Reposted by Lauren
You know in movies where they kinda wipe their hand gently over the face of a dead guy and it closes their eyes. It would be a good gag if they did that on a guy with glasses. Either his eyes close or the glasses turn into sunglasses.
August 16, 2025 at 9:18 PM
You know in movies where they kinda wipe their hand gently over the face of a dead guy and it closes their eyes. It would be a good gag if they did that on a guy with glasses. Either his eyes close or the glasses turn into sunglasses.
Reposted by Lauren
a guy just walked into this movie theater lobby, bought a large popcorn, and then left. marched out into the driving snow holding his steaming movie theater popcorn. you can do whatever you want in this life
December 30, 2025 at 2:39 AM
a guy just walked into this movie theater lobby, bought a large popcorn, and then left. marched out into the driving snow holding his steaming movie theater popcorn. you can do whatever you want in this life
Reposted by Lauren
They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab
December 27, 2025 at 1:56 PM
They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab
The baby is by far the most concerned-looking of my children and I have to imagine it’s because he was born in the year of our lord 2025
December 28, 2025 at 8:33 PM
The baby is by far the most concerned-looking of my children and I have to imagine it’s because he was born in the year of our lord 2025
Santa was good to me. I’m gonna do it
I meant to this year but 2026 I think I will get proficient at using a sewing machine
December 27, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Santa was good to me. I’m gonna do it
Reposted by Lauren
He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
December 23, 2025 at 11:49 PM
He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
Crafty Christmas—embroidered this in J’s handwriting for my MIL ❤️
December 24, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Crafty Christmas—embroidered this in J’s handwriting for my MIL ❤️
Reposted by Lauren
If the Grinch tried to pull any of that shit around me I would shoot him in the fucking face
December 23, 2025 at 11:37 PM
If the Grinch tried to pull any of that shit around me I would shoot him in the fucking face
4yo simply can’t keep a surprise which is very funny
“Dada told me not to tell you what he got you for Christmas. Oh, ok, I’ll tell you”
“Dada told me not to tell you what he got you for Christmas. Oh, ok, I’ll tell you”
December 23, 2025 at 10:21 PM
4yo simply can’t keep a surprise which is very funny
“Dada told me not to tell you what he got you for Christmas. Oh, ok, I’ll tell you”
“Dada told me not to tell you what he got you for Christmas. Oh, ok, I’ll tell you”
Reposted by Lauren
Step on a crack, make your mom throw it back
December 14, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Step on a crack, make your mom throw it back
Reposted by Lauren
he also kind of gets everyone's asses again in this follow up with the washington post
December 17, 2025 at 7:36 PM
he also kind of gets everyone's asses again in this follow up with the washington post
Screen time is still higher than I’d like it to be but it’s nice to see my highest used app being messages. At least I’m texting my friends
December 23, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Screen time is still higher than I’d like it to be but it’s nice to see my highest used app being messages. At least I’m texting my friends
I let the kids have a box of permanent markers to decorate salt dough ornaments as Xmas gifts for family.
Could’ve been messier tbh though at one point 2yo was shouting at me “I NEED TO COLOR MY NECK BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS” which feels like a Tim Robinson bit
Could’ve been messier tbh though at one point 2yo was shouting at me “I NEED TO COLOR MY NECK BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS” which feels like a Tim Robinson bit
December 23, 2025 at 2:57 PM
I let the kids have a box of permanent markers to decorate salt dough ornaments as Xmas gifts for family.
Could’ve been messier tbh though at one point 2yo was shouting at me “I NEED TO COLOR MY NECK BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS” which feels like a Tim Robinson bit
Could’ve been messier tbh though at one point 2yo was shouting at me “I NEED TO COLOR MY NECK BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS” which feels like a Tim Robinson bit
Reposted by Lauren
Christian Clothing CEO: You finish that sweatshirt about saving as many souls as possible?
Christian Clothing Designer: Sure did, boss. Real fuckin’ ominous and with an implied threat of mass murder, just like you asked.
Christian Clothing CEO: What.
Christian Clothing Designer: Sure did, boss. Real fuckin’ ominous and with an implied threat of mass murder, just like you asked.
Christian Clothing CEO: What.
December 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Christian Clothing CEO: You finish that sweatshirt about saving as many souls as possible?
Christian Clothing Designer: Sure did, boss. Real fuckin’ ominous and with an implied threat of mass murder, just like you asked.
Christian Clothing CEO: What.
Christian Clothing Designer: Sure did, boss. Real fuckin’ ominous and with an implied threat of mass murder, just like you asked.
Christian Clothing CEO: What.
Sometimes people say “wow you’re in the trenches rn” about having a few small kids and I usually think “nah I have a cushy life I just like to complain” but that all goes out the window when a stomach bug is in play. I’m literally at war
December 20, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Sometimes people say “wow you’re in the trenches rn” about having a few small kids and I usually think “nah I have a cushy life I just like to complain” but that all goes out the window when a stomach bug is in play. I’m literally at war
I really love our town I never want to leave
December 20, 2025 at 2:44 PM
I really love our town I never want to leave
Would be a really tremendous couples costume
December 18, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Would be a really tremendous couples costume
Step on a crack, make your mom throw it back
December 14, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Step on a crack, make your mom throw it back
Reposted by Lauren
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
December 11, 2025 at 7:57 PM
I’m a single issue voter and my issue is that those busses that bend in the middle should make accordion noises
Reposted by Lauren
Original watercolor illustration for Tomie dePaola’s The Lady of Guadalupe, at the Marian Library at the University of Dayton, Ohio.
December 12, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Original watercolor illustration for Tomie dePaola’s The Lady of Guadalupe, at the Marian Library at the University of Dayton, Ohio.
Genuinely disturbing
IN DEPTH | If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
If you could speak to your dead grandmother forever, would you?
www.independent.co.uk
December 10, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Genuinely disturbing
Freak 4yo didn’t like pot roast w carrots and potatoes
But had multiple helpings of salad w arugula, apple, Gorgonzola, pine nuts ?????
But had multiple helpings of salad w arugula, apple, Gorgonzola, pine nuts ?????
December 9, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Freak 4yo didn’t like pot roast w carrots and potatoes
But had multiple helpings of salad w arugula, apple, Gorgonzola, pine nuts ?????
But had multiple helpings of salad w arugula, apple, Gorgonzola, pine nuts ?????
2yo is into Cinderella lately and calls him “prince charmy”
December 8, 2025 at 2:48 PM
2yo is into Cinderella lately and calls him “prince charmy”
Reposted by Lauren
Telling people "if you speak up while you're with your child, you're putting them at risk" is just a naked threat to hurt your children if you don't shut up.
December 6, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Telling people "if you speak up while you're with your child, you're putting them at risk" is just a naked threat to hurt your children if you don't shut up.
The kids watch Scooby doo mostly for their screen time which is cool but they will sometimes try to make conversation with people by talking about the headless horseman
December 5, 2025 at 8:24 PM
The kids watch Scooby doo mostly for their screen time which is cool but they will sometimes try to make conversation with people by talking about the headless horseman