Michael Ian Black
@michaelianblack.bsky.social
Just a guy who works in an office lol
"I hesitate to call it a proper date for two reasons: first, because neither of us had admitted to any sort of feelings for the other to that point and, second, because she was living with her boyfriend at the time." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/thanksgood...
Thanksgooding
Well, it’s Thanksgiving again.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 27, 2025 at 4:31 PM
"I hesitate to call it a proper date for two reasons: first, because neither of us had admitted to any sort of feelings for the other to that point and, second, because she was living with her boyfriend at the time." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/thanksgood...
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
A comic for those familiar with the I'M picture books about kids' emotions, by @michaelianblack.bsky.social and me @simonkids.bsky.social, featuring a talking Potato. 😁
debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
#KidLit #Thanksgiving
debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
#KidLit #Thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 2:52 PM
A comic for those familiar with the I'M picture books about kids' emotions, by @michaelianblack.bsky.social and me @simonkids.bsky.social, featuring a talking Potato. 😁
debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
#KidLit #Thanksgiving
debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
#KidLit #Thanksgiving
Welp, that should further fuck the nation right up the ol' wazoo.
NEW: President Trump tonight confirmed suspect in the shooting that critically injured two West Virginia National Guard members in D.C. is an Afghan national and vowed to step up his administration's hardline immigration crackdown.
Trump: National Guard shooting an "act of terror" by Afghan "flown in by the Biden admin"
Trump vowed his administration will "re-examine every single" immigrant who had entered the U.S. from Afghanistan under Biden.
www.axios.com
November 27, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Welp, that should further fuck the nation right up the ol' wazoo.
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
"One of the many problems with installing an amoral doofus without a coherent governing philosophy at the helm of the world’s richest nation is that [he] will then behave as an amoral doofus without a coherent governing philosophy." @michaelianblack.bsky.social
www.thedailybeast.com/travel-plans...
www.thedailybeast.com/travel-plans...
Travel Plans For Thanksgiving? We’re All Headed to Crazy Town
Forget fighting over politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table, because we can all agree that the United States is (over)cooked.
www.thedailybeast.com
November 26, 2025 at 9:56 PM
"One of the many problems with installing an amoral doofus without a coherent governing philosophy at the helm of the world’s richest nation is that [he] will then behave as an amoral doofus without a coherent governing philosophy." @michaelianblack.bsky.social
www.thedailybeast.com/travel-plans...
www.thedailybeast.com/travel-plans...
For the Daily Beast, I wrote about Thanksgiving gratitude during difficult days. www.thedailybeast.com/travel-plans...
Travel Plans For Thanksgiving? We’re All Headed to Crazy Town
Forget fighting over politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table, because we can all agree that the United States is (over)cooked.
www.thedailybeast.com
November 26, 2025 at 9:52 PM
For the Daily Beast, I wrote about Thanksgiving gratitude during difficult days. www.thedailybeast.com/travel-plans...
“Tomorrow, we gather to give thanks, just as we’ve done for the past few centuries. We do it because gratitude binds a nation together more tightly than bullets.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/this-thank...
This Thanksgiving, Enjoy Some Rocky Road
We are, again, on the cusp on my favorite American holiday.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:04 PM
“Tomorrow, we gather to give thanks, just as we’ve done for the past few centuries. We do it because gratitude binds a nation together more tightly than bullets.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/this-thank...
Has anybody else basically stopped paying attention to almost everything he says?
November 26, 2025 at 3:08 AM
Has anybody else basically stopped paying attention to almost everything he says?
Motion to replace the phrase "take a shower" with "have a shower." I'm about to have a shower.
November 25, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Motion to replace the phrase "take a shower" with "have a shower." I'm about to have a shower.
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
I’m at the ‘Ted Kaczynski actually made some good points’ stage of the tech cycle.
Google at its peak was basically the best information retrieval system in human history and they and every competitor decided going from there to “you didn’t want answers you wanted half-assed auto-complete 80%-wrong hallucinations” in a few years was the right idea
November 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
I’m at the ‘Ted Kaczynski actually made some good points’ stage of the tech cycle.
The Genesis Project is meant to "harness Federal scientific databases... [and will] bring together our Nation’s research and development resources [with] the efforts of brilliant American scientists."
Bro, you fired them all.
Bro, you fired them all.
"the president has directed the Department of Energy to launch an AI project called the genesis mission" sounds like something out of a technothriller
www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...
www.whitehouse.gov/presidential...
Launching the Genesis Mission
By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, it is hereby ordered: Section 1. Purpose.
www.whitehouse.gov
November 25, 2025 at 12:19 AM
The Genesis Project is meant to "harness Federal scientific databases... [and will] bring together our Nation’s research and development resources [with] the efforts of brilliant American scientists."
Bro, you fired them all.
Bro, you fired them all.
“The uncertainty of my career also provides its greatest joy. In my business, one is always a phone call away from a life-changing opportunity. But I don’t want my life to change. I like everything about my life - my spouse, my home, one of my kids.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/i-too-will...
I, Too, Will One Day Drive A School Bus
A couple days ago, I announced my retirement from stand-up comedy. It’s something I’d been thinking about for a while and it comes on the heels of my new obsession, which is running retirement scenari...
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 11:57 PM
“The uncertainty of my career also provides its greatest joy. In my business, one is always a phone call away from a life-changing opportunity. But I don’t want my life to change. I like everything about my life - my spouse, my home, one of my kids.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/i-too-will...
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
Sunday Snack Day
When the world is a shitshow, we still have snacks.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:20 PM
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
A good review of our latest offering from Kirkus. Huzzah!
"A sound reminder for all—both kids and the adults who are responsible for scheduling their time." YAY, Kirkus likes I'M BUSY by @michaelianblack.bsky.social & me! ❤️💛💙💚🧡 www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews...
Note: "brilliant endpapers" were designed by the fabulous Laurent Linn at S&S, not me.
Note: "brilliant endpapers" were designed by the fabulous Laurent Linn at S&S, not me.
I'M BUSY | Kirkus Reviews
Actor, comedian, and writer Black and illustrator Ohi team up once more, this time for the story of an overscheduled youngster who must make time to relax.
www.kirkusreviews.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:23 PM
A good review of our latest offering from Kirkus. Huzzah!
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
Sunday Snack Day
When the world is a shitshow, we still have snacks.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 23, 2025 at 6:20 PM
"Before we begin, I will note that none of the snacks on offer today have been reviewed by the Mike and Tom Eat Snacks podcast because the number 2 rule in the snack game is 'don’t double dip.' The number 1 rule, of course is 'play it straight.'" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/sunday-sna...
Reposted by Michael Ian Black
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
Glory to Mother Queens
Zohran Mamdani launched a Thanksgiving charm offense aimed squarely at the president, resulting in Donald Trump himself becoming the day’s main course.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 5:05 PM
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
I'll trade Elvis wig guy for the guy who decided presidents are above the law.
Missouri Judge Who Wore Elvis Wig in Court Agrees to Resign www.nytimes.com/2025/11/20/u...
And I’m gifting this one because it’s really funny
And I’m gifting this one because it’s really funny
Missouri Judge Who Wore Elvis Wig in Court Agrees to Resign
www.nytimes.com
November 22, 2025 at 7:21 PM
I'll trade Elvis wig guy for the guy who decided presidents are above the law.
Oh boy! Maybe my copy arrives today!!! Can’t wait for this book to be out in the wild. Deals with over-scheduled kids and also talking potatoes.
LOOK WHAT *JUST* ARRIVED, along w/sweet note from @jpchanda.bsky.social!
I'M BUSY by @michaelianblack.bsky.social & me launches 2025-02-24 @simonkids.bsky.social. More re: our I'M series: debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
Pre-order: bookshop.org/p/books/i-m-...
Photo: @jridpath.bsky.social #KidLit
I'M BUSY by @michaelianblack.bsky.social & me launches 2025-02-24 @simonkids.bsky.social. More re: our I'M series: debbieohi.com/im-picture-b...
Pre-order: bookshop.org/p/books/i-m-...
Photo: @jridpath.bsky.social #KidLit
November 22, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Oh boy! Maybe my copy arrives today!!! Can’t wait for this book to be out in the wild. Deals with over-scheduled kids and also talking potatoes.
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
Glory to Mother Queens
Zohran Mamdani launched a Thanksgiving charm offense aimed squarely at the president, resulting in Donald Trump himself becoming the day’s main course.
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 5:05 PM
"All New York boroughs are cities unto themselves, each with a distinct character. Queens is the mouthy cousin wearing booty shorts. Queens will tell you to fuck off and then ask whatchu gonna do about it, biiiiitch?" michaelianblack.substack.com/p/glory-to-m...
Will she be returning to Mordor?
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene says she's resigning from Congress — effective January 5, 2026.
November 22, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Will she be returning to Mordor?
This guy's got a special. Watch his instead of mine (which isn't out yet, anyway).
Hey fellow Comedy Dynamics buddy, on your way out, care to give my special a little bump? It cuts a much different path than most, trying to teach men not to be afraid of their feelings: www.comedydynamics.com/catalog/ryan... I'm poor, so was never able to advertise it.
Ryan James: I'm Fine - Comedy Dynamics
In Ryan James: I'm Fine, James takes a deep dive into the darkest of places without a trace of self-pity in a hilarious performance that rises into a heart-warming.
www.comedydynamics.com
November 21, 2025 at 3:40 PM
This guy's got a special. Watch his instead of mine (which isn't out yet, anyway).
“Stand-up comedy is for vagabonds and people incapable of keeping inappropriate remark to themselves. It’s for malcontents and weirdos. I’m no longer any of those things.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/goodnight-...
Goodnight, Room
On quitting stand-up
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 21, 2025 at 2:45 PM
“Stand-up comedy is for vagabonds and people incapable of keeping inappropriate remark to themselves. It’s for malcontents and weirdos. I’m no longer any of those things.” michaelianblack.substack.com/p/goodnight-...
Watching the Bills/Texans game and just deduced that I am older than many of the players' parents. Profoundly upsetting.
November 21, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Watching the Bills/Texans game and just deduced that I am older than many of the players' parents. Profoundly upsetting.
I'm guessing they're going to classify the pride flag as a hate symbol.
The U.S. Coast Guard in new materials reviewed by USA TODAY called swastikas and nooses "potentially divisive symbols."
Coast Guard document calls swastikas, nooses 'potentially divisive symbols'
The U.S. Coast Guard in new materials reviewed by USA TODAY called swastikas and nooses "potentially divisive symbols."
bit.ly
November 20, 2025 at 11:46 PM
I'm guessing they're going to classify the pride flag as a hate symbol.
And so handsome!
Loved seeing @michaelianblack.bsky.social’s special the other night! Will watch again when it’s released! So funny!
November 20, 2025 at 9:43 PM
And so handsome!
"In the first term, we worried that our president was beholden to Russia. In this term, we worry that the rest of the world learned the lesson Putin taught – for the right price, Trump will be your bitch." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/a-sphincte...
A Sphincter That Just Won't Quit
With the imminent release of the Epstein files, it feels as though we’ve entered a new, and potentially dangerious, phase in the second Trump presidency: the economy remains tenuous, he’s backpedaling...
michaelianblack.substack.com
November 20, 2025 at 5:29 PM
"In the first term, we worried that our president was beholden to Russia. In this term, we worry that the rest of the world learned the lesson Putin taught – for the right price, Trump will be your bitch." michaelianblack.substack.com/p/a-sphincte...