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@bran.land
Cría cuervos y te sacarán los ojos.

they/them
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bran @bran.land · Sep 15
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I contain multitudes

Oh

Oh shit

My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
November 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
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Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 1:04 PM
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I hate when my frantic attempts to change my fate ironically lead to the same outcome prophesied by the soothsayer
October 30, 2023 at 6:48 PM
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Death Cab for Cutie is on the oldies station, please do not touch me or I will crumble to dust
November 25, 2025 at 10:09 PM
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Repeat after me: Rust is a machine that turns security incidents into downtime incidents
November 24, 2025 at 6:12 PM
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they're adding a fifth loko
November 25, 2025 at 12:03 AM
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Dream on, Sluggo
November 23, 2025 at 4:25 AM
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this is how you lose the dish war
November 22, 2025 at 4:22 PM
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Kavanaugh stop. Smashed the kid’s car windows and arrested him. He told them he was a U.S. citizen. The officer replied “I don’t care.”

www.oregonlive.com/portland/202...
High school senior, a U.S. citizen, detained by ICE in Oregon
The 17-year-old was held more than five hours Friday in an ICE facility, his brother said.
www.oregonlive.com
November 23, 2025 at 12:34 AM
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A video from inside a Border Patrol vehicle shows agents chasing a US citizen for filming them. The citizen refused to get out when they illegally ordered him to stop. The agents say: "This is great." "This is fun." "He's going to get shot."
November 22, 2025 at 9:58 PM
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buddy, they won't even let me decrypt the results
November 22, 2025 at 2:09 AM
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Cryptographers Held an Election. They Can’t Decrypt the Results.
www.nytimes.com
November 22, 2025 at 2:07 AM
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8675309 is prime, and so is 8675311, so if you ever need a middlin'-large pair of adjacent primes to test your cryptographic suite, all you need is a 1980s earworm and a +2 and you're all set.
Man, everything is so bleak, anyone got a fun fact or little bit of trivia they want to share
November 21, 2025 at 3:28 AM
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I made a joke in my main Discord server about DOOM E1M1 being in a major key and @abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com actually made it. Jesus fucking Christ listen to this hahahaha
November 14, 2025 at 1:47 PM
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remember this "case" began with DHS press person claiming that multiple vehicles had ambushed and cornered CBP agents in a scene reminiscent of Baghdad 2007
November 20, 2025 at 3:59 PM
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mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one
November 18, 2025 at 1:10 PM
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November 16, 2025 at 4:19 PM
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‘Father’ and ‘dad’ are synonyms.

‘Figure’ and ‘bod’ are synonyms.

But, a ‘father figure’ and a ‘dad bod’ aren’t exactly the same thing…
November 14, 2025 at 3:09 PM
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I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke

history is a fucking joke lmao
November 13, 2025 at 10:50 PM
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"This woke Me-Too bullshit has gone too far," said the former Harvard President and Secretary of the U.S. Treasury to the billionaire pedophile sex trafficker in a private email that the Justice Department under both parties kept secret for years
November 13, 2025 at 1:46 AM
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Always thinking about my friend who told me "getting in trouble is a fake concept" right before he got in a lot of trouble
November 13, 2025 at 12:07 AM
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November 12, 2025 at 3:00 AM
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"babies are born worshipping unknown gods" is one of the most incredible dwarf fortress bugs i have heard of. its poetry.
November 11, 2025 at 4:18 PM
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November 10, 2025 at 5:00 PM