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turbl.es
t u r b l e s
@turbl.es
330 followers 250 following 6K posts
Keep all your potatoes in one room in a big fuck-off pile.

CowboyandCricket.com

Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/4cq4p

Greatest hits: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7lahu62iykvd5bits4ho6csy/feed/aaaoxnv5gh3ja
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turbl.es
t u r b l e s @turbl.es · Feb 13
interviewer: can you explain the gap on your resume?

me: oh it's like a store for preppy 20 year olds
turbl.es
I really want some chips and queso
January 26, 2026 at 9:49 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
nikitagill.bsky.social
This hit so fucking hard today.
CHARLES RAFFERTY The Problem with Early Warnings People don't like to leave a party unless the house is actually on fire. Even then, if the flames are far enough away to be pretty, they'll finish their drink, take one more pass at the hors d'oeuvres. How things happen has always been unclear. Hurricanes begin in a place where no one lives. Agents of the government start to wear masks. Fascism is a word my neighbors won't use yet. They are following the law, they say, and the sirens are coming for someone else.
January 26, 2026 at 8:52 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
rtodkelly.bsky.social
Now I want to know which CNN reporter or producer doesn't know the word "sycophant."
January 26, 2026 at 7:26 PM
turbl.es
January 26, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
dynamicsymmetry.bsky.social
It’s cliché by now but I do come back to it: if you wrote this in fiction people would roll their eyes and tell you to be less hamfisted
January 26, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
leyawn.bsky.social
according to bluesky, working for ice is a protected class against discrimination lol
email from bluesky Hi, We've reviewed a Post on your account @leyawn.bsky.social and found it violates Bluesky's Community Guidelines on Anti-Discrimination. We protect people's fundamental rights by prohibiting identity-based harm and hatred. For example: Do not attack, harass, or incite hatred or discrimination against individuals or groups based on protected characteristics such as age, asylum-seeker/refugee status, caste, disability, disease, ethnicity, gender identity, immigrant status, race, religious affiliation, sex, or sexual orientation. This includes hate speech, slurs, dehumanizing comparisons, supremacist content, conspiracy theories targeting protected groups, and coordinated harassment campaigns. The following Post was removed: imagine showing up to your office job and there's a crowd of people in the lobby heckling you every morning. "no one likes your emails" "your tie is ugly" lol. anyways i think everyone who works for ice should kill themselves Your post was classified as a Moderate Violation, adding 2 strikes to your account. You now have 2 total strikes. If you believe this action was taken in error, you can appeal within 14 days by emailing moderation@blueskyweb.xyz. Please include context about why you believe this decision was incorrect. Bluesky Moderation Team
January 26, 2026 at 5:58 PM
turbl.es
I wasn’t feeling so excited about bugonia but then I saw someone on TikTok say it was a soft disclosure and man a conspiracy theory that nutty is exactly enough of a push
January 26, 2026 at 5:43 PM
turbl.es
January 26, 2026 at 5:22 PM
turbl.es
Translation: it’s cheaper for the airlines and the DoT to settle lawsuits than pay for safety and security upkeep.

You soul is worth a specific amount of money.
January 26, 2026 at 5:21 PM
turbl.es
Really glad I bought the Ketchup amiibo token back in 2020 so I never have to go without the best villager on my island
January 26, 2026 at 4:43 PM
turbl.es
@asterionhex.monster hog cranker is back!!!!!!
January 26, 2026 at 3:37 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social
I will admit these photos do make it seem like I kicked the baby offstage
January 26, 2026 at 3:23 PM
turbl.es
I would genuinely love this please come scam me it costs $300 to have an adult rake my leaves
mcsweeneys.net McSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 1d
"I’m only asking for thirty bucks. Is that a scam or a steal? Hey, that’s for you to decide. I’m just an unlicensed, nonprofessional youngster with an inadequate shovel, a mom who says she doesn’t want me sitting around inside all day, and a dream."
I’m the Neighbor Kid Offering to Shovel Your Walkway Because I Know You Can’t Say No
Hello, it’s me, your selectively friendly neighborhood preteen, here to solicit some soft-earned pocket money. I’m either Jaden, Jalen, or Jason. Y...
buff.ly
January 26, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
theonion.com
Man Struggling To Pierce Orange Peel With Fingernail Under Impression He Could Kill If He Had To https://theonion.com/man-struggling-to-pierce-orange-peel-with-fingernail-un-1819579648/
Man Struggling To Pierce Orange Peel With Fingernail Under Impression He Could Kill If He Had To
January 26, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
seamas.bsky.social
Can confirm that being a journalist is occasionally very sick indeed.
The greatest email exhange I've ever been party to in my life. In which I ask the question "Do you think horses used in films know that they are in a film? The reply is Dear Seamas O'Reilly, my answer to your question is: no Best, Werner Herzog
January 26, 2026 at 9:34 AM
turbl.es
@solarchromatic.bsky.social testing
January 26, 2026 at 2:16 PM
turbl.es
People are willing to die for this which is more than any American has been in a long time and it’s horrible and beautiful and terrifying
vituperativeerb.bsky.social Vituperative Erb @vituperativeerb.bsky.social · 1d
I do think that a possibly underrated dynamic in The Horrors is that the Right as it has reconstituted itself under Trump legitimately can’t understand sincere moral or physical courage
January 26, 2026 at 2:52 AM
turbl.es
That guy who is doing the “how you do fellow kids” about the democrat signal chat has a reply history where he’s equally slavering for ids on men getting skewered by huge dongs
January 26, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
lostcitymagic.bsky.social
Your Cherokee words for today.
The top word is English followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled in English then how to pronounce it phonetically.
Image is line paper with writing showing an English word followed by how it is written in the Cherokee language followed by how it is spelled and pronounced. The words are impeach, abolish and defund and pronounced ahdahnoogaw-weestee deeyawheestee ahlay oosaysuh-huh-kee
January 25, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
omiosures.bsky.social
"Birth of the Homunculus"

A sorceress astounded by her creation.

This painting has been floating around in my head for months now, and I only found the right time to bring it to fruition yesterday!

(see thread for details + process shot-by-shot)
A sorceress astounded by her freshly sculpted homunculus. A single shaft of light illuminates her creation. Bounce lighting reflects upon the sorceress. The homunculus has a flaccid butt. The maker's hands are covered in fresh clay. They are the only body parts of the sorceress that are directly lit. Faint, residual purple smoke wisps from her fingertips: the homunculus stands in an awkward pose, that of a creature freshly adjusting to its body. The homunculus has thin limbs and a hefty torso, though it is faced against the viewer. The sorceress's workshop is littered in sculpting tools, brushes, an open tome of transmutation, ceramic bowls and a pitcher of dirty clay water in which lie a few of these tools. Clay shavings are scattered about the floor. A red, runic circle surrounds the humonculus. In the dark background it is possible to catch a few failed prototypes on a shelf.
December 4, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
jamieeb.bsky.social
it’s that time again
Dave Matthews apology form to apologize to Dave Matthews for your misguided dislike of Dave Matthews
January 25, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
nashishereforit.bsky.social
Fuck you.
I won’t do what you tell me.

Stay till the end.
January 25, 2026 at 6:16 AM
turbl.es
Don’t worry I’ve been on the internet for 30 years I have only been Like This on Public for half of that
January 25, 2026 at 8:44 PM
turbl.es
#LRP 15 years on the internet my brand remains impeccable
January 25, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Reposted by t u r b l e s
sporks.bsky.social
my husband woke me up with these news today and then like a few minutes later I was like. Wait. How did you learn about this subreddit and he was like "Turbles" and I was like "bless you @turbl.es ILU" and fell back asleep
miasato.bsky.social Mia Sato @miasato.bsky.social · 1d
I'm not going to post screenshots for obvious reasons but I have been alerted that a bunch of the top posts in r/MassiveCock are anti-ICE now and anyone who defends ICE in comments is getting yelled down lol
January 25, 2026 at 8:19 PM