ancient greek
Reposted by tiphaggard
A story Stoppard told several times, in several places:
November 29, 2025 at 6:10 PM
A story Stoppard told several times, in several places:
rip, he’s with the boys now
I kid, but: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead is by far the best execution I can think of of literary cleverness that yes-ands a great existing work
November 29, 2025 at 5:41 PM
rip, he’s with the boys now
Reposted by tiphaggard
this is the type of gadget a man would use to murder his wife in an episode of Columbo set in 2025
November 28, 2025 at 9:58 PM
this is the type of gadget a man would use to murder his wife in an episode of Columbo set in 2025
Reposted by tiphaggard
my family cheers and cries as I produce a CamelBak full of piping hot sawmill gravy
November 24, 2024 at 3:43 PM
my family cheers and cries as I produce a CamelBak full of piping hot sawmill gravy
just absolute dogshit. hey man what if hamlet had a computer and we abandoned the whole premise after the laziest first line imaginable
November 28, 2025 at 6:26 PM
just absolute dogshit. hey man what if hamlet had a computer and we abandoned the whole premise after the laziest first line imaginable
Reposted by tiphaggard
what if it rained gravy tomorrow. all across the land. a thanksgiving miracle
November 27, 2024 at 11:52 PM
what if it rained gravy tomorrow. all across the land. a thanksgiving miracle
Reposted by tiphaggard
it’s not the mashed potatoes. it’s not the stuffing. it’s never the turkey. not even the ham. it’s all about the GRAVY. the gravy, you utter fools,
November 27, 2024 at 11:25 PM
it’s not the mashed potatoes. it’s not the stuffing. it’s never the turkey. not even the ham. it’s all about the GRAVY. the gravy, you utter fools,
Reposted by tiphaggard
Yeah I’ll pardon a turkey
Par it’s gravy don my throat
Par it’s gravy don my throat
November 27, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Yeah I’ll pardon a turkey
Par it’s gravy don my throat
Par it’s gravy don my throat
all wifed up and everywhere to go
November 25, 2025 at 2:39 AM
all wifed up and everywhere to go
pipin’ hot thanksgiving take: anything rolls can do stuffing can do better
November 24, 2025 at 7:52 AM
pipin’ hot thanksgiving take: anything rolls can do stuffing can do better
Reposted by tiphaggard
five gherkin riiings
Not a want, but a need
November 18, 2025 at 3:47 AM
five gherkin riiings
get you a man who looks at you like ricky jay looks at his 52 assistants
November 18, 2025 at 1:25 AM
get you a man who looks at you like ricky jay looks at his 52 assistants
Reposted by tiphaggard
How delightfully quaint some of these old Devon village names are, their etymologies lost in the mists of time.
November 17, 2025 at 3:24 PM
How delightfully quaint some of these old Devon village names are, their etymologies lost in the mists of time.
hey can someone tell me what is happening
November 17, 2025 at 4:08 AM
hey can someone tell me what is happening