6 year-old me: ROAST HIM
Reptile Handler At Birthday Party Ruthlessly Heckled By 6-Year-Old For Showing Amphibian https://theonion.com/reptile-handler-at-birthday-party-ruthlessly-heckled-by-6-year-old-for-showing-amphibian/
February 4, 2026 at 1:20 AM
6 year-old me: ROAST HIM
How are kids supposed to watch Price is Right if they have remote learning days instead of snow days??
January 30, 2026 at 3:30 AM
How are kids supposed to watch Price is Right if they have remote learning days instead of snow days??
I endorse the hiring of anyone, for any job, named Jim Bob Cooter
Report: Eagles request to interview Jim Bob Cooter for open offensive coordinator job
www.phillyvoice.com/report-eagle...
www.phillyvoice.com/report-eagle...
Report: Eagles request to interview Jim Bob Cooter for open offensive coordinator job
The Philadelphia Eagles have requested to interview Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator Jim Bob Cooter for their open offensive coordinator job.
www.phillyvoice.com
January 18, 2026 at 6:24 PM
I endorse the hiring of anyone, for any job, named Jim Bob Cooter
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie
January 7, 2026 at 2:08 AM
every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie
Just won $5,000 on an in-game parley!
1. Globetrotters win
2. Slam dunks, 25 (over)
3. Player hangs upside down from rim, 5 (over)
4. Referee atomic wedgies, 0.5 (over)
1. Globetrotters win
2. Slam dunks, 25 (over)
3. Player hangs upside down from rim, 5 (over)
4. Referee atomic wedgies, 0.5 (over)
December 26, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Just won $5,000 on an in-game parley!
1. Globetrotters win
2. Slam dunks, 25 (over)
3. Player hangs upside down from rim, 5 (over)
4. Referee atomic wedgies, 0.5 (over)
1. Globetrotters win
2. Slam dunks, 25 (over)
3. Player hangs upside down from rim, 5 (over)
4. Referee atomic wedgies, 0.5 (over)
They're calling the N64 THE Christmas gift of 2025:
Physical media
Cannot connect to the internet
Does not ask for money
Physical media
Cannot connect to the internet
Does not ask for money
December 25, 2025 at 1:44 PM
They're calling the N64 THE Christmas gift of 2025:
Physical media
Cannot connect to the internet
Does not ask for money
Physical media
Cannot connect to the internet
Does not ask for money
"Ho, ho, ho, children! Here’s that crack you ordered in your stocking!"
six months ago Reader’s Digest asked if they could purchase the publishing rights for this elaborate shitpost I wrote a year ago now wherein I pretended to be the elf equivalent of David Brooks at the North Pole. Thought it was maybe a phishing scam but it’s real LMAOO
December 24, 2025 at 11:47 PM
"Ho, ho, ho, children! Here’s that crack you ordered in your stocking!"
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
if I were Scrooge, Jacob Marley showing up in chains would have been all it took. message received, thank you Jake, I will give Bob Cratchit a raise
December 24, 2025 at 5:54 PM
if I were Scrooge, Jacob Marley showing up in chains would have been all it took. message received, thank you Jake, I will give Bob Cratchit a raise
As the kids say
December 22, 2025 at 10:34 PM
As the kids say
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
Broken Windows Theory but for gingerbread houses
December 20, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Broken Windows Theory but for gingerbread houses
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
the best argument against cord-cutting — the one i would use if i were trying to market a cable company — is that streaming has yet to replicate the wonder of “stumbling across the last 30 minutes of My Cousin Vinny before bedtime”
December 11, 2025 at 4:04 AM
the best argument against cord-cutting — the one i would use if i were trying to market a cable company — is that streaming has yet to replicate the wonder of “stumbling across the last 30 minutes of My Cousin Vinny before bedtime”
SHOW JERRY JONES YOU COWARDS
November 23, 2025 at 10:32 PM
SHOW JERRY JONES YOU COWARDS
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
November 14, 2025 at 4:06 AM
getting a text in the middle of the night and it's just my loathsome vizier saying "Your enemies lie in wait, my lord!!" what am I supposed to do with that. its four in the morning
PA politicos will recall a direct line between this tendency, and the current makeup of the PA Supreme Court.
www.cbsnews.com/news/pennsyl...
www.cbsnews.com/news/pennsyl...
November 12, 2025 at 6:16 PM
PA politicos will recall a direct line between this tendency, and the current makeup of the PA Supreme Court.
www.cbsnews.com/news/pennsyl...
www.cbsnews.com/news/pennsyl...
You could spend an entire career and $1 billion to uncover a more perfect situation for the tush push, and you'd fail.
Watching back the 4th and 2 gun run and good gawd look how quickly the entire Philly DL wins
November 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
You could spend an entire career and $1 billion to uncover a more perfect situation for the tush push, and you'd fail.
As a communications professional and completely unrelated to my support for the Eagles, my advice is to Keep Doing This
Jerry Jones on SiriusXM:
"The Cowboys probably have the kind of interest that we have in no small part because we stay out front and we stay controversial. When it gets slow, I stir that shit up. Fact. I just want to be relevant. I just want you to be looking at us."
via Jon Machota
"The Cowboys probably have the kind of interest that we have in no small part because we stay out front and we stay controversial. When it gets slow, I stir that shit up. Fact. I just want to be relevant. I just want you to be looking at us."
via Jon Machota
November 4, 2025 at 12:14 AM
As a communications professional and completely unrelated to my support for the Eagles, my advice is to Keep Doing This
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
November 2, 2025 at 3:35 AM
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
WORLD SERIES SHRIMP WATCH
South ain't gonna rise again on our watch
October 31, 2025 at 10:10 PM
South ain't gonna rise again on our watch
THE VIBES ARE GOOD AGAIN
Comeback? Eagles great Brandon Graham is mulling coming out of retirement, per me and Mike Garafolo, and the veteran edge could return for a 16th season.
Graham retired after the Super Bowl, but with his old team in need of pass-rush help, he might return as soon as this week.
Graham retired after the Super Bowl, but with his old team in need of pass-rush help, he might return as soon as this week.
October 19, 2025 at 5:08 PM
THE VIBES ARE GOOD AGAIN
They need to give the Nobel Prize to whoever invented this thing
October 14, 2025 at 6:01 PM
They need to give the Nobel Prize to whoever invented this thing
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
Nothing better than watching sports and getting a new battle to read about this week. Being a 40+ dad rules.
October 14, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Nothing better than watching sports and getting a new battle to read about this week. Being a 40+ dad rules.
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit
September 26, 2025 at 12:40 PM
[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit
Reposted by Keegan Gibson
Witnessed a ribbon cutting at a new rest stop in OH. I wasn't sure what was going on since it was packed. I asked a guy at the door if I could enter. A short old man, some official, emerged from the crowd and hobbled forward, arms outstretched, and said "Yes! Come in! Come in and use the bathroom!"
August 21, 2025 at 11:39 AM
Witnessed a ribbon cutting at a new rest stop in OH. I wasn't sure what was going on since it was packed. I asked a guy at the door if I could enter. A short old man, some official, emerged from the crowd and hobbled forward, arms outstretched, and said "Yes! Come in! Come in and use the bathroom!"
