JosephScrimshaw
@josephscrimshaw.bsky.social
Filmmaker, writer, comedian, other nouns. A frozen pizza + a martini = a gourmet meal (he/him)
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We had a fantastic response to our celebratory premiere of our horror film DEAD MEDIA in Minneapolis. Now we're working on getting the film out to the world. If you want to get updates on screenings, streaming, physical media, you can join our mailing list here: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...
I feel Small Business Saturday should have a name as cool as Black Friday or Cyber Monday.
Anyway, here’s my comedy albums and cosmic horror stories for Underdog Uprising Weekend: josephscrimshaw.bandcamp.com
Anyway, here’s my comedy albums and cosmic horror stories for Underdog Uprising Weekend: josephscrimshaw.bandcamp.com
November 29, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I feel Small Business Saturday should have a name as cool as Black Friday or Cyber Monday.
Anyway, here’s my comedy albums and cosmic horror stories for Underdog Uprising Weekend: josephscrimshaw.bandcamp.com
Anyway, here’s my comedy albums and cosmic horror stories for Underdog Uprising Weekend: josephscrimshaw.bandcamp.com
Reposted by JosephScrimshaw
It's that magical time of the year we remember corporations could be charging us a lot less for things while still remaining profitable.
November 28, 2025 at 6:02 PM
It's that magical time of the year we remember corporations could be charging us a lot less for things while still remaining profitable.
“It’s winter! The time has changed! Admit it!” screams the lonely tree with changing leaves in sunny Los Angeles
November 29, 2025 at 1:36 AM
“It’s winter! The time has changed! Admit it!” screams the lonely tree with changing leaves in sunny Los Angeles
Excited to watch my favorite heartwarming holiday special:
Get A Load Of Our Big Bonkers BOGO Black Friday Deals Before It’s Too Late, Charlie Brown
Get A Load Of Our Big Bonkers BOGO Black Friday Deals Before It’s Too Late, Charlie Brown
November 28, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Excited to watch my favorite heartwarming holiday special:
Get A Load Of Our Big Bonkers BOGO Black Friday Deals Before It’s Too Late, Charlie Brown
Get A Load Of Our Big Bonkers BOGO Black Friday Deals Before It’s Too Late, Charlie Brown
Controversial Opinion: All brunches should be a face
November 28, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Controversial Opinion: All brunches should be a face
Rounding out our Thanksgiving celebration with some painfully relevant American storytelling from 1941
November 28, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Rounding out our Thanksgiving celebration with some painfully relevant American storytelling from 1941
I’m thankful for many things this year: My wife, family, friends, supporters of my creative adventures, and this neighbor I do not know who left their skeleton up until Thanksgiving. The skeleton looks like it’s describing how large of a turkey they’d like. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving
November 28, 2025 at 1:14 AM
I’m thankful for many things this year: My wife, family, friends, supporters of my creative adventures, and this neighbor I do not know who left their skeleton up until Thanksgiving. The skeleton looks like it’s describing how large of a turkey they’d like. Anyway, happy Thanksgiving
My best wishes to anyone hiding in a bathroom winning an argument with relatives in your head
November 27, 2025 at 10:04 PM
My best wishes to anyone hiding in a bathroom winning an argument with relatives in your head
“…blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes...the Devil's eyes…”
November 27, 2025 at 7:42 PM
“…blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes...the Devil's eyes…”
This guy just got done torturing James Bond
November 27, 2025 at 7:15 PM
This guy just got done torturing James Bond
The Macy’s Parade is a real fun game of aging pop star meets random float. Anyway, here’s Sir Mix-A-Lot on the Squid Game float and Chris Isaak belting it out for Trivago
November 27, 2025 at 6:51 PM
The Macy’s Parade is a real fun game of aging pop star meets random float. Anyway, here’s Sir Mix-A-Lot on the Squid Game float and Chris Isaak belting it out for Trivago
Smokey The Bear avoiding eye contact like he hopes no one notices he’s in the parade
November 27, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Smokey The Bear avoiding eye contact like he hopes no one notices he’s in the parade
Extremely cruel to make Mario chase power-up stars he can never catch
November 27, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Extremely cruel to make Mario chase power-up stars he can never catch
A lot of good horror movies this year but, for me, the scariest is the commercial where John Travolta dressed as Santa Claus growls “what’s in your wallet?” like he’s mugging the whole world in an alley
November 27, 2025 at 5:22 PM
A lot of good horror movies this year but, for me, the scariest is the commercial where John Travolta dressed as Santa Claus growls “what’s in your wallet?” like he’s mugging the whole world in an alley
The parade revealed Mario’s username when he visits adult websites
November 27, 2025 at 4:42 PM
The parade revealed Mario’s username when he visits adult websites
Reposted by JosephScrimshaw
Great to see the new recommendation from RFK Jr and the CDC that the only healthy way to prepare a turkey is a 2 second blast from a flame thrower
November 26, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Great to see the new recommendation from RFK Jr and the CDC that the only healthy way to prepare a turkey is a 2 second blast from a flame thrower
Saw Wake Up Dead Man at the beautiful Egyptian Theater and enjoyed it very much. My only disappointment is that the Netflix merch shop next door did not add a Benoit Blanc statue to question the Demogorgon
November 27, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Saw Wake Up Dead Man at the beautiful Egyptian Theater and enjoyed it very much. My only disappointment is that the Netflix merch shop next door did not add a Benoit Blanc statue to question the Demogorgon
Great to see the new recommendation from RFK Jr and the CDC that the only healthy way to prepare a turkey is a 2 second blast from a flame thrower
November 26, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Great to see the new recommendation from RFK Jr and the CDC that the only healthy way to prepare a turkey is a 2 second blast from a flame thrower
Excited to work on my new personal brand: Guy who has an unfocused personal brand
November 26, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Excited to work on my new personal brand: Guy who has an unfocused personal brand
Enjoyed a cocktail at a festive bar that made me feel like I’d been stood up by Santa Claus
November 26, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Enjoyed a cocktail at a festive bar that made me feel like I’d been stood up by Santa Claus
Reposted by JosephScrimshaw
Ice is gassing neighbors in St. Paul this morning g during a paramilitary fascist raid on the city.
November 25, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Ice is gassing neighbors in St. Paul this morning g during a paramilitary fascist raid on the city.
Putting together my list of Best Steve Martins and leaving off the most famous one to generate outrage clicks
November 25, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Putting together my list of Best Steve Martins and leaving off the most famous one to generate outrage clicks
The idea of counting sheep to fall asleep is absurd when we can simply scroll on social media and count things that make us feel bad
November 25, 2025 at 7:24 AM
The idea of counting sheep to fall asleep is absurd when we can simply scroll on social media and count things that make us feel bad
My birthday this year was consumed by work on our horror film DEAD MEDIA so I’ve been going through cards and realized I never shared this one my talented niece Kayla drew for me back in August. I wait patiently for the squirrel to get their own spin-off film
November 25, 2025 at 1:31 AM
My birthday this year was consumed by work on our horror film DEAD MEDIA so I’ve been going through cards and realized I never shared this one my talented niece Kayla drew for me back in August. I wait patiently for the squirrel to get their own spin-off film
All Star Wars Ranking Lists should be done while speaking like Yoda so it is extremely difficult to understand what the person's actual ranking is
November 24, 2025 at 11:22 PM
All Star Wars Ranking Lists should be done while speaking like Yoda so it is extremely difficult to understand what the person's actual ranking is