J.B. Wheatley
@somethingshiny.bsky.social
180 followers 790 following 13 posts
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
somethingshiny.bsky.social
Ok, then it definitely keeps the portal to Hell sealed. Don't turn it off.
somethingshiny.bsky.social
Do you have a furnace? Could be the emergency power switch. We couldn't figure out why our furnace wasn't working. Fastest house call that repair guy ever made...
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
ianboudreau.com
Went and got myself a wee double espresso
blurry photo of a cat falling off a table
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
petridishes.bsky.social
on the one hand I should absolutely put my phone down but on the other hand what if the forces attacking democracy operate on weeping angels logic
somethingshiny.bsky.social
The daily struggle.
scalzi.com
Do I need a new prescription for my computer glasses or do I just need to clean them with a microfiber cloth
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
thorbenson.bsky.social
Feels like the whole world is pulling a Leeroy Jenkins these days
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
helenkennedy.bsky.social
How I Know I Am Now Ancient: I am more excited about Olivia Coleman as Mrs Bennett than I am about Jack Lowden as Darcy.
DEADLINE

Emma Corrin, Jack Lowden & Olivia Colman Set For Leading Roles In Netflix's 'Pride & Prejudice' Limited
Series
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
petersagal.bsky.social
My feed is increasingly looking like the pre-credit montage of headlines in a post apocalyptic action movie.
somethingshiny.bsky.social
📌 for kid book recommendations.
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
sadmonsters.bsky.social
Would bone broth be more or less popular if it was called skeleton soup?
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
riotgrlerin.bsky.social
for every 50 likes i’ll photoshop betty white into movies she wasn’t really in.
somethingshiny.bsky.social
Yay! Wil's here!
wilwheaton.net
You only get one chance to make your first post when you join a social network. It should be something memorable, something that's important to you, something that actually says SOMETHING.

So obviously I'm using mine to tell @annewheaton.bsky.social that I love her to the moon and back, 1000 times.
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
rozhki.bsky.social
NEORSD is the Sesame Street of Bluesky. Please call their line below, have a good cry and leave a voicemail for their employees and for your soul. Happy Holidays y'all!
neorsd.org
i can't with these voicemails, people.

your words for me and more importantly for our entire team of employees mean so much. i can't wait to share your kindness and gratitude with them—and with all of you.

your ears and your voice are still welcome here, all holiday season long:

216-361-6772.
neorsd.org
it's not a hotline. it's a hopeline.

216-361-6772.
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
kimmymonte.bsky.social
if the earth is so flat explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. you can’t.
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social
Give her what she really wants this holiday season. Death to the patriarchy, bodily autonomy, and real pockets in every dress and pair of pants.
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
jilltwiss.bsky.social
"Going to an Ugly Sweater Party?" is the seasonal "When's the baby due?" DON'T ASK UNLESS YOU ARE ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT SURE
somethingshiny.bsky.social
Oh FFS. Well, off to play Mario Kart to train for Formula 1...
Reposted by J.B. Wheatley
fergil.bsky.social
Optimist: the cup is half full

Pessimist: the cup is half empty

Tolkien: but they were all deceived, for another cup was made.
chuckwendig.bsky.social
Optimist: the cup is half full

Pessimist: the cup is half empty

Charles Dickens: It was the best of cups, it was the worst of cups, it was the cup of wisdom, it was the cup of foolishness, it was the mug of Light, it was the beer stein of Darkness
scalzi.com
Optimist: The cup is half full

Pessimist: The cup is half empty

Science Fiction Writer: The cup is a crystalline super computer and the liquid is hyperintelligent, they want to know why humanity should be allowed to exist, you have 30 minutes to respond and the answer must be danced by a cat
somethingshiny.bsky.social
We met when I was a speaker manager for O'Reilly Media and you spoke at a conference,oh so many years ago.
somethingshiny.bsky.social
Oh my goodness. I'm so thrilled you're here! 🐷 I missed you after I left the bad place.