Oregano Jones, Legal Shitposter
@oreganojones.bsky.social
Non-lawyering lawyer, father, drinker, shitposter. I'm here for a short time, not a good time. Ha ha, this bio is terrible.
Pinned
Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla
ROANOKE, VA—Local claims adjuster David Seaborne, a devoted husband and father of three, died Tuesday at the age of 37 following a long and painful personal battle with a 512-pound eastern lowland gor...
theonion.com
Many of you are too young to remember when The Onion was funny, but I'll do my best to provide some historical examples.
theonion.com/man-dies-aft...
theonion.com/man-dies-aft...
How we all doing under here?
October 5, 2025 at 3:33 AM
How we all doing under here?
It's a bright new Wednesday. Brisbane summer has arrived. None of your feelings today are valid.
September 9, 2025 at 11:29 PM
It's a bright new Wednesday. Brisbane summer has arrived. None of your feelings today are valid.
Jesus Christ you people are still posting over here. We thought you'd all asphyxiated after the cave-in.
July 15, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Jesus Christ you people are still posting over here. We thought you'd all asphyxiated after the cave-in.
You know that Russian satellite that started falling to earth this week? It was supposed to go to Venus. Fucking Venus. Is there ANYTHING that shitfuck of a planet can't ruin?
May 13, 2025 at 7:40 AM
You know that Russian satellite that started falling to earth this week? It was supposed to go to Venus. Fucking Venus. Is there ANYTHING that shitfuck of a planet can't ruin?
🎵 cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
a spinning hills hoist and some bags full of goon 🎵
a spinning hills hoist and some bags full of goon 🎵
April 21, 2025 at 1:57 AM
🎵 cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
a spinning hills hoist and some bags full of goon 🎵
a spinning hills hoist and some bags full of goon 🎵
Reposted by Oregano Jones, Legal Shitposter
elon, wheeling a baby out on stage: i have invented the world’s first invincible baby
[elon throws a heavy iron ball at the newborn, instantly killing it]
[elon throws a heavy iron ball at the newborn, instantly killing it]
April 7, 2025 at 12:52 AM
elon, wheeling a baby out on stage: i have invented the world’s first invincible baby
[elon throws a heavy iron ball at the newborn, instantly killing it]
[elon throws a heavy iron ball at the newborn, instantly killing it]
Reposted by Oregano Jones, Legal Shitposter
Having stoners answer customer service calls is so effective. My grocery delivery got stolen (so I'm mad) so I called the store & some dude was like "Seriously? Damn, what the fuck" and I was like "Right? Dude, I know" and he's like "Fuck dude, let me get this fixed" and I was like "Bro, thank you."
April 2, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Having stoners answer customer service calls is so effective. My grocery delivery got stolen (so I'm mad) so I called the store & some dude was like "Seriously? Damn, what the fuck" and I was like "Right? Dude, I know" and he's like "Fuck dude, let me get this fixed" and I was like "Bro, thank you."
Much like currency and gravity, international law only works if enough people believe in it.
Unlike currency and gravity, almost no one believes in international law anymore.
Unlike currency and gravity, almost no one believes in international law anymore.
Leaders and officials from ICC member states must not undermine the ICC by meeting with any ICC fugitives - that includes Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
April 5, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Much like currency and gravity, international law only works if enough people believe in it.
Unlike currency and gravity, almost no one believes in international law anymore.
Unlike currency and gravity, almost no one believes in international law anymore.
In terms of lore, Street Fighter II has much more going on than Control.
April 5, 2025 at 5:16 AM
In terms of lore, Street Fighter II has much more going on than Control.
In these troubled times, the world could really benefit from a modern-day Phoebe Cates.
April 4, 2025 at 10:09 PM
In these troubled times, the world could really benefit from a modern-day Phoebe Cates.
You'd be livid if you became untethered in time. Such an absolute pain in the ass.
April 1, 2025 at 11:51 AM
You'd be livid if you became untethered in time. Such an absolute pain in the ass.
Data centres are bad for the environment (during those periods where they are spending energy on stuff I disapprove of).
March 29, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Data centres are bad for the environment (during those periods where they are spending energy on stuff I disapprove of).
Indominus Rex continues to stomp on government secrecy.
Govt lawyers threatened me not to publish arguments they were using to keep an #AUKUS high level nuclear waste location report secret. I asked @michaelwest.com.au.web.brid.gy to publish the arguments and then said to the Govt, “put up, or shut up”. They put up. 👇THEY LOST!👇 💪👊💥 #auspol
March 29, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Indominus Rex continues to stomp on government secrecy.
Reposted by Oregano Jones, Legal Shitposter
think a hearse would be basically the ideal vehicle to have for a big ikea run
March 16, 2025 at 3:48 AM
think a hearse would be basically the ideal vehicle to have for a big ikea run
I don't even own AN otter.
March 29, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I don't even own AN otter.
Jurassic Park (1993) - ridiculous, was the owner of InGen just going to personally attend every tour?
Also, classic Spielberg in the early scenes, making things seem ominous. I am the first person ever to notice that directors have a particular style.
Also, classic Spielberg in the early scenes, making things seem ominous. I am the first person ever to notice that directors have a particular style.
March 28, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Jurassic Park (1993) - ridiculous, was the owner of InGen just going to personally attend every tour?
Also, classic Spielberg in the early scenes, making things seem ominous. I am the first person ever to notice that directors have a particular style.
Also, classic Spielberg in the early scenes, making things seem ominous. I am the first person ever to notice that directors have a particular style.
I really like Give Your Heart a Break by Demi Lovato. Both because it's catchy, and because it's clever.
"Don't wanna break your heart,
wanna give your heart a break"
Usually you can't reverse the words and change the meaning like that. I've been trying to think of alternative words.
"Don't wanna break your heart,
wanna give your heart a break"
Usually you can't reverse the words and change the meaning like that. I've been trying to think of alternative words.
March 22, 2025 at 7:10 AM
I really like Give Your Heart a Break by Demi Lovato. Both because it's catchy, and because it's clever.
"Don't wanna break your heart,
wanna give your heart a break"
Usually you can't reverse the words and change the meaning like that. I've been trying to think of alternative words.
"Don't wanna break your heart,
wanna give your heart a break"
Usually you can't reverse the words and change the meaning like that. I've been trying to think of alternative words.
It's harmony day, so if you cunts could show a little bit of racial tolerance that'd be fucking great.
March 20, 2025 at 11:28 PM
It's harmony day, so if you cunts could show a little bit of racial tolerance that'd be fucking great.
This is such a ballsy way to begin a fundraising email.
I wonder if other companies could do this.
"400 killed and millions starving in Gaza. Do not stay quiet in the face of Genocide - two large Domino's pizzas delivered from $29.95. Conditions apply."
I wonder if other companies could do this.
"400 killed and millions starving in Gaza. Do not stay quiet in the face of Genocide - two large Domino's pizzas delivered from $29.95. Conditions apply."
March 18, 2025 at 9:23 PM
This is such a ballsy way to begin a fundraising email.
I wonder if other companies could do this.
"400 killed and millions starving in Gaza. Do not stay quiet in the face of Genocide - two large Domino's pizzas delivered from $29.95. Conditions apply."
I wonder if other companies could do this.
"400 killed and millions starving in Gaza. Do not stay quiet in the face of Genocide - two large Domino's pizzas delivered from $29.95. Conditions apply."
Scared? You should be.
March 16, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Scared? You should be.
If Google Calendar had been available in ancient Rome then Caesar could simply have made an all-day reminder labelled "Beware" on the Ides and then he would have remembered not to walk around without his anti-stab toga.
March 16, 2025 at 2:13 AM
If Google Calendar had been available in ancient Rome then Caesar could simply have made an all-day reminder labelled "Beware" on the Ides and then he would have remembered not to walk around without his anti-stab toga.
Reposted by Oregano Jones, Legal Shitposter
It’s such a relief this article is here to assuage this rampant uncertainty that’s been plaguing us.
An Australian politician called Trump’s tariffs a ‘dog act’ – but what does it mean and how offensive is it?
An Australian politician called Trump’s tariffs a ‘dog act’ – but what does it mean and how offensive is it?
A ‘dog act’ isn’t simply ruffling someone’s feathers – it’s an act of betrayal. Caitlin Cassidy explains the meaning of the Australian phrase to Julia Hollingsworth.
* Follow our Australia news live blog for latest updates
* Get our breaking news…
www.theguardian.com
March 13, 2025 at 5:45 AM
It’s such a relief this article is here to assuage this rampant uncertainty that’s been plaguing us.
Joke's on you, buddy. I also phoned the jerk store and they've actually got heaps of me in stock.
March 16, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Joke's on you, buddy. I also phoned the jerk store and they've actually got heaps of me in stock.
Prediction: the US election will happen as normal in four years time. And everyone on Bluesky currently claiming elections won't happen will just pivot to taking credit for making elections happen through constant Bluesky posting.
March 16, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Prediction: the US election will happen as normal in four years time. And everyone on Bluesky currently claiming elections won't happen will just pivot to taking credit for making elections happen through constant Bluesky posting.
Reposted by Oregano Jones, Legal Shitposter
almost thought the boat was taller than the cliff, phew
March 13, 2025 at 10:07 PM
almost thought the boat was taller than the cliff, phew