Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
@timothybraun.bsky.social
Writer for @nytimes @huffingtonpost @AmericanTheatre @AustinChronicle @Austin_Monthly @TexasStandard and some sad plays and operas. RT not a endorsement.
Pinned
MAGA Who Only Look at My Bio: NY Times is lies & fake news!
Me: I write about my dog.
MAGA Who Only Look at My Bio: LIES!
Me: DOG!
Me: I write about my dog.
MAGA Who Only Look at My Bio: LIES!
Me: DOG!
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
The feminine urge to hit people with a frying pan
January 26, 2026 at 6:10 PM
The feminine urge to hit people with a frying pan
Cloistered in this ice storm has driven me mad as I have come to the conclusion there is no greater lover Buddy Hackett!
January 26, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Cloistered in this ice storm has driven me mad as I have come to the conclusion there is no greater lover Buddy Hackett!
The Seahawks have one job, and that is to defeat raw evil.
January 26, 2026 at 2:55 AM
The Seahawks have one job, and that is to defeat raw evil.
The cat named after the Antichrist is in the way of the game I wish to watch.
January 26, 2026 at 12:06 AM
The cat named after the Antichrist is in the way of the game I wish to watch.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
Remember the other day when I was saluting my friend Greg Ketter, owner of Minneapolis’ DreamHaven Books? This is him the following day. Greg will never say this, so I will — now is a great time to buy books from DreamHaven. Support Americans who stand up vs. 🧊. dreamhavenbooks.com
January 25, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Remember the other day when I was saluting my friend Greg Ketter, owner of Minneapolis’ DreamHaven Books? This is him the following day. Greg will never say this, so I will — now is a great time to buy books from DreamHaven. Support Americans who stand up vs. 🧊. dreamhavenbooks.com
I'm adding "...and I'm lying because my father never loved me" to the end of everything Kristi Noem says. So, "...the armed suspect reacted violently..." is now "The armed suspect reacted violently, and I'm lying because my father never loved me."
January 25, 2026 at 7:14 PM
I'm adding "...and I'm lying because my father never loved me" to the end of everything Kristi Noem says. So, "...the armed suspect reacted violently..." is now "The armed suspect reacted violently, and I'm lying because my father never loved me."
Annoying my neighbors by not wearing pants in this weather. Actually, just annoying my neighbors by not wearing pants ever. Don’t tread on my cargo shorts! 🐍
January 25, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Annoying my neighbors by not wearing pants in this weather. Actually, just annoying my neighbors by not wearing pants ever. Don’t tread on my cargo shorts! 🐍
I am making my football sandwich now so it has time to think about what it needs to do come game time tonight.
January 25, 2026 at 4:50 PM
I am making my football sandwich now so it has time to think about what it needs to do come game time tonight.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
A reminder to the news media: “conflicting accounts” is what you say BEFORE the incontrovertible video evidence appears. After that, your job is to ask why one side is lying, not to repeat the lie and pretend no one knows the truth.
January 25, 2026 at 12:28 PM
A reminder to the news media: “conflicting accounts” is what you say BEFORE the incontrovertible video evidence appears. After that, your job is to ask why one side is lying, not to repeat the lie and pretend no one knows the truth.
An inch of freezing rain and a dusting of snow has turned Austin into a Toboggan slide, and flummoxed the dog named after hot meat. It’s time to hunker down, but there is no emoji for hunkering, so it is time for 🍕 🏈 and a Gilmore Girl marathon 🤷♀️
January 25, 2026 at 2:18 PM
An inch of freezing rain and a dusting of snow has turned Austin into a Toboggan slide, and flummoxed the dog named after hot meat. It’s time to hunker down, but there is no emoji for hunkering, so it is time for 🍕 🏈 and a Gilmore Girl marathon 🤷♀️
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
Mike McCarthy is such a downgrade from Tomlin.
January 24, 2026 at 8:04 PM
Mike McCarthy is such a downgrade from Tomlin.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
I recommend Minnesota Public Radio live. I’m learning a lot I’m not getting elsewhere.
January 24, 2026 at 10:05 PM
I recommend Minnesota Public Radio live. I’m learning a lot I’m not getting elsewhere.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
Yes Folks, they are that stupid. It’s embarrassing.
January 24, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Yes Folks, they are that stupid. It’s embarrassing.
With this winter storm, I've learned there is no emoji for hunkering down. Can we just have an emoji that communicates I'm binge-watching The Gilmore Girls again while snuggling with my dog?
January 24, 2026 at 3:26 PM
With this winter storm, I've learned there is no emoji for hunkering down. Can we just have an emoji that communicates I'm binge-watching The Gilmore Girls again while snuggling with my dog?
I understand everyone is hot for "HetaedRivalery", but I'm still waiting for the sequel to "Crazy Rich Asians." If I have to, I will write and produce myself, but you people can't handle that broken romance, can you?
January 23, 2026 at 7:57 PM
I understand everyone is hot for "HetaedRivalery", but I'm still waiting for the sequel to "Crazy Rich Asians." If I have to, I will write and produce myself, but you people can't handle that broken romance, can you?
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
Doctor: The good news is, this is a surprise birthday party!
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
January 22, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Doctor: The good news is, this is a surprise birthday party!
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
Patient: But my birthday's not till next month
Doctor: Which brings me to the bad news
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
The cognitive dissonance of constantly reading that I need to spend some time mastering generative AI while not knowing a single person in my industry who uses it to do good work 🤙
January 21, 2026 at 3:26 PM
The cognitive dissonance of constantly reading that I need to spend some time mastering generative AI while not knowing a single person in my industry who uses it to do good work 🤙
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
If ghosts aren’t real then why did I just pay a guy dressed in a Ghostbuster outfit $10k to get rid of some? Checkmate atheists.
January 21, 2026 at 1:54 AM
If ghosts aren’t real then why did I just pay a guy dressed in a Ghostbuster outfit $10k to get rid of some? Checkmate atheists.
January 21, 2026 at 1:55 AM
If ESPN had any imagination, they would have had Joe Buck call that game last night. The blocked punt would have made the IU graduate explode like a microwaved burrito. That would be quality television.
January 20, 2026 at 4:21 PM
If ESPN had any imagination, they would have had Joe Buck call that game last night. The blocked punt would have made the IU graduate explode like a microwaved burrito. That would be quality television.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
My longtime shrink is retiring, and I'm on the market for a new mellon twister, preferably someone who knows kung fu, has lost a kidney to a shark attack, and thinks mindfulness is for twits. A plus if they have a Star Wars rebel tattoo on their neck. None of this is a joke.
January 16, 2026 at 5:38 PM
My longtime shrink is retiring, and I'm on the market for a new mellon twister, preferably someone who knows kung fu, has lost a kidney to a shark attack, and thinks mindfulness is for twits. A plus if they have a Star Wars rebel tattoo on their neck. None of this is a joke.
I’m developing a conspiracy theory that studio executives are using “Heated Rivalry” to sell more hockey tickets to the LGBTQ+ community. If so, it is a genius plan.
January 16, 2026 at 2:55 PM
I’m developing a conspiracy theory that studio executives are using “Heated Rivalry” to sell more hockey tickets to the LGBTQ+ community. If so, it is a genius plan.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
Seeing Zohran instantly getting a bunch of shit done in like a week makes you realize that politicians could always do that on some level if they wanted it bad enough and very few of them actually do.
January 15, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Seeing Zohran instantly getting a bunch of shit done in like a week makes you realize that politicians could always do that on some level if they wanted it bad enough and very few of them actually do.
Reposted by Timothy Braun (a.k.a. The Braunologue)
Instead of ending the constitution and murdering people, we could have high speed trains and universal health care.
January 14, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Instead of ending the constitution and murdering people, we could have high speed trains and universal health care.