The Sweaty Gardener
@sweatygardener.bsky.social
I say things that are not to everyone's taste and I pick my nose
Pinned
Janet Jackson basically looks like Michael Jackson with a pair of tits.
Which I imagine would be really confusing.
You'd be banging away at her and she be like HEEE HEEEE, OW!
And then once you've cum, she just moonwalks tf outta there.
Which I imagine would be really confusing.
You'd be banging away at her and she be like HEEE HEEEE, OW!
And then once you've cum, she just moonwalks tf outta there.
November 27, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Janet Jackson basically looks like Michael Jackson with a pair of tits.
Which I imagine would be really confusing.
You'd be banging away at her and she be like HEEE HEEEE, OW!
And then once you've cum, she just moonwalks tf outta there.
Which I imagine would be really confusing.
You'd be banging away at her and she be like HEEE HEEEE, OW!
And then once you've cum, she just moonwalks tf outta there.
So is everyone eating turkey?
The bird, not the country.
The bird, not the country.
November 27, 2025 at 10:33 PM
So is everyone eating turkey?
The bird, not the country.
The bird, not the country.
A man called George just followed me.
George has multiple pictures of his dick, posted almost daily, on his profile.
I will not be following George.
George has multiple pictures of his dick, posted almost daily, on his profile.
I will not be following George.
November 27, 2025 at 9:24 PM
A man called George just followed me.
George has multiple pictures of his dick, posted almost daily, on his profile.
I will not be following George.
George has multiple pictures of his dick, posted almost daily, on his profile.
I will not be following George.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
November 26, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Carpenters are only in it for them shelves.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
I just ate pizza in bed like the classy bitch that I am.
November 26, 2025 at 5:12 PM
I just ate pizza in bed like the classy bitch that I am.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
It’s shit faced Sunday, BITCHES
November 23, 2025 at 6:24 PM
It’s shit faced Sunday, BITCHES
[awkward first date]
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
November 19, 2025 at 11:09 PM
[awkward first date]
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
So do you enjoy going for a poo?
I've not seen a woman with big tits since I visited that oversized bird sanctuary.
November 19, 2025 at 11:01 PM
I've not seen a woman with big tits since I visited that oversized bird sanctuary.
A woman gave birth at the cinema tonight whilst watching the new Bruce Springsteen movie.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
November 19, 2025 at 10:55 PM
A woman gave birth at the cinema tonight whilst watching the new Bruce Springsteen movie.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
He was....born in the UK, he was born in the...ok that does not work.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
When he’s not your type…
but you love him anyway.
but you love him anyway.
November 18, 2025 at 7:41 AM
When he’s not your type…
but you love him anyway.
but you love him anyway.
It's cold in England today and my balls are lacking adequate insulation.
November 18, 2025 at 7:52 AM
It's cold in England today and my balls are lacking adequate insulation.
I've put my finger in worse
November 17, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I've put my finger in worse
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Anxena: Worrier Princess
November 17, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Anxena: Worrier Princess
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
“fuck it like it owes you money”
Monday
Monday
November 17, 2025 at 2:32 PM
“fuck it like it owes you money”
Monday
Monday
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Ooo America you in trouble girl
October 28, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Ooo America you in trouble girl
I asked Chat GPT what I should consider as a new career and it said "slut" so I'm hopeful for the future.
November 16, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I asked Chat GPT what I should consider as a new career and it said "slut" so I'm hopeful for the future.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
This year, I’m bringing a wrestling mat as a side dish to my family's Thanksgiving.
November 15, 2025 at 11:29 PM
This year, I’m bringing a wrestling mat as a side dish to my family's Thanksgiving.
I asked Chat GPT how I could cut down masturbating and it told me to get fucked
November 13, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I asked Chat GPT how I could cut down masturbating and it told me to get fucked
I ask the real questions, like
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
November 13, 2025 at 10:01 PM
I ask the real questions, like
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
WTF?
WTAF?
and
Why does your mother keep sexually harassing me?
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
imagine hating me and im just over here getting baked trying to make the internet smile again
November 13, 2025 at 5:57 AM
imagine hating me and im just over here getting baked trying to make the internet smile again
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
the irony of ridiculousness still being on.
November 13, 2025 at 11:10 AM
the irony of ridiculousness still being on.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Autocorrect typed “pervert” instead of “perfect” on WhatsApp to my chiropractor… so tomorrow’s appointment is going to be interesting.
November 13, 2025 at 10:25 AM
Autocorrect typed “pervert” instead of “perfect” on WhatsApp to my chiropractor… so tomorrow’s appointment is going to be interesting.
Don't mean to brag but I'm taller than Tom Cruise
November 13, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Don't mean to brag but I'm taller than Tom Cruise
Looking at pictures of women in the 80s and wondering why they all looked like Brian May with tits.
November 13, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Looking at pictures of women in the 80s and wondering why they all looked like Brian May with tits.
Reposted by The Sweaty Gardener
Started drinking water out of a wine glass and now I smash my daily goal like some sort of reverse Jesus effect.
November 13, 2025 at 7:26 AM
Started drinking water out of a wine glass and now I smash my daily goal like some sort of reverse Jesus effect.