that one guy.
@that-one-guy.bsky.social
you know the one.
(pfp from "smbc-comics.com/comic/2014-06-06").
(pfp from "smbc-comics.com/comic/2014-06-06").
Reposted by that one guy.
i think if you can make like, rocket boots that don't go instantly outta control and kill you, or Go Go Gadget arms that work right and don't weigh 500lbs, or a way to be on fire that actually helps you somehow, you should be allowed to use them in professional sports. it would spur innovation
February 7, 2026 at 1:49 AM
i think if you can make like, rocket boots that don't go instantly outta control and kill you, or Go Go Gadget arms that work right and don't weigh 500lbs, or a way to be on fire that actually helps you somehow, you should be allowed to use them in professional sports. it would spur innovation
Reposted by that one guy.
The dirty secret of curling that no one involved in the sport will admit is that the broom doesn’t do anything
February 7, 2026 at 11:58 AM
The dirty secret of curling that no one involved in the sport will admit is that the broom doesn’t do anything
Reposted by that one guy.
bro's missing out on candle
Le chant des sirènes / The siren's song
https://botfrens.com/collections/61/contents/3114522
https://botfrens.com/collections/61/contents/3114522
January 24, 2026 at 5:24 PM
bro's missing out on candle
Reposted by that one guy.
Reminding me of one of my favorite twt rants
November 12, 2024 at 5:04 AM
Reminding me of one of my favorite twt rants
Reposted by that one guy.
if i'm locked in a dungeon i'd pretend the chained up skeleton is always roasting the guards. HAha careful dude, Paul is RIGHT there! then i don't have to come up with material but i'm still preying on their insecurities. if they remove the skeleton i know i've won. i made you believe. THAT'S power
January 11, 2026 at 7:01 AM
if i'm locked in a dungeon i'd pretend the chained up skeleton is always roasting the guards. HAha careful dude, Paul is RIGHT there! then i don't have to come up with material but i'm still preying on their insecurities. if they remove the skeleton i know i've won. i made you believe. THAT'S power
Reposted by that one guy.
every day is a new humiliation for the idea that Crime Doesn't Pay
January 7, 2026 at 2:39 AM
every day is a new humiliation for the idea that Crime Doesn't Pay
Reposted by that one guy.
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
![mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it]
mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it]
DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently]
mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage]
DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreicpeii4u2iirkgscaerpb5tltbs4ohykg2obbvchzo56pjzo4juie@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf]
DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch]
mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car]
DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue]
mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over]
DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreid5fec634tvopl2nybom2l7yrys7hrqbgrpq5gneukqiwt3zm44qu@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine]
DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11]
mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it]
DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint]
mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door]
DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape]
mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreihgywpjsvklyn2mdkfnvn2e4rknldwwa6brmtfkfkrpimkjj76tp4@jpeg)
![DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent]
mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string]
DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud]
mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter]
DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying]
mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose]
DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreifw77g6afsgy7rhshwknw4kcdgujwj4al6ymbwiawohrn6wc5hpme@jpeg)
December 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
Reposted by that one guy.
Pepsi Cubed: Same GREAT Taste, Perilous NEW Bottle
Pepsi³
EVERY. SIDE. OPENS.
Pepsi³
EVERY. SIDE. OPENS.
December 21, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Pepsi Cubed: Same GREAT Taste, Perilous NEW Bottle
Pepsi³
EVERY. SIDE. OPENS.
Pepsi³
EVERY. SIDE. OPENS.
Reposted by that one guy.
(final thought as i'm swiftly slain by a band of ninja assassins) kind of a crazy amount of ninjas to hire for this
September 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
(final thought as i'm swiftly slain by a band of ninja assassins) kind of a crazy amount of ninjas to hire for this
Reposted by that one guy.
you should be able to dump as much of YOUR sludge as you want in YOUR lawn! got all this industrial sludge on auction to use as yard sludge, now i got the city breathin down my neck wanting material data sheets like, i dunno what to tell you boys it's sludge, not a salad. it's all one big ingredient
December 14, 2025 at 3:24 PM
you should be able to dump as much of YOUR sludge as you want in YOUR lawn! got all this industrial sludge on auction to use as yard sludge, now i got the city breathin down my neck wanting material data sheets like, i dunno what to tell you boys it's sludge, not a salad. it's all one big ingredient
Reposted by that one guy.
we know you're the rat, shit head, time to die (suddenly remembering i was supposed to make this look like an accident) haha nah i'm playin. this isn't even loaded. classic organized crime bit. gotcha! hey, wouldn't a nice hike in the mountains be so invigorating right now
December 14, 2025 at 7:57 AM
we know you're the rat, shit head, time to die (suddenly remembering i was supposed to make this look like an accident) haha nah i'm playin. this isn't even loaded. classic organized crime bit. gotcha! hey, wouldn't a nice hike in the mountains be so invigorating right now
Reposted by that one guy.
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
'Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey.'
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
Photograph by Daniel Ibanez
December 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE
Reposted by that one guy.
At first you're like, why does this have a wiki page
Then you find out it might be the best wiki page ever
Then you find out it might be the best wiki page ever
November 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
At first you're like, why does this have a wiki page
Then you find out it might be the best wiki page ever
Then you find out it might be the best wiki page ever
Reposted by that one guy.
The damned in hell are not more powerful for the fact that the fires do not consume them; it is part and parcel of their torment.
November 23, 2025 at 10:42 AM
The damned in hell are not more powerful for the fact that the fires do not consume them; it is part and parcel of their torment.
Reposted by that one guy.
can i come over to your house and do this
November 23, 2025 at 6:56 PM
can i come over to your house and do this
Reposted by that one guy.
a “Space Force”, if you will
November 13, 2025 at 2:27 PM
a “Space Force”, if you will
Reposted by that one guy.
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
November 9, 2025 at 3:10 PM
second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard
Reposted by that one guy.
happy 10th anniversary to one of my favourite things i've ever made for halloween 🎉⚰️🎉
October 28, 2025 at 3:25 PM
happy 10th anniversary to one of my favourite things i've ever made for halloween 🎉⚰️🎉
Reposted by that one guy.
buying a knife from TV and just using it to chop up shoes and pipes and stuff cause that's the only part of the ad you saw. you think it's a knife for chopping up sneakers for fun. and it is fun. you're thrilled with the purchase. but shoe costs add up fast. soon you're stealing your friends' shoes,
October 26, 2025 at 6:55 PM
buying a knife from TV and just using it to chop up shoes and pipes and stuff cause that's the only part of the ad you saw. you think it's a knife for chopping up sneakers for fun. and it is fun. you're thrilled with the purchase. but shoe costs add up fast. soon you're stealing your friends' shoes,
Reposted by that one guy.
no i said Shatter Proven glass. see what it did there, all the shards. we made sure it could do that, in a lab
October 26, 2025 at 4:30 AM
no i said Shatter Proven glass. see what it did there, all the shards. we made sure it could do that, in a lab
Reposted by that one guy.
(final thought before i'm killed with a sword) lol nice sword, sword boy
November 24, 2023 at 12:06 AM
(final thought before i'm killed with a sword) lol nice sword, sword boy
Reposted by that one guy.
oooh mr. alert little baby caught me pickpocketing?? guess i'll have to get that candy the Other way
October 12, 2025 at 11:27 AM
oooh mr. alert little baby caught me pickpocketing?? guess i'll have to get that candy the Other way
Reposted by that one guy.
5 people in lab coats hunched around a briefcase for twelve hours straight until one of them has the 2001 a space odyssey monolith epiphany to open the latches. fat stacks of cash burst out like the fake snake in a peanut can gag; everyone is screaming.
September 11, 2024 at 8:04 AM
5 people in lab coats hunched around a briefcase for twelve hours straight until one of them has the 2001 a space odyssey monolith epiphany to open the latches. fat stacks of cash burst out like the fake snake in a peanut can gag; everyone is screaming.
Reposted by that one guy.
i'm gonna steal the next presidential election months before it happens so when everyone goes to vote it's just gone. you pull back the curtain to find an empty booth. the winner, with one write-in vote: bart simpsons
October 6, 2025 at 9:35 PM
i'm gonna steal the next presidential election months before it happens so when everyone goes to vote it's just gone. you pull back the curtain to find an empty booth. the winner, with one write-in vote: bart simpsons
Reposted by that one guy.
paranoid vegan installing meat detectors all over their house and descending the whole way into madness in under twenty four hours because they forgot they're made of meat
September 30, 2025 at 8:10 AM
paranoid vegan installing meat detectors all over their house and descending the whole way into madness in under twenty four hours because they forgot they're made of meat