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Scissors

@rningscissors.bsky.social

9.4K followers 3K following 36K posts

nurse, patient, goober i eat window cheese & popsicles while trying to learn tech stuff something probably made me cry today because animals exist pfp: @moxiest.art

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 20d

Basically, this is the experience you are subscribing to when you follow me:

VivicorpCEO @vivicorpceo.bsky.social · 20d

"chili's baby bath ribs"

I thought it now you have to read it

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 7h

Devour Your Nice Things
Burn the fancy candle.
Wear the special-occasion dress.
Pop the good bottle.
Scribble hurry slowly on the first page
of your leather-bound notebook.
Gorge on your pearls,
your cashmere, your silks.
Use the high-end eyeshadow
until the silver pan winks back.
Baptize your wrists in Baccarat Rouge,
a little extra for the collar.
Devour your nice things—
don't let the best go cold on your plate.
The anticipation of living is empty calories
and you were meant to be full.
Elise M Powers

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 8h

I’m tired of this bit

I’ll let you know if and when it happens

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 7d

doing my sunday over-planning

maybe this week i’ll figure out my life

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 14d

this week I have to figure out how to pay bills, so that leaves very little time for figuring out my life

maybe next week

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 16h

🥰

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 16h

[mumbling while entering the instructions for the taper] “I got ya taper right here”

…when you were TOTALLY RIGHT lol

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 16h

Ah, yes. Ye olde passive aggressive order update

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 20h

Good news: I slept all night & I’m pain free (as long as I’m still)

Bad news: my arm doesn’t really work lol

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

I just did something weird to my shoulder that, by morning, will either be totally fine or will require surgery. Who’s to know?

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

I’ll take them. Thank you

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

Thank you!

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

You taunt me!!!

(Back in the day, I’d load up for stuff like this, but now I take a daily RX NSAID so I can’t take it anymore 😭)

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

🫡

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

yeah, I like threesomes*

*getting in bed with an icepack on my shoulder and heating pad on my hip

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

Ok, but there should be a left and a right

Adopt a Pet @adoptapet.bsky.social · 1d

Get ready to fall in love with every wag of, Sketchers, located in Gladstone, MO.

Learn more: https://www.petfinder.com/dog/sketchers-77911760/mo/gladstone/city-of-gladstone-animal-control-mo154/

Sketchers is a Pit Bull Terrier mix dog, available for adoption in Gladstone, MO.

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

It’s totally a thing

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

yeah, I like threesomes*

*getting in bed with an icepack on my shoulder and heating pad on my hip

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

but that’s my self diagnosis

pretty sure i’ve created my own shrapnel in there

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

Asking chat gpt how to tell if I have a loose body in my shoulder

(I’m not)

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

I just did something weird to my shoulder that, by morning, will either be totally fine or will require surgery. Who’s to know?

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t like this

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

I hope this doesn’t interfere with my soup-making plans for tomorrow

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

[posting this so I have documentation of the time of injury if that becomes relevant]

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

I just did something weird to my shoulder that, by morning, will either be totally fine or will require surgery. Who’s to know?

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

MODS!!! MODS!!!!!!!!!

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

picking a fight with me 😤

Basically jambalaya
Basically gumbo
Basically étouffée

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Reposted by Scissors

ouinne @ouinne.bsky.social · 1d

The enemy tried to test that man but you were there as an angel to deliver him, praise the seraphs of Food City. ❤️

youtube.com/shorts/Ka5n7...

And somewhere, there’s another woman saying the enemy took her pineapple 🙏💒

YouTube video by Andi Marie Tillman

youtube.com

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

This is hilarious 😆

He was *so* exasperated and I was literally about to cry, so it was the distraction I needed. I think we trauma bonded. LOL

Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

And the answer to his question is

YES, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE

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Scissors @rningscissors.bsky.social · 1d

me: sir? It’s not this brand, but they have some on the other end of the aisle on the opposite side

man: WHERE? CAN YOU SHOW THEM TO ME?

[i completely abandon my cart and lead him to the lima beans in a specialty food section, for some reason]

man: Thank you! You have saved my whole weekend.

🥲

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