Tiernan Douieb
@tiernandouieb.bsky.social
Writer. Comedian. Tired. Rep’d for writing things by @kitsonpresskids.bsky.social and for v/o things by Foxy Tongue Voices
People have alleged that I’ve called Nigel Farage a slimy piece of shit who looks like a half melted wax work of an Addams Family group picture, but I didn’t say it in a hurtful way. No, actually I did.
November 24, 2025 at 9:43 PM
People have alleged that I’ve called Nigel Farage a slimy piece of shit who looks like a half melted wax work of an Addams Family group picture, but I didn’t say it in a hurtful way. No, actually I did.
It’s shocking but somehow the price they’re asking is still worse.
They really don't want to share any interior shots but when they do, you just know that unspeakable acts have been committed within... www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...
Check out this 3 bedroom end of terrace house for sale on Rightmove
3 bedroom end of terrace house for sale in 75 Camden Mews, Camden, London, NW1 9BY, NW1 for £925,000. Marketed by Auction House London, Hampstead
www.rightmove.co.uk
November 24, 2025 at 3:11 PM
It’s shocking but somehow the price they’re asking is still worse.
‘Grok do a vulgar roast of this guy’
Grok: ‘He looks like the kind of deeply sad, deeply lonely creep that would use Grok to facilitate his gaping lack of humour or basic human qualities.’
Grok: ‘He looks like the kind of deeply sad, deeply lonely creep that would use Grok to facilitate his gaping lack of humour or basic human qualities.’
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 2:43 PM
‘Grok do a vulgar roast of this guy’
Grok: ‘He looks like the kind of deeply sad, deeply lonely creep that would use Grok to facilitate his gaping lack of humour or basic human qualities.’
Grok: ‘He looks like the kind of deeply sad, deeply lonely creep that would use Grok to facilitate his gaping lack of humour or basic human qualities.’
‘Unhelpful man goes offshore to join his money.’
Steel billionaire latest to leave UK ahead of proposed tax squeeze on the ultra-rich
Steel billionaire latest to leave UK ahead of proposed tax squeeze on the ultra-rich
Steel billionaire latest to leave UK ahead of proposed tax squeeze on the ultra-rich
www.independent.co.uk
November 24, 2025 at 9:31 AM
‘Unhelpful man goes offshore to join his money.’
Reposted by Tiernan Douieb
Almost a year now since I received this absolutely classic burn from the Canadian government.
November 21, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Almost a year now since I received this absolutely classic burn from the Canadian government.
This week's drivel - sorry, blog - from my head: open.substack.com/pub/tiernand...
Mulleting It Over
No. Just no.
open.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 10:24 AM
This week's drivel - sorry, blog - from my head: open.substack.com/pub/tiernand...
I wonder if Boris Johnson is remotely bothered that he’s responsible for 20,000 people dying or if he thinks it just balances out with how many kids he has.
November 20, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I wonder if Boris Johnson is remotely bothered that he’s responsible for 20,000 people dying or if he thinks it just balances out with how many kids he has.
Me, reading about the Covid Enquiry statement: ‘Yeah you know, that’s what I said all along.’
*stands around waiting for someone to announce a statue of me or a parade or something. Gets really cold. Goes back inside*
*stands around waiting for someone to announce a statue of me or a parade or something. Gets really cold. Goes back inside*
November 20, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Me, reading about the Covid Enquiry statement: ‘Yeah you know, that’s what I said all along.’
*stands around waiting for someone to announce a statue of me or a parade or something. Gets really cold. Goes back inside*
*stands around waiting for someone to announce a statue of me or a parade or something. Gets really cold. Goes back inside*
Reposted by Tiernan Douieb
Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/
November 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/
The End @nationaltheatre.org.uk is exceptional and I may have blubbed a few times.* Clive Owen & Saskia Reeves are just incredible.
*Absolutely loads.
*Absolutely loads.
November 19, 2025 at 9:34 PM
The End @nationaltheatre.org.uk is exceptional and I may have blubbed a few times.* Clive Owen & Saskia Reeves are just incredible.
*Absolutely loads.
*Absolutely loads.
On this week’s @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast: Expert at pushing things over @jonnyawsum.bsky.social joins me to help answer a question about apples and doctors.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3559e9
Available all places podcasts are.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3559e9
Available all places podcasts are.
November 19, 2025 at 7:42 AM
On this week’s @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast: Expert at pushing things over @jonnyawsum.bsky.social joins me to help answer a question about apples and doctors.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3559e9
Available all places podcasts are.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3559e9
Available all places podcasts are.
Reposted by Tiernan Douieb
In an A Level class yesterday at my kid’s college, the teacher used a Gen AI image in a PowerPoint, and the whole class booed.
Yeah. You’ve got Gen Z on board, guys. Looking rosy.
Yeah. You’ve got Gen Z on board, guys. Looking rosy.
November 18, 2025 at 10:34 AM
In an A Level class yesterday at my kid’s college, the teacher used a Gen AI image in a PowerPoint, and the whole class booed.
Yeah. You’ve got Gen Z on board, guys. Looking rosy.
Yeah. You’ve got Gen Z on board, guys. Looking rosy.
Reposted by Tiernan Douieb
Seems like a good time (again) to share the guide I developed with @freedomfromtorture.bsky.social, which tells you how to talk about refugees and asylum in a way that actually convinces the undecided - based on testing 🧵 www.freedomfromtorture.org/changing-the...
Changing the Conversation on Asylum: A Messaging Guide
Our new messaging guide looks at the methodology and messages that can help us carve out a new approach that will be successful in persuading the public that seeking safety is a fundamental human righ...
www.freedomfromtorture.org
November 17, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Seems like a good time (again) to share the guide I developed with @freedomfromtorture.bsky.social, which tells you how to talk about refugees and asylum in a way that actually convinces the undecided - based on testing 🧵 www.freedomfromtorture.org/changing-the...
Reposted by Tiernan Douieb
Big very scary announcement that I never thought I'd have to make so I put nice music and a relaxing nostalgic background on it for you.
November 17, 2025 at 12:44 PM
Big very scary announcement that I never thought I'd have to make so I put nice music and a relaxing nostalgic background on it for you.
Labour are like the world's laziest colonialists. 'No, you come here and THEN we'll take all your gold and jewellery.'
November 17, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Labour are like the world's laziest colonialists. 'No, you come here and THEN we'll take all your gold and jewellery.'
If, as Shabana Mahmood says 'illegal migration is tearing the UK apart' then we'll need a lot of structural engineering work to fix it. Bridges, whatever you do with sinkholes etc etc. Probably need a lot of workers for that. Not sure we have enough in the UK. Tricky one. Hm.
November 16, 2025 at 1:38 PM
If, as Shabana Mahmood says 'illegal migration is tearing the UK apart' then we'll need a lot of structural engineering work to fix it. Bridges, whatever you do with sinkholes etc etc. Probably need a lot of workers for that. Not sure we have enough in the UK. Tricky one. Hm.
It’s too hard to run in clown shoes?
Why Isn’t Pennywise in The Running Man? It's more complicated than you might think... bit.ly/4a04Vvk
November 15, 2025 at 6:55 PM
It’s too hard to run in clown shoes?
Blog things: open.substack.com/pub/tiernand...
November 14, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Blog things: open.substack.com/pub/tiernand...
Uh oh. Pretty sure Trump is going to sue Jeffrey Epstein for $1bn over this and then he’ll have to resign from being dead.
Breaking News: House Democrats released emails in which Jeffrey Epstein alleged that Donald Trump knew of the convicted sex offender's conduct and “spent hours at my house” with a victim.
Epstein Alleged in Emails That Trump Knew of His Conduct
In a message obtained by Congress, the convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein wrote that Donald J. Trump spent hours at his house with one of Mr. Epstein’s victims.
nyti.ms
November 12, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Uh oh. Pretty sure Trump is going to sue Jeffrey Epstein for $1bn over this and then he’ll have to resign from being dead.
On this week’s @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast chair expert @lauralexx.bsky.social talks to me about pasta armour and grub gubs.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3512ee
Available in all places podcasts live: Apple Podcasts, spotify, amazon music and more.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3512ee
Available in all places podcasts live: Apple Podcasts, spotify, amazon music and more.
November 12, 2025 at 8:17 AM
On this week’s @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast chair expert @lauralexx.bsky.social talks to me about pasta armour and grub gubs.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3512ee
Available in all places podcasts live: Apple Podcasts, spotify, amazon music and more.
Get your kids to listen at: pod.fo/e/3512ee
Available in all places podcasts live: Apple Podcasts, spotify, amazon music and more.
The BBC should tell Trump their apology is at the end of a replay of Ghost Watch that he has to watch all the way through first.
November 11, 2025 at 9:04 AM
The BBC should tell Trump their apology is at the end of a replay of Ghost Watch that he has to watch all the way through first.
If you have mini people aged 4-7, there is a lovely new show out today on C5/Milkshake from today called Stan and Gran. It's full of gags and nature facts. Also I wrote some of it, and it's all expertly head written by @howardread.bsky.social. My first ep is out next Monday (its all about worms 🪱🪱🪱)
November 10, 2025 at 9:41 AM
If you have mini people aged 4-7, there is a lovely new show out today on C5/Milkshake from today called Stan and Gran. It's full of gags and nature facts. Also I wrote some of it, and it's all expertly head written by @howardread.bsky.social. My first ep is out next Monday (its all about worms 🪱🪱🪱)
Blog thingy: tiernandouieb.substack.com/p/unsocial-h...
November 8, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Blog thingy: tiernandouieb.substack.com/p/unsocial-h...
I wish I could be there when Elon Musk becomes a trillionaire and goes to call his friends to tell them and realises he doesn’t have any and has to pay a security guy to pretend to be excited for him instead.
November 7, 2025 at 6:48 PM
I wish I could be there when Elon Musk becomes a trillionaire and goes to call his friends to tell them and realises he doesn’t have any and has to pay a security guy to pretend to be excited for him instead.
Reposted by Tiernan Douieb
