Mortimer Langford
@mortimerlangford.bsky.social
35 year old recovering Scorpio. Married. Author. IT guy. Father. Unwilling disciple of chaos.
He/Him
Buy my damn books:
https://amzn.to/4oOHjz2
He/Him
Buy my damn books:
https://amzn.to/4oOHjz2
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
we must continue to protect her at all costs (& also get her a gundam)
January 29, 2026 at 9:11 PM
we must continue to protect her at all costs (& also get her a gundam)
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
"But Gundams don't exist"
In a normal timeline you'd be the rational adult in the room but considering we live in some kind of anything goes techno-accelerationist timeline now I actually don't think there's any excuse for not making a Gundam and giving it to Ilhan Omar
In a normal timeline you'd be the rational adult in the room but considering we live in some kind of anything goes techno-accelerationist timeline now I actually don't think there's any excuse for not making a Gundam and giving it to Ilhan Omar
I'm just really pretty damn sure things would not have gotten this bad if we had given Ilhan Omar a gundam back in 2020
January 30, 2026 at 12:33 AM
"But Gundams don't exist"
In a normal timeline you'd be the rational adult in the room but considering we live in some kind of anything goes techno-accelerationist timeline now I actually don't think there's any excuse for not making a Gundam and giving it to Ilhan Omar
In a normal timeline you'd be the rational adult in the room but considering we live in some kind of anything goes techno-accelerationist timeline now I actually don't think there's any excuse for not making a Gundam and giving it to Ilhan Omar
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
do u think a muppet ever let out a small moan when ol jimmy henny slipped his fist in
January 30, 2026 at 12:42 AM
do u think a muppet ever let out a small moan when ol jimmy henny slipped his fist in
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Sorry this is so funny
January 30, 2026 at 12:48 AM
Sorry this is so funny
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
I see your "should be removed from their jobs" and raise you "should be prosecuted for murder."
Schumer calls for Kristi Noem and Stephen Miller to be removed from their jobs.
January 28, 2026 at 9:14 PM
I see your "should be removed from their jobs" and raise you "should be prosecuted for murder."
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Listening to some KMFDM and I love how at least one or two songs per album are "we're KMFDM, we rock, we're awesome, fuck yeah we exist"
January 28, 2026 at 7:04 PM
Listening to some KMFDM and I love how at least one or two songs per album are "we're KMFDM, we rock, we're awesome, fuck yeah we exist"
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
me when Greg Bovino walks into the unemployment office
January 27, 2026 at 2:52 AM
me when Greg Bovino walks into the unemployment office
Soup in a bowl of just savory cereal.
Soup in a mug is just really chunky tea.
Soup in a bread bowl is just a moist sandwich
January 27, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Soup in a bowl of just savory cereal.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Bovino is just the patsy - a noxious and odious fall guy. Stephen Miller is the architect and prime mover of the whole thing. Everything they do is at his direction - often after his threats. As long as he runs policy in the WH, nothing will change no matter how many Bovinos come and go.
January 27, 2026 at 12:17 AM
Bovino is just the patsy - a noxious and odious fall guy. Stephen Miller is the architect and prime mover of the whole thing. Everything they do is at his direction - often after his threats. As long as he runs policy in the WH, nothing will change no matter how many Bovinos come and go.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
It is profoundly sad that a white man's concealed carry guns rights is what is getting certain people to finally understand that the US government does not give a shit about laws or rights or lives. This is not a criticism of the victim. This is a criticism of the US's sympathies & priorities.
January 26, 2026 at 8:12 PM
It is profoundly sad that a white man's concealed carry guns rights is what is getting certain people to finally understand that the US government does not give a shit about laws or rights or lives. This is not a criticism of the victim. This is a criticism of the US's sympathies & priorities.
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
We’re airing a new campaign ad, starting tomorrow.
Here it is:
Here it is:
January 25, 2026 at 11:08 PM
We’re airing a new campaign ad, starting tomorrow.
Here it is:
Here it is:
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
load bearing tweet for a settler colonial society
January 25, 2026 at 2:11 PM
load bearing tweet for a settler colonial society
Werner Herzog's Lego Movie
Akira Kurosawa's My Dinner with Andre
Herschell Gordon Lewis presents: Koyaanisqatsi
January 25, 2026 at 4:31 PM
Werner Herzog's Lego Movie
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
If you are running for president you should make clear you’re gonna send Greg Bovino to prison
January 25, 2026 at 2:58 PM
If you are running for president you should make clear you’re gonna send Greg Bovino to prison
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Improve a game title by adding "The Hedgehog" to the end
Sonic The Hedgehog The Hedgehog
Sonic The Hedgehog The Hedgehog
Improve a game title by adding "The Hedgehog" at the end
January 22, 2026 at 8:10 AM
Improve a game title by adding "The Hedgehog" to the end
Sonic The Hedgehog The Hedgehog
Sonic The Hedgehog The Hedgehog
Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals"
Hardcore Henry With Big Naturals
Hardcore Henry With Big Naturals
Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals"
I, Robot With Big Naturals
I, Robot With Big Naturals
Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals"
January 22, 2026 at 2:07 AM
Improve a movie title by adding "With Big Naturals"
Hardcore Henry With Big Naturals
Hardcore Henry With Big Naturals
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Every poll these days is like:
- Mad Nazi Pedophile King: 39%
- The Democrats: 42%
- Mad Nazi Pedophile King: 39%
- The Democrats: 42%
January 22, 2026 at 1:26 AM
Every poll these days is like:
- Mad Nazi Pedophile King: 39%
- The Democrats: 42%
- Mad Nazi Pedophile King: 39%
- The Democrats: 42%
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
no greenlander ever called me a libtard
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Reposted by Mortimer Langford
Americans: Can we get affordable healthcare?
GOP: Will you settle for Greenland?
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: We’ll just go ahead and invade Iran.
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: You’re welcome!
GOP: Will you settle for Greenland?
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: We’ll just go ahead and invade Iran.
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: You’re welcome!
January 14, 2026 at 3:25 PM
Americans: Can we get affordable healthcare?
GOP: Will you settle for Greenland?
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: We’ll just go ahead and invade Iran.
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: You’re welcome!
GOP: Will you settle for Greenland?
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: We’ll just go ahead and invade Iran.
Americans: [𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦]
GOP: You’re welcome!
What for classic video games do you find yourself replaying no matter your old they are?
(I know Sonic Origins on the switch is pretty new, I just mean when they're rereleased in various forms, I'll usually end up buying and playing them again)
(I know Sonic Origins on the switch is pretty new, I just mean when they're rereleased in various forms, I'll usually end up buying and playing them again)
January 11, 2026 at 11:32 PM
What for classic video games do you find yourself replaying no matter your old they are?
(I know Sonic Origins on the switch is pretty new, I just mean when they're rereleased in various forms, I'll usually end up buying and playing them again)
(I know Sonic Origins on the switch is pretty new, I just mean when they're rereleased in various forms, I'll usually end up buying and playing them again)