zellish
@zellishrows.bsky.social
Here for the laughs not the misery.
Might bang on a bit about folk racing bikes.
Blueskying since 2023. Talking shit since 1974.
Might bang on a bit about folk racing bikes.
Blueskying since 2023. Talking shit since 1974.
Pinned
zellish
@zellishrows.bsky.social
· Jan 28
Omg. My trainee at work just sent an email to a client called Angus but accidentally missed the G out. It won’t recall.
I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes now and I’m still crying.
‘Thanks Anus’.
I can’t stop laughing. Ten minutes now and I’m still crying.
‘Thanks Anus’.
Reposted by zellish
Good morning Bluesky.
November 26, 2025 at 6:01 AM
Good morning Bluesky.
Again, eggs are graded on weight, not size. A large egg just weighs more.
And large eggs come from older birds, so if you want to slaughter them younger, buy medium eggs, like the fuckwitt says.
And large eggs come from older birds, so if you want to slaughter them younger, buy medium eggs, like the fuckwitt says.
Medium size eggs are perfectly fine. Buying large eggs doesn't give you noticeably more egg, it just encourages selective breeding that hurts the hens.
November 25, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Again, eggs are graded on weight, not size. A large egg just weighs more.
And large eggs come from older birds, so if you want to slaughter them younger, buy medium eggs, like the fuckwitt says.
And large eggs come from older birds, so if you want to slaughter them younger, buy medium eggs, like the fuckwitt says.
Reposted by zellish
This is Teena. She has heard your cotton ball jokes and is not impressed. 12/10 (IG: bichon_punta)
November 24, 2025 at 8:07 PM
This is Teena. She has heard your cotton ball jokes and is not impressed. 12/10 (IG: bichon_punta)
Reposted by zellish
A personal nightmare: someone discovers my typo 338 years later.
November 19, 2025 at 8:43 PM
A personal nightmare: someone discovers my typo 338 years later.
Reposted by zellish
Here are my top 10 Labrador Retrievers of all time!
November 19, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Here are my top 10 Labrador Retrievers of all time!
Reposted by zellish
We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.
#PoliceSquad
#PoliceSquad
October 26, 2025 at 12:59 AM
We're sorry to bother you at a time like this, Mrs Twice. We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn't dead then.
#PoliceSquad
#PoliceSquad
Reposted by zellish
Mick is one of the best humans, actors and writers I have ever known and he deserves all the help you can give him! www.gofundme.com/f/xy992z-kee...
Donate to Tracheostomy Support For Michael, organized by Conal Maguire
Hello everybody,
We are Michael’s mates. We love Michael.
Michael has Motor Neu… Conal Maguire needs your support for Tracheostomy Support For Michael
www.gofundme.com
November 18, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Mick is one of the best humans, actors and writers I have ever known and he deserves all the help you can give him! www.gofundme.com/f/xy992z-kee...
Does this mean they’re not as good as Hot Tips?
November 18, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Does this mean they’re not as good as Hot Tips?
If there is a God and any of you speak to him, can you tell him I said ‘thanks’ for dogs?
November 18, 2025 at 5:24 PM
If there is a God and any of you speak to him, can you tell him I said ‘thanks’ for dogs?
Reposted by zellish
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
'We invited a homeless man for dinner - he stayed for 45 years'
The man was only meant to stay for a day.
metro.co.uk
November 18, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I thought this was going to turn into a story needing its own True Crime Netflix series, but no.
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
This is quite something.
metro.co.uk/2025/11/18/w...
Reposted by zellish
Woman’s just walked into this charity shop with a basket of Christmas greenery to donate, saying loudly to her companion “well not when your son-in-law’s a paedophile”
November 18, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Woman’s just walked into this charity shop with a basket of Christmas greenery to donate, saying loudly to her companion “well not when your son-in-law’s a paedophile”
Reposted by zellish
An armada of clouds hovers above the insomniac sea. A kettle speaks to an unmoved kitchen. Leaves finally carry out their threats of suicide. Direct Debits leap from your bank. A milkman is heartbroken by a letter from a postman. One side of your bed remains pristine.
It is Monday, it is Monday.
It is Monday, it is Monday.
November 17, 2025 at 7:17 AM
An armada of clouds hovers above the insomniac sea. A kettle speaks to an unmoved kitchen. Leaves finally carry out their threats of suicide. Direct Debits leap from your bank. A milkman is heartbroken by a letter from a postman. One side of your bed remains pristine.
It is Monday, it is Monday.
It is Monday, it is Monday.
Reposted by zellish
Reposted by zellish
I love mashups and this is one of the best. I like my sugar with coffee and cream
youtu.be/wPIm1NnmVCc?...
youtu.be/wPIm1NnmVCc?...
Beastie Boys - Intergalactic But It's Ghostbusters by Ray Parker Jr.
YouTube video by William Maranci Mashups
youtu.be
November 16, 2025 at 1:35 AM
I love mashups and this is one of the best. I like my sugar with coffee and cream
youtu.be/wPIm1NnmVCc?...
youtu.be/wPIm1NnmVCc?...
Reposted by zellish
The photos are a delight; the captions, delicious.
THREAD. A collection of photographs of excellent cattle I have met on walks.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
You will find the captions to each photo in the alt text.
November 15, 2025 at 9:12 AM
The photos are a delight; the captions, delicious.
Reposted by zellish
If you see this post a bird
November 14, 2025 at 6:21 AM
If you see this post a bird
Reposted by zellish
I bet Tindersticks would be at home here.
November 10, 2025 at 5:04 AM
I bet Tindersticks would be at home here.
This is why Horrible Histories was so brilliant.
I was an irritating little shit who badgered our history teacher mercilessly for details of how the Groom of the Stool would clean the king's ring piece. Enough of the class was interesting in hearing about it that actually she went to the uni library to research details.
November 11, 2025 at 7:28 AM
This is why Horrible Histories was so brilliant.
Reposted by zellish
"Hello, yes? Yes, it is an emergency. I've accidentally..."
November 10, 2025 at 2:14 PM
"Hello, yes? Yes, it is an emergency. I've accidentally..."
Reposted by zellish
Gary Lineker: "This is the mistake the BBC makes. The BBC tries to appease the people that hate the BBC, rather than worrying about the people that love the BBC."
April 22, 2025 at 7:35 AM
Gary Lineker: "This is the mistake the BBC makes. The BBC tries to appease the people that hate the BBC, rather than worrying about the people that love the BBC."
Reposted by zellish
Good morning and happy Sunday 🐴 🥰
November 9, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Good morning and happy Sunday 🐴 🥰
Reposted by zellish
From the past. A look back to on this day 10th November with our farmily of farm animals & friends
November 10, 2025 at 7:15 AM
From the past. A look back to on this day 10th November with our farmily of farm animals & friends
Reposted by zellish
Seems like this car's been on this hill forever.
November 9, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Seems like this car's been on this hill forever.
Reposted by zellish
This just made me laugh :)
November 9, 2025 at 3:29 AM
This just made me laugh :)