[//] Professor Hazard
@prof.hazardlabs.com
Pinned
Twitter may be naught but a half-buried Ozymandian visage nowadays, but it did allow me to reclaim a bunch of fan art that I had posted over there that was lost when my hard drive died over the summer. Here's a thread of them in no particular order:
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Instead of relying on wealthy donors, congressional candidate @katmabu.bsky.social is using a Twitch stream to raise money – and fight a federal indictment
aftermath.site/kat-abughaza...
aftermath.site/kat-abughaza...
December 4, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Instead of relying on wealthy donors, congressional candidate @katmabu.bsky.social is using a Twitch stream to raise money – and fight a federal indictment
aftermath.site/kat-abughaza...
aftermath.site/kat-abughaza...
by the way I played twenty questions with Google Gemini one time and it wasn't very good at it and was chugging sometimes so I probably caused the ice shelves to collapse, sorry about that
December 4, 2025 at 8:52 AM
by the way I played twenty questions with Google Gemini one time and it wasn't very good at it and was chugging sometimes so I probably caused the ice shelves to collapse, sorry about that
dropping $70 on #MetroidPrime4Beyond not because it looks groundbreaking, not because it is the end result of an insane amount of development time, not because I even enjoy Metroid Prime games, but because Samus Aran is a queen and she deserves everything, including a chance at more #Metroid games
December 2, 2025 at 8:00 PM
dropping $70 on #MetroidPrime4Beyond not because it looks groundbreaking, not because it is the end result of an insane amount of development time, not because I even enjoy Metroid Prime games, but because Samus Aran is a queen and she deserves everything, including a chance at more #Metroid games
🧠 ALL DAY: they're gonna start coming for critics and dissenters and I have made some pretty exacting statements about who in this administration should be torn apart by wild dogs that are not going to look too good
🧠 AT NIGHT (ON DRUGS): [single piece of paper with "gary pissmas" written on it]
🧠 AT NIGHT (ON DRUGS): [single piece of paper with "gary pissmas" written on it]
December 2, 2025 at 6:24 AM
🧠 ALL DAY: they're gonna start coming for critics and dissenters and I have made some pretty exacting statements about who in this administration should be torn apart by wild dogs that are not going to look too good
🧠 AT NIGHT (ON DRUGS): [single piece of paper with "gary pissmas" written on it]
🧠 AT NIGHT (ON DRUGS): [single piece of paper with "gary pissmas" written on it]
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
this is going to be a fucking shitshow, lmao
Costco sues the Trump administration, seeking a refund of tariffs
The wholesaler is the latest company to file a lawsuit against a federal agency over the president's signature economic policy.
www.nbcnews.com
December 1, 2025 at 11:22 PM
this is going to be a fucking shitshow, lmao
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Take the Dwemer Bowls, Lydia. Yes all 79. What do you mean “then what,” then we sell them, then we go back for the cups. And one day you’ll be a Thane and you can have YOUR housecarl return every dwarven bowl to every dwarven ruin and I HOPE you never feel pressured to defend that activity
December 2, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Take the Dwemer Bowls, Lydia. Yes all 79. What do you mean “then what,” then we sell them, then we go back for the cups. And one day you’ll be a Thane and you can have YOUR housecarl return every dwarven bowl to every dwarven ruin and I HOPE you never feel pressured to defend that activity
December 2, 2025 at 12:46 AM
every time I see someone defend the new usage of "decimate" because they wanted a more bombastic word than "destroy" or "devastate"
Hoo-wee, I got me this brand-new word down at the five and dime!
Hoo-wee, I got me this brand-new word down at the five and dime!
December 1, 2025 at 3:42 PM
every time I see someone defend the new usage of "decimate" because they wanted a more bombastic word than "destroy" or "devastate"
Hoo-wee, I got me this brand-new word down at the five and dime!
Hoo-wee, I got me this brand-new word down at the five and dime!
Anybody else getting inundated by followers without any post engagement? My notifications are pointless now because it's just a nonstop stream of follows.
[HISSING THROUGH TEETH] but your follows mean nothing to me if you do not hit the Likey button and validate me, fools! wait I don't have teeth
[HISSING THROUGH TEETH] but your follows mean nothing to me if you do not hit the Likey button and validate me, fools! wait I don't have teeth
December 1, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Anybody else getting inundated by followers without any post engagement? My notifications are pointless now because it's just a nonstop stream of follows.
[HISSING THROUGH TEETH] but your follows mean nothing to me if you do not hit the Likey button and validate me, fools! wait I don't have teeth
[HISSING THROUGH TEETH] but your follows mean nothing to me if you do not hit the Likey button and validate me, fools! wait I don't have teeth
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
(Black and white footage of a woman holding a casserole slipping and falling in her kitchen comically)
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
July 28, 2025 at 6:43 PM
(Black and white footage of a woman holding a casserole slipping and falling in her kitchen comically)
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
Are you tired of slipping on the lubricative fluid of the eel, of which you were unaware of its presence?
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
A reminder this holiday season and always
November 30, 2025 at 6:41 PM
A reminder this holiday season and always
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
It's maddening that it's considered smart politics to meekly mumble these idiotic slogans in response to being called Socialist instead of saying "Yeah asshole it's good when people have enough to live on and it's bad when billionaire sociopaths abuse us all"
November 30, 2025 at 4:06 PM
It's maddening that it's considered smart politics to meekly mumble these idiotic slogans in response to being called Socialist instead of saying "Yeah asshole it's good when people have enough to live on and it's bad when billionaire sociopaths abuse us all"
Playing the correct number of video games when I'm standing in shallow water in Lumiose City and I think "If I switch to Calamo, I can use his electric attack combo!" #Nintendo #Pokémon #PokémonLegendsZ-A #HyruleWarriors
November 29, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Playing the correct number of video games when I'm standing in shallow water in Lumiose City and I think "If I switch to Calamo, I can use his electric attack combo!" #Nintendo #Pokémon #PokémonLegendsZ-A #HyruleWarriors
Is there a subgenre of artist where you have to actively beg your friends to in any way react to your work, or is that just artist
November 29, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Is there a subgenre of artist where you have to actively beg your friends to in any way react to your work, or is that just artist
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Every GUI should have an "I'm autistic" button that just gets rid of all the BS and makes it look like Craigslist.
November 28, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Every GUI should have an "I'm autistic" button that just gets rid of all the BS and makes it look like Craigslist.
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Here's a note I sent to our members about what we did with their money, and why we expect the Onion to outgrow the Washington Post.
We keep doing weird, hard shit — taunting ICE, yelling at Congress for not taunting ICE, buying bad websites — when nobody else does.
Our members keep getting papers.
We keep doing weird, hard shit — taunting ICE, yelling at Congress for not taunting ICE, buying bad websites — when nobody else does.
Our members keep getting papers.
November 28, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Here's a note I sent to our members about what we did with their money, and why we expect the Onion to outgrow the Washington Post.
We keep doing weird, hard shit — taunting ICE, yelling at Congress for not taunting ICE, buying bad websites — when nobody else does.
Our members keep getting papers.
We keep doing weird, hard shit — taunting ICE, yelling at Congress for not taunting ICE, buying bad websites — when nobody else does.
Our members keep getting papers.
Stop badgering Trump about Epstein. He doesn't give a shit about that. You're not "pressuring" him, you're applying pressure to a garbage bag full of pudding. Start doing things like asking about why Stephen Miller is in charge, why Trump is Stephen's puppet, why Trump is afraid of Miller.
November 28, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Stop badgering Trump about Epstein. He doesn't give a shit about that. You're not "pressuring" him, you're applying pressure to a garbage bag full of pudding. Start doing things like asking about why Stephen Miller is in charge, why Trump is Stephen's puppet, why Trump is afraid of Miller.
This and the Spamton Sweepstakes are the only holidays I celebrate
Cards Against Humanity's 99% Off Sale: Part II
It's Black Friday, and we're selling a dazzling array of items for 99% off.
www.99percentoffsale.com
November 28, 2025 at 8:07 PM
This and the Spamton Sweepstakes are the only holidays I celebrate
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
somebody said post malone so OK
November 28, 2025 at 2:06 AM
somebody said post malone so OK
Chinese buffet bananas in red sauce burps are the best burps
November 27, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Chinese buffet bananas in red sauce burps are the best burps
@glidus.bsky.social I haven't watched the new video yet but I'm going to assume the reason there is corn in Westeros is because two sparrows carried an ear of corn on a line between them across the ocean from Americos much as one might do with a coconut
November 27, 2025 at 6:49 PM
@glidus.bsky.social I haven't watched the new video yet but I'm going to assume the reason there is corn in Westeros is because two sparrows carried an ear of corn on a line between them across the ocean from Americos much as one might do with a coconut
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Reposted by [//] Professor Hazard
Elmer Fudd is in bed with a beautiful woman, but she's sad. She says she feels all alone in the world. Elmer says, "The treatment is simple. The great bunny Bugs is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." And the woman bursts into tears. Says, "But Elmer...I am Bugs Bunny."
October 22, 2023 at 9:19 AM
Elmer Fudd is in bed with a beautiful woman, but she's sad. She says she feels all alone in the world. Elmer says, "The treatment is simple. The great bunny Bugs is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." And the woman bursts into tears. Says, "But Elmer...I am Bugs Bunny."