🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
@reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Author of Even a Dog Enlists, Why Not You? and Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir. Formerly a US Army, MI, UN, NATO, etc. guy. Currently a Regular Human Person goofing off on Bluesky. https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sean-Smith/author/B0B6KPP5XL
Pinned
Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir
Amazon.com: Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir eBook : Smith, Sean M.: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
🧵 The complete guide to the Sean M. Smith literary universe!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
Mood:
Get Where I Belong
YouTube video by Free - Topic
www.youtube.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Mood:
I'm not even Writing Rich, and this kind of deranged shit is why I hated "writing twitter." Strangers don't owe you their book financials! The fuck is wrong with people like this?
Christ, what an asshole.
Christ, what an asshole.
November 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
I'm not even Writing Rich, and this kind of deranged shit is why I hated "writing twitter." Strangers don't owe you their book financials! The fuck is wrong with people like this?
Christ, what an asshole.
Christ, what an asshole.
One of the funny things about writing is how what you worried about while writing can be so at odds with how people really take it.
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
a boy and a girl are standing next to a purple car in a cartoon .
Alt: FLYING GLOMP HUG
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 9:02 PM
One of the funny things about writing is how what you worried about while writing can be so at odds with how people really take it.
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
"Man, I hope I wrote about this thing in a way [hypothetical reader X] won't be insulted or creeped out by...."
3 years later: Actual reader X appears
The favorite guy of the worst contrarian edglord pricks you ever saw keeps getting worse lol
November 25, 2025 at 6:23 PM
The favorite guy of the worst contrarian edglord pricks you ever saw keeps getting worse lol
Its ancestor was Scorched Earth, "The Mother of All Games"
November 25, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Its ancestor was Scorched Earth, "The Mother of All Games"
Happy faces all around!
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
November 25, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Happy faces all around!
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
It's a small thing to fixate on, but I can't get over the idea of talking up undying loyalty among officers based on *branch alone* as a real thing that's real, not even babby Cadet Smith believed in fairy tale glurge like that.
November 25, 2025 at 3:20 PM
It's a small thing to fixate on, but I can't get over the idea of talking up undying loyalty among officers based on *branch alone* as a real thing that's real, not even babby Cadet Smith believed in fairy tale glurge like that.
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
November 25, 2025 at 2:46 PM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
Bari Weiss might be the strangest success story of America's trash era, because her awfulness is so overwhelmingly bland in an era of gold-painted Temu trim on the White House. It's like being offered runny oatmeal as a snack at a late stage Roman Empire orgy where everyone's brains are full of lead
November 25, 2025 at 11:14 AM
Bari Weiss might be the strangest success story of America's trash era, because her awfulness is so overwhelmingly bland in an era of gold-painted Temu trim on the White House. It's like being offered runny oatmeal as a snack at a late stage Roman Empire orgy where everyone's brains are full of lead
This really does seem to be A Thing, doesn't it?
Downstream of the the general problem that for most people left of Romney (including very serious people), anything related to the specifics of defense may as well have cooties & I think virtually every exception to that is active on here
November 25, 2025 at 10:25 AM
This really does seem to be A Thing, doesn't it?
Back then the gulf between the flair havers (mostly from the Gulf or Panama) and not havers was biblical.
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
I mean, SecDef’s rack is full of participation trophies and “I made my bed right” acknowledgements.
One thing I miss about the Cold War years is that if you saw a dude in a USMC uniform with more than two rows of ribbons, you knew homie had genuinely Done Some Shit.
One thing I miss about the Cold War years is that if you saw a dude in a USMC uniform with more than two rows of ribbons, you knew homie had genuinely Done Some Shit.
November 24, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Back then the gulf between the flair havers (mostly from the Gulf or Panama) and not havers was biblical.
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
Shit, do a couple Balkan tours and you were lapping O-5s in volume (if not quality).
Reunion selfies: Trash
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
November 24, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Reunion selfies: Trash
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Hegseth has more like botched corporal brain tbh
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
It's incredible to me that he ever achieved a rank above staff sergeant. He hasn't got the temperament or skills for a commissioned officer.
November 24, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Hegseth has more like botched corporal brain tbh
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
Not that there aren't dogshit terminal captains/ majors but bro can't even fake proper staff jackass minimal brainpower vibes, and I DON'T say that lightly.
🧵 The complete guide to the Sean M. Smith literary universe!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir
Amazon.com: Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir eBook : Smith, Sean M.: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
November 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
🧵 The complete guide to the Sean M. Smith literary universe!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Rank Absurdity is a smart, thoughtful, and hilarious romp through the 1990s Army...It’s a refreshing military story featuring a protagonist that does not take himself too seriously and is very vulnerable and honest."
Reposted by 🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
My kids have measles, I lost my job, and I'm going to die because RFK Jr. cancelled the clinical trials that might have cured my cancer. But at least I know there won't be any same-sex couples in the next Frozen movie.
November 24, 2025 at 6:06 PM
My kids have measles, I lost my job, and I'm going to die because RFK Jr. cancelled the clinical trials that might have cured my cancer. But at least I know there won't be any same-sex couples in the next Frozen movie.
The Chesty Puller to Judith Butler ideological pipeline strikes again [laudatory]
I hate to say it, but my experience as a Marine is that gender and sexuality are constructs.
November 24, 2025 at 1:58 PM
The Chesty Puller to Judith Butler ideological pipeline strikes again [laudatory]
I also think most people have no grasp of how generally unprofitable books are for all but the top % of authors. Like of you steal one of my books you're not "sticking it to the man" so much as taking the equivalent of a small drip coffee from someone with a day job.
I’m just going to block anyone attempting to justify or excuse pirating books. Times are hard, yes, but absolutely NO ONE needs to steal books. Libraries exist. There are umpteen works legitimately in the public domain. You don’t need to take income from authors trying to scrape a living.
November 24, 2025 at 1:33 PM
I also think most people have no grasp of how generally unprofitable books are for all but the top % of authors. Like of you steal one of my books you're not "sticking it to the man" so much as taking the equivalent of a small drip coffee from someone with a day job.
In a braindead buffoon sort of way Tate is just taking hating women to its logical conclusion here. There really is no resolution to the self-inflicted bind of hating everything about women while being sexually attracted to them. It has to contradict itself one way or another until it's "gay" again
These schmucks are approaching what I like to call a "reverse Afghanistan" sexuality here:
November 24, 2025 at 1:20 PM
In a braindead buffoon sort of way Tate is just taking hating women to its logical conclusion here. There really is no resolution to the self-inflicted bind of hating everything about women while being sexually attracted to them. It has to contradict itself one way or another until it's "gay" again
Those are definitely a series of words lol
November 23, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Those are definitely a series of words lol
At various points a West Point class reunion veers into being drunk speed dating at triple-digit scale in an enclosed space, where everyone alternately delights and disappoints each other, if only because because nobody can be "on" all the time and the BAC levels are all over the place.
November 23, 2025 at 3:21 PM
At various points a West Point class reunion veers into being drunk speed dating at triple-digit scale in an enclosed space, where everyone alternately delights and disappoints each other, if only because because nobody can be "on" all the time and the BAC levels are all over the place.
My last 3 brain cells:
November 23, 2025 at 2:43 PM
My last 3 brain cells:
Getting dusty in here for some reason.
My last turn in Iraq we had a lieutenant who was born in Bosnia, and the arrival of the Americans was deliverance from Hell. He said from that moment joining the U.S. Army was all he wanted to do.
November 23, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Getting dusty in here for some reason.
How do you still have this much insecure energy after having a SOF career?
"Did you even collet the lapel pin listed on your DD-214, BRO?!"
"Did you even collet the lapel pin listed on your DD-214, BRO?!"
Two things can both be silly/dumb at once:
• A former SEAL specifying that he was in D Co at Army jump school rather than A, B, or C Co like that’s a flex
• The idea of *GWOT* paratroopers being “used to being behind enemy lines”
• A former SEAL specifying that he was in D Co at Army jump school rather than A, B, or C Co like that’s a flex
• The idea of *GWOT* paratroopers being “used to being behind enemy lines”
November 22, 2025 at 10:33 AM
How do you still have this much insecure energy after having a SOF career?
"Did you even collet the lapel pin listed on your DD-214, BRO?!"
"Did you even collet the lapel pin listed on your DD-214, BRO?!"
"This sounds like fun"
[FILE NOT FOUND]
[FILE NOT FOUND]
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 PM
"This sounds like fun"
[FILE NOT FOUND]
[FILE NOT FOUND]