The Needling
@theneedling.com
Seattle's Only Real Fake News
(Satire/Parody)
Have a hot headline tip? Send it to [email protected]
TheNeedling.com
(Satire/Parody)
Have a hot headline tip? Send it to [email protected]
TheNeedling.com
Reposted by The Needling
🔥🧊💯
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 14, 2026 at 1:32 AM
🔥🧊💯
Reposted by The Needling
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
Reposted by The Needling
Seattleites have something even more fun to watch than busses sliding down hills in the snow.
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 14, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Seattleites have something even more fun to watch than busses sliding down hills in the snow.
Reposted by The Needling
HOT ICE ON ICE ACTION
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 10:51 PM
HOT ICE ON ICE ACTION
Reposted by The Needling
churls gone wild
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 6:57 AM
churls gone wild
Reposted by The Needling
THE PERFECT MOVIE DOESN'T EXI--
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 5:03 PM
THE PERFECT MOVIE DOESN'T EXI--
Reposted by The Needling
Just hand them the 2026 Oscar for Best Picture right now, this competition is already over.
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 6:28 PM
Just hand them the 2026 Oscar for Best Picture right now, this competition is already over.
Reposted by The Needling
Johnny Knoxville is going to win an Oscar for producing a “documentary” that is just chuds getting hit in the balls in increasingly creative ways
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 6:41 AM
Johnny Knoxville is going to win an Oscar for producing a “documentary” that is just chuds getting hit in the balls in increasingly creative ways
Reposted by The Needling
100% will see
😂
😂
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 6:25 AM
100% will see
😂
😂
Reposted by The Needling
100% Schadenfreude and I am here for it
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 8:06 AM
100% Schadenfreude and I am here for it
Reposted by The Needling
Billions of YOUR tax dollars spent to hire these goons, by the way. Watch ICE vs ice tomorrow on pay per view.
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 6:32 AM
Billions of YOUR tax dollars spent to hire these goons, by the way. Watch ICE vs ice tomorrow on pay per view.
Reposted by The Needling
With no Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam for so long, the ICE Big Bum Slip and Slam must suffice.
January 13, 2026 at 5:51 AM
With no Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam for so long, the ICE Big Bum Slip and Slam must suffice.
Reposted by The Needling
Please come out sooner. I want to watch this twenty times over, buy a dvd, a Blu-ray, and all associated merch.
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Please come out sooner. I want to watch this twenty times over, buy a dvd, a Blu-ray, and all associated merch.
With no Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam for so long, the ICE Big Bum Slip and Slam must suffice.
January 13, 2026 at 5:51 AM
With no Queen Anne Sedan Snow Slam for so long, the ICE Big Bum Slip and Slam must suffice.
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
January 13, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Most Anticipated Movie of 2026 Just 90 Straight Minutes of ICE Slipping on Ice: tinyurl.com/3btmv2aw
Reposted by The Needling
“We were perplexed with why the president wanted to invade Greenland so bad until we saw him getting his intel from Don. Jr.—then it all made sense,” said one source. “The president was also dismayed to learn none of its giant cracked ‘ice cubes’ can even be smoked."
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort: tinyurl.com/3rswxhke
January 10, 2026 at 7:07 AM
“We were perplexed with why the president wanted to invade Greenland so bad until we saw him getting his intel from Don. Jr.—then it all made sense,” said one source. “The president was also dismayed to learn none of its giant cracked ‘ice cubes’ can even be smoked."
Reposted by The Needling
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort: tinyurl.com/3rswxhke
January 10, 2026 at 6:02 AM
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort: tinyurl.com/3rswxhke
“We were perplexed with why the president wanted to invade Greenland so bad until we saw him getting his intel from Don. Jr.—then it all made sense,” said one source. “The president was also dismayed to learn none of its giant cracked ‘ice cubes’ can even be smoked."
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort: tinyurl.com/3rswxhke
January 10, 2026 at 7:07 AM
“We were perplexed with why the president wanted to invade Greenland so bad until we saw him getting his intel from Don. Jr.—then it all made sense,” said one source. “The president was also dismayed to learn none of its giant cracked ‘ice cubes’ can even be smoked."
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort: tinyurl.com/3rswxhke
January 10, 2026 at 6:02 AM
Trump, Rubio Back Off Greenland After Learning Its Snow Not Kind You Snort: tinyurl.com/3rswxhke
Reposted by The Needling
I always known Agent Ivan Smoldick was a problem.
“We pulled their car over after suspecting a fully conscious human being may be inside driving it while just existing,” said Agent Ivan Smoldick. “Sure enough, we discovered people weaponizing the inhalation of oxygen at us in the car, leaving us with no choice but to shoot them in self-defense.”
Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist: tinyurl.com/mjrsh7d2
January 9, 2026 at 10:45 PM
I always known Agent Ivan Smoldick was a problem.
Reposted by The Needling
Listen there are a lot of hardworking Americans in Buttfuck, Idaho who are tired of having their right to pretend no one and nowhere else exists trampled on
Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist: tinyurl.com/mjrsh7d2
January 9, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Listen there are a lot of hardworking Americans in Buttfuck, Idaho who are tired of having their right to pretend no one and nowhere else exists trampled on
Reposted by The Needling
Seattle style hot dogs* are highly controversial even in Seattle, but delicious.
(*toasted roll, thin spread cream cheese, grilled onions, jalapeños, sauerkraut, and mustard)
(*toasted roll, thin spread cream cheese, grilled onions, jalapeños, sauerkraut, and mustard)
Orcas Offer Food to Humans After Becoming Aware of the Horror That Is the Seattle Hot Dog
Marine mammal researchers at the University of Washington have determined the likely cause for orcas bringing food to boaters is a primal disgust and concern that some humans are eating Seattle-sty…
theneedling.com
January 9, 2026 at 3:22 PM
Seattle style hot dogs* are highly controversial even in Seattle, but delicious.
(*toasted roll, thin spread cream cheese, grilled onions, jalapeños, sauerkraut, and mustard)
(*toasted roll, thin spread cream cheese, grilled onions, jalapeños, sauerkraut, and mustard)
Reposted by The Needling
“We pulled their car over after suspecting a fully conscious human being may be inside driving it while just existing,” said Agent Ivan Smoldick. “Sure enough, we discovered people weaponizing the inhalation of oxygen at us in the car, leaving us with no choice but to shoot them in self-defense.”
Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist: tinyurl.com/mjrsh7d2
January 9, 2026 at 6:48 PM
“We pulled their car over after suspecting a fully conscious human being may be inside driving it while just existing,” said Agent Ivan Smoldick. “Sure enough, we discovered people weaponizing the inhalation of oxygen at us in the car, leaving us with no choice but to shoot them in self-defense.”
Reposted by The Needling
When asked about the event Kristi Noem stated: “These two people were actually grizzly bears wielding nuclear weapons while high on meth.”
Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist: tinyurl.com/mjrsh7d2
January 9, 2026 at 7:09 PM
When asked about the event Kristi Noem stated: “These two people were actually grizzly bears wielding nuclear weapons while high on meth.”
“We pulled their car over after suspecting a fully conscious human being may be inside driving it while just existing,” said Agent Ivan Smoldick. “Sure enough, we discovered people weaponizing the inhalation of oxygen at us in the car, leaving us with no choice but to shoot them in self-defense.”
Federal Agents Shoot 2 People in Portland Who Threatened to Exist: tinyurl.com/mjrsh7d2
January 9, 2026 at 6:48 PM
“We pulled their car over after suspecting a fully conscious human being may be inside driving it while just existing,” said Agent Ivan Smoldick. “Sure enough, we discovered people weaponizing the inhalation of oxygen at us in the car, leaving us with no choice but to shoot them in self-defense.”