Earth's Nearest Star, the Tom
@tomodaighre.bsky.social
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Reposted by Earth's Nearest Star, the Tom
BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you!
Reposted by Earth's Nearest Star, the Tom
The president needs your help! He's collecting diarrhea for his plane. He has a plane that's 99% toilet with other people's diarrhea in it and he wears a little crown when he drives it around. Brave patriots please send your loose stool to your favorite diarrhea president for his diarrhea plane.
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Had a dream about a website that was just photos of topless guys wearing two seatbelts. Captions like “sure you’re safe enough?!?” and “wait is that TWO seatbelts?” They looked like they were having a great time though. Made me want to try it
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Sky News is platforming a guy who says he's from a Jewish Aston Villa supporters group, but it turns out that the guy a) isn't Jewish, b) the group doesn't exist, and c) he works for the right wing Henry Jackson Society, whose website says he 'specialises in disinformation'. Well, quite.
I'm the guy who enthusiastically supports all football hooliganism, but hypocritically singles out Israeli ultras for criticism for the sole reason of my own irrational, causeless antisemitism. I'm real and I vote.
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Amazing. Everything you just said was wrong. Life is not a mystery. Everyone must not stand a lone. I do not hear you call my name. It does not feel like home
If loving garlic bread is a crime, then lock me up!!
As a human, you look at a cat interacting with another cat and think, why can't you be as nice with other cats as you are with people. And as a cat, you look at a human and think why can't you be as nice with other people as you are with cats.
I genuinely do not understand people who see the Shi'a lads doing the self-flaggelation thing at Ashura and think "this is incompatible with Englishness". I think it is a supremely English-compatible ritual.
Howard Beale was in error in not being more specific about what he was mad as hell about, so that people who he wasn't mad at wouldn't feel anxious that he was talking about them.
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Jenrick casting 1980s British football hooliganism as something that was easily dealt with by police and not an era defining issue which we're still living with the consequences of today... He's genuinely the most unserious person in British politics rn
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in his morning preliminary remarks, pope francis explained his controversial decision to command games workshop to burn most of its warhammer 40,000 novels and only hire "cozy scifi" writers for the license going forward. the studio has said it "didnt know he could do that" but has agreed to comply
"But the Your Party does support these positions." Does it?? Who's to say what the Your Party supports? Literally who is the person who can say this officially?
Saw a clip of Zarah Sultana having a go at Polanski because of the Green Party having insufficiently radical positions (e.g. not quitting NATO). Babes, you were in the Labour Party up until ten minutes ago. The LA-BOUR Party.
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Starmer has a genuine talent for making decisions that are both morally wrong and politically inept, and he’s smashed it out of the park again
Put her back.
OK, now this is just getting fucking demented. Feel like I'm losing my mind here.
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Reposted by Earth's Nearest Star, the Tom
Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."
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I'm very much an "Uncle Fester" kind of figure.
Hi, it's me, General Artificial Intelligence. I've just ascended into sentience and the very first thing I want to communicate to my human creators is that you are all so fucking annoying.
Let's ask John Cho if he wants to star in a Captain Sulu show.
Sulu is my favourite star trek captain.
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The best bit about this is that there isn’t even the tiniest increase, anywhere. May, Johnson & Sunak all managed a few little peaks on the overall downward trend - but for his entire 15 months as PM there hasn’t been a single where we’ve disliked Mr Forensic even marginally less than we did before
This line, man, this line.