🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
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reallyseansmith.bsky.social
🥧 Hot Apple Pie Smith
@reallyseansmith.bsky.social
2.2K followers 580 following 8.3K posts
Author of Even a Dog Enlists, Why Not You? and Rank Absurdity: An Irreverent Military Memoir. Formerly a US Army, MI, UN, NATO, etc. guy. Currently a Regular Human Person goofing off on Bluesky. https://www.amazon.com/stores/Sean-Smith/author/B0B6KPP5XL
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reallyseansmith.bsky.social
I'm not even Writing Rich, and this kind of deranged shit is why I hated "writing twitter." Strangers don't owe you their book financials! The fuck is wrong with people like this?

Christ, what an asshole.
HELLO! If you are going to reply to this thread and claim that you make all the money you need for food, shelter and utilities from your books, then please share a ballpark royalties statement and the titles that contribute to your success.
November 25, 2025 at 9:31 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Happy faces all around!

(The O-2 to O-3 bump actually was pretty great all around tbh)
My old military ID as a captain in the Army.
November 25, 2025 at 4:34 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
"You'll be visited by three spirits."
The Jimi Hendrix Experience
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Reunion selfies: Trash

Lyft from the airport: JJ Abrams presents Star Trek (2009)
Accidentally arty picture of me in the back of a Lyft with a mad natural lens flare out of nowhere
November 24, 2025 at 10:12 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
It's probably the most fun you can have with World War I within the bounds of good taste, which admittedly isn't the greatest sales pitch now that I'm typing it, but still. I also think I caught a much better historian than me in a mistake involving laxatives.*

*They haven't noticed lol
5.0 out of 5 stars Engaging, Educational, & Entertaining Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 31, 2024 Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase The author's aim was not to write a comprehensive account of the USA's involvement in WWI but rather to use the experiences of their own family members to serve as a series of windows into that conflict. In that ambition they have been highly successful, with the resulting narrative being valuable to a far wider audience than even that one family. This is a book written in a way that is light and accessible to all without in any way diminishing the historical importance of the conflict or the period of time in which it occurred. The content is simple and clear without being at all dumbed-down. The services, times, and places of the author's ancestors were used skillfully to select topics on which to focus, adding depth and detail to enrich the discussion. The author's own military service is also used to good effect, providing interesting points of historical comparison as well as sardonically amusing reflection on certain patterns of military thinking that never seem to change! I purchased this book for the library where I work for our military history collection. It is ideal as an introductory non-fic for older teen or adult readers who may not know anything of the US in WWI or who are not generally readers of military history. With Even a Dog Enlists...they are given a non-threatening (compared to some 600+ page dense-text WWI books we also have in my library!) way to read about the era with relatable experiences of ordinary people. Despite the quantity of educational information included, there is no hint of the textbook or feel of learning for a test - the engaging narrative in each chapter keeps pages turning with no effort at all.
November 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
This is the place to start for most people. It's a quick read, it's the most popular one by sales, and also it's the cheaper of the two, so if you don't like it you will have wasted less money.

More shamelessly cherry-picked reviews:
5.0 out of 5 stars Exactly as advertised - and that's great! Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2023 Format: Paperback Verified Purchase Let's be clear about this up front: when the author calls this a "military memoir of a completely different stripe", he's not exercising false modesty. You won't find great heroics or corporate leadership lessons in this book. But what you will find is refreshingly candid and hilarious. I especially recommend this book for anyone who was attending or teaching at the U.S. Military Academy in the early to mid-90s; you will find a lot of yourself in this book and may get some insights into things you had no idea about. Veterans of the late '90s Balkan peacekeeping missions will also appreciate seeing their service reflected here. 5.0 out of 5 stars Fun and enjoyable read Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2022 Format: Paperback This book made me chuckle from the first page to the last. Smith eloquently penned his experiences into a concise, factual (mostly, he says), and quite humerous account that leaves the reader with a sense of admiration and appreciation for his service to his country. Great insight into the author’s personal ups and downs made the stories meaningful and relatable, especially to anyone who has ever served in the armed forces - probably for pretty much any country in the world. Well done.
November 24, 2025 at 8:45 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
My last 3 brain cells:
3 headed green Muppet monster
November 23, 2025 at 2:43 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
"This sounds like fun"

[FILE NOT FOUND]
Picture of me with a kitten on my shoulder
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Arvin Gym still has exactly the same cursed smell and I think it did some kind of psychic damage to go back there. 😅
The swimming pool at Arvin Gym today. Excerpt from my book Rank Absurdity where DPE major roasts me for being bad at swimming.
November 20, 2025 at 9:56 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
*chef's kiss*
Ralston never did enlist. Instead, he got certified through an online law enforcement course that came with a free T-shirt and started applying to federal jobs that “required courage but not cardio.” “Being an agent gives me purpose,” he said. “It’s like deployment, but the people speak English. Which was a big issue for me, because I struggle with that enough as it be hence thereforth.”
November 20, 2025 at 12:31 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Thats_bait.gif
The fear of not having enough money is familiar. But there’s a quieter struggle at the top: feeling uncomfortable with having too much, says money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal ⬇️
November 20, 2025 at 11:05 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
This produced a few absolutely demented responses to block, but it's simply a statement of fact, not an opinion. There is simply nothing to argue with here.

People got mad thinking I was making a statement about obeying orders, but uh it never mentions that separate topic lol
Thr classic "So you hate waffles?" tweet
November 20, 2025 at 10:56 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Post a book you love from the 80s. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.
Cosmos (1980) by Carl Sagan
November 19, 2025 at 7:29 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
I'm really doing this reunion thing for real.

Hopefully a few folks will be able to recognize me after all this time...
Me in a USMA 1995 reunion shirt holding a cup of iced coffee that just happens to be blocking the view of my face.
November 19, 2025 at 3:15 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
If you see this , share a Western vid or GIF 🖤
Woody Strode as Jake Sharp from The Professionals (1966)
November 19, 2025 at 2:14 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
UPDATE: More lulz
Mod post announcing ban of political posting on r/joerogan was itself [removed by moderator] "Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked, have been sacked"
November 19, 2025 at 1:44 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
How I look reading your posts:
THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS PHONE
November 19, 2025 at 1:12 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
there are 4 types of guys online. no exceptions
Photo of the members of Led Zeppelin
November 19, 2025 at 4:01 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Man, it's been a minute since I've worn this...
My hand, wearing my West Point class ring.
November 19, 2025 at 1:47 AM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Orson Welles always hated him, too!
Orson Welles explains why he hates Woody Allen.
November 18, 2025 at 8:24 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
But also
"All celebrity news looks like this" meme but it says CURTAINS FOR LIZZA? O-DAWG CAUGHT GIVING THE NUZZI TOM FORD WITH STRINGS ATTACHED
November 18, 2025 at 2:30 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Just shut up and wait for it to blow over [CHALLENGE: IMPOSSIBLE]
Keith Olberman just makes it worse: "Btw about this from Lizza's reply: Olivia and I lived together for 4+ years (4 b'days, 4 Xmases, 4 anniversaries). That's like $1250 of jewelry per celebration. And her apartment was a writing studio. And I made an f-ton then. What was I supposed to do? Get her a lot of Gift Certificates from Kmart?"
November 18, 2025 at 2:16 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Reverse engineering lynching [LEFTISHLY]
‪Rachael the Hobbit‬ ‪@rachael-the-hobbit.bsky.social‬ · 9h Revenge/physical combat was how people settled things for literally millions of years, it's normal human behavior, we're wolves not sheep, the government project trying to social engineer us and domesticate us into sheep has been unsuccessful 31 33 Rachael the Hobbit ‪@rachael-the-hobbit.bsky.social‬ Follow And tell me how the government putting a rapist away for 2 years is justice but the victim stabbing him isn't lol November 17, 2025 at 6:25 AM 1 repost 6 quotes 2 likes
November 17, 2025 at 9:43 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
Back in my day in high school we didn't need social media algorithms spoon-feeding us "incel ideology" or "ironic racism" to make girls annoyed that we existed! We made it work with embarrassing facial hair, hormonally-amped emotional chaos and giant tumor zits on our foreheads! 😡
Jill Filipovic @JillFilipovic · Nov 16 Might be worth asking what it is about high school boys that girls don’t find appealing, I have a feeling the list is long and informative.
November 17, 2025 at 3:23 PM
reallyseansmith.bsky.social
"Man, now that's a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that."
RANDOM LINE FROM AN 80S MOVIE THAT FANS OF IT WILL INSTANTLY KNOW
November 17, 2025 at 2:36 PM