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Sloane Veronica

@sloaneliest.com

41 followers 64 following 300 posts

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Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · Sep 19

I finally get it: They're called "Bowling for Soup" because soup comes in a bowl. The mysteries of our dark universe revealed to me.

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Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 12h

The thimble was the best Monopoly piece. I'm a feminist.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Bits are over. The bubble burst, they're not coming back.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

This is a poster economy, riffs are at an all time low.

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Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Woman who robs a cosmetic store but instead of money she demands the staff tell her in immense detail what she's doing right with her makeup.

Reposted by Sloane Veronica

orcus @goblin.news · 2d

it might be legal to sand down carrots but I can’t pretend it’s honorable

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Reposted by Sloane Veronica

Crab Man @crabman.bsky.social · 2d

There should be a bug that has a weird head

Zach Weinersmith @zachweinersmith.bsky.social · 5d

Do you have any extremely niche, but serious, ethical stances?

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Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

May your bangers languish and your flops pop off.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

It was bad enough that he was already French.

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Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Speak softly and carry a big stick of butter to put a hot knife through.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Like a big stick through a soft-spoken duck's back.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Any of these doing it for you?

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Softly, softly catchee big stick.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Big Stick in Little Softly.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Speak softly and we'll burn that big stick after we cross it.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

"Speak softly and eat a big stick."
—Teddy Roosevelt if he was a porcupine.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Speak softly and install thick walls.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

"Speak softly."
—Big Library

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Speak softly and swing your fat horse cock around.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Speak softly and implant big breasts.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Big chest, flat heart.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

On the street they call it Red 40. Dealers are spiking everything with it to get kids hooked. One second you're enjoying a box of Twizzlers at the matinee, then suddenly you're climbing to the top of the jungle gym, bones vibrating as you throw rocks at Cindy Lou—and you don't even know why.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 2d

If you're still getting sexually aroused—or as some of you drooling illiterates prefer to call it, "horny"—in your 30s, you have a thyroid disorder caused by over consumption of heavy metals.

Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 3d

It's alright.

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Sloane Veronica @sloaneliest.com · 3d

I fuck with pussy heavy.