zellish
@zellishrows.bsky.social
Here for the laughs not the misery.
Bit of a twat.
Blueskying since 2023. Talking shit since 1974.
Bit of a twat.
Blueskying since 2023. Talking shit since 1974.
Pinned
zellish
@zellishrows.bsky.social
· Jan 28
Omg. My trainee at work just sent an email to a client called Angus but accidentally missed the G out. It won’t recall.
I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes now and I’m still crying.
‘Thanks Anus’.
I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes now and I’m still crying.
‘Thanks Anus’.
I can’t tell anyone what I was almost named because they actually did it. My name is so unique I don’t share it on socials because then weirdos could find me irl. 😬
February 11, 2026 at 12:33 PM
I can’t tell anyone what I was almost named because they actually did it. My name is so unique I don’t share it on socials because then weirdos could find me irl. 😬
Reposted by zellish
I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.
February 10, 2026 at 6:10 AM
I tried to take a photo of a grasshopper on my windshield, but now it looks like a gigantic bug destroying the town.
Reposted by zellish
Both my parents have been deaf from birth. When we were kids my brother and I hated it when they hoovered because we couldn't hear the TV so we used to unplug the hoover while they used it. It always took a long time for them to realise as the floor was clean anyway.
February 9, 2026 at 1:20 PM
Both my parents have been deaf from birth. When we were kids my brother and I hated it when they hoovered because we couldn't hear the TV so we used to unplug the hoover while they used it. It always took a long time for them to realise as the floor was clean anyway.
Do I read for an hour or wake up tired in the morning?
Read it is then.
Read it is then.
February 9, 2026 at 10:06 PM
Do I read for an hour or wake up tired in the morning?
Read it is then.
Read it is then.
I’m a great cook but I despise it. To me it’s akin to doing the ironing.
I find cooking boring and am easily distracted. Last week I put mint sauce rather than pesto on some pasta. Two weeks ago it was gravy browning rather than Worcestershire sauce on some cheese on toast. Neither of these were particularly successful culinary innovations.
February 9, 2026 at 11:37 AM
I’m a great cook but I despise it. To me it’s akin to doing the ironing.
Reposted by zellish
Reposted by zellish
Kid Rock makes music for divorced men who have the names of their kids tattooed but not custody of them
Kid Rock makes music for people who know the age of consent in all 50 states, but none of the capitals.
February 9, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Kid Rock makes music for divorced men who have the names of their kids tattooed but not custody of them
Reposted by zellish
i just saw someone say "Kid Rock makes music for the people who have tattoos of their kids but not custody" and hol up i need a minute
February 9, 2026 at 4:22 AM
i just saw someone say "Kid Rock makes music for the people who have tattoos of their kids but not custody" and hol up i need a minute
On the periphery where no one notices me is exactly where I want to be. I ran a successful account on the other place for a while and it was hard work. A lot of fun, but it takes dedication.
February 9, 2026 at 9:01 AM
On the periphery where no one notices me is exactly where I want to be. I ran a successful account on the other place for a while and it was hard work. A lot of fun, but it takes dedication.
As someone who works in this industry, this looks like a credit issue to me. Credit failed due to unpaid invoices, and then investors pull out.
February 8, 2026 at 9:43 AM
As someone who works in this industry, this looks like a credit issue to me. Credit failed due to unpaid invoices, and then investors pull out.
Reposted by zellish
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
February 6, 2026 at 6:37 PM
subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz353bs
Reposted by zellish
And so to a bookseller’s in the Strand, and there bought Hudibras again, it being certainly some ill humour to be so against that which all the world cries up to be the example of wit; for which I am resolved once again to read him, and see whether I can find it or no.
February 6, 2026 at 11:55 AM
And so to a bookseller’s in the Strand, and there bought Hudibras again, it being certainly some ill humour to be so against that which all the world cries up to be the example of wit; for which I am resolved once again to read him, and see whether I can find it or no.
Reposted by zellish
Relax, bread department
February 6, 2026 at 1:16 AM
Relax, bread department
Reposted by zellish
Reposted by zellish
Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again.
#Pinks #ProudBlue
#Pinks #ProudBlue
February 5, 2026 at 11:50 AM
Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again.
#Pinks #ProudBlue
#Pinks #ProudBlue
I have the laziest work colleague in the world. She’s far from being a team player, does nothing to help my workload, and just makes snuffle noises all day.
February 5, 2026 at 7:49 AM
I have the laziest work colleague in the world. She’s far from being a team player, does nothing to help my workload, and just makes snuffle noises all day.
I find I really don’t care about most things other people seem to spend a lot of their energy on.
February 5, 2026 at 6:28 AM
I find I really don’t care about most things other people seem to spend a lot of their energy on.
Guys, where has Ax gone?
February 4, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Guys, where has Ax gone?
Reposted by zellish
Good to see that someone's ready for vampire season.
February 4, 2026 at 8:38 AM
Good to see that someone's ready for vampire season.
Reposted by zellish
Kemi Badenoch is trying to argue the appointment of Mandelson as US ambassador harmed international relations between the US and UK, in the light of his Epstein connections.
Which…given the US President was Epstein's "best friend" for a decade or more, feels like a swing and a miss.
Which…given the US President was Epstein's "best friend" for a decade or more, feels like a swing and a miss.
February 4, 2026 at 12:17 PM
Kemi Badenoch is trying to argue the appointment of Mandelson as US ambassador harmed international relations between the US and UK, in the light of his Epstein connections.
Which…given the US President was Epstein's "best friend" for a decade or more, feels like a swing and a miss.
Which…given the US President was Epstein's "best friend" for a decade or more, feels like a swing and a miss.
February 4, 2026 at 8:23 AM
Reposted by zellish
I can't forget the drunk (or high) man in Leeds yesterday, wandering to and fro across the road wearing socks and sellotaped shoes, gesturing broadly to the world, and calling "TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!" which instantly made him more relatable and less frightening.
February 4, 2026 at 8:01 AM
I can't forget the drunk (or high) man in Leeds yesterday, wandering to and fro across the road wearing socks and sellotaped shoes, gesturing broadly to the world, and calling "TEN POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!" which instantly made him more relatable and less frightening.
Off to try new specs on today. This is a trial for me ‘cause the only ones that suit me I wouldn’t be seen dead in.
February 1, 2026 at 8:45 AM
Off to try new specs on today. This is a trial for me ‘cause the only ones that suit me I wouldn’t be seen dead in.
Reposted by zellish
The research of Dr. Gladys West, who died Jan. 17 at 95, laid the groundwork for the GPS.
Thanks in part to her, anyone with a smartphone can navigate easily from one place to the next, without having to stop to ask for directions.
Thanks in part to her, anyone with a smartphone can navigate easily from one place to the next, without having to stop to ask for directions.
Mathematician Gladys West dies at 95. She was a hidden figure behind GPS.
Without the mathematical model that she helped refine, “the extraordinary positioning, navigation, and timing accuracy of GPS would be impossible to achieve.”
www.washingtonpost.com
January 31, 2026 at 8:30 PM
The research of Dr. Gladys West, who died Jan. 17 at 95, laid the groundwork for the GPS.
Thanks in part to her, anyone with a smartphone can navigate easily from one place to the next, without having to stop to ask for directions.
Thanks in part to her, anyone with a smartphone can navigate easily from one place to the next, without having to stop to ask for directions.