Jon
@jonperri.bsky.social
I have eaten sand four times in my life.
I got kicked out of karaoke for singing jingles. The crowd couldn’t handle my enthusiasm for my local credit union.
February 7, 2026 at 4:04 AM
I got kicked out of karaoke for singing jingles. The crowd couldn’t handle my enthusiasm for my local credit union.
Romaine Street would make a fantastic name for a vegan restaurant.
February 5, 2026 at 3:06 AM
Romaine Street would make a fantastic name for a vegan restaurant.
Live, laugh, loaded nachos.
January 25, 2026 at 5:18 AM
Live, laugh, loaded nachos.
I minced garlic back in April and I can still smell it on my fingers.
January 19, 2026 at 4:28 AM
I minced garlic back in April and I can still smell it on my fingers.
The pictures of people selling mirrors on Facebook Marketplace is just top tier entertainment.
January 12, 2026 at 4:34 AM
The pictures of people selling mirrors on Facebook Marketplace is just top tier entertainment.
Should I:
A) go to bed like an adult
B) open that bag of Cheetos in my pantry that has been haunting me since Tuesday
C) B
A) go to bed like an adult
B) open that bag of Cheetos in my pantry that has been haunting me since Tuesday
C) B
January 10, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Should I:
A) go to bed like an adult
B) open that bag of Cheetos in my pantry that has been haunting me since Tuesday
C) B
A) go to bed like an adult
B) open that bag of Cheetos in my pantry that has been haunting me since Tuesday
C) B
Biblically accurate charcuterie board
December 31, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Biblically accurate charcuterie board
Billy Peltzer’s mom was a stone cold killer in Gremlins (1984)
December 25, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Billy Peltzer’s mom was a stone cold killer in Gremlins (1984)
Three word love story:
It’s taco Tuesday!
It’s taco Tuesday!
Three word love story:
you wanted this
you wanted this
A three word love story:
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
December 18, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Three word love story:
It’s taco Tuesday!
It’s taco Tuesday!
My cats love trying to gaslight me into giving them extra treats. Guys, we just went through this song and dance.
December 16, 2025 at 2:04 AM
My cats love trying to gaslight me into giving them extra treats. Guys, we just went through this song and dance.
Can you deduct snacks on your tax returns?
December 14, 2025 at 4:50 AM
Can you deduct snacks on your tax returns?
Pasta should be a currency
December 5, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Pasta should be a currency
Real Eyes
Realize
Five Guys®
Realize
Five Guys®
December 3, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Real Eyes
Realize
Five Guys®
Realize
Five Guys®
It should be illegal to eat dinner at 2:30pm
November 28, 2025 at 2:40 AM
It should be illegal to eat dinner at 2:30pm
I’m thinking about eating a battery just to feel something
November 24, 2025 at 3:36 AM
I’m thinking about eating a battery just to feel something
Reposted by Jon
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow
November 18, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow
I’m proud to announce that “My Cousin Vinny, Too” will finally be coming to a theater near you!
November 5, 2025 at 11:28 PM
I’m proud to announce that “My Cousin Vinny, Too” will finally be coming to a theater near you!
Reposted by Jon
Reposted by Jon
They taught a squirrel to waterski and you’re questioning the existence of angels
October 20, 2025 at 11:50 AM
They taught a squirrel to waterski and you’re questioning the existence of angels
Sitcom about a cartoon pug who lied on his resume and is now a cadaver dog.
October 3, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Sitcom about a cartoon pug who lied on his resume and is now a cadaver dog.
No matter what they tell you, it’s still not illegal to eat denim.
October 3, 2025 at 2:01 AM
No matter what they tell you, it’s still not illegal to eat denim.
Reposted by Jon
Sept 30 vs Oct 1
October 1, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Sept 30 vs Oct 1
Reposted by Jon
Under my administration we captured 3 gray aliens and 2 green
September 30, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Under my administration we captured 3 gray aliens and 2 green