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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
170 followers 250 following 1.8K posts
Musician, writer, zinemeister, essayist…I just keep making stuff, whether I want to or not. he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙 https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · Aug 11
I’m making another bad decision, and I need your help!

I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.

Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
A poster with a dog’s butthole featured between two blocks of text on a purple/pink background The SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival • Submissions must be under 30 seconds, up to 20 seconds for the movie and up to 10 seconds for a title card and end card/credits • Title card and end card/credits required, I can create if necessary • I am available upon request to edit footage • Real movie feel preferred but not required • Any genre is admissible • Unrated! Go nuts with pushing the envelope as long as it's still legal! • That said...NO AI. It's gross. • Feel free to ask questions! • Submit to giggab@gmail.com by AUGUST 31
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 12h
Beast Mortos rocking the My Pet Monster chains tonight. 🤼‍♂️
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 12h
That 70s Hayter has felt off to me since it started, but I think it’s that it clashes with her music.

The music bangs though. Gotta keep that theme no matter what.
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 13h
[trap beat] Cowboy hat on Bobby Lashley, that’s the Y’all Mighty
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 13h
Tired: “The All Mighty” Bobby Lashley

Inspired: “The All Meaty” Bobby Lashley

Desired: “The Biggest Bobby” Large Bob

#AEWDynamite 🤼‍♂️
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 15h
Just a wealth of phrases I never thought I’d read.

“Barfman is hurlin’ at me”

“Hook up with your nearest 3DO dealer”

“Yeah, Cyberplunger. This is truly sick stuff. Later.”
gamemagprintads.famiconsumer.com
Game Mag Print Ads @gamemagprintads.famiconsumer.com · 1d
Cyberdillo: "Gross, nasty, disgusting, sickening and slimy. I love it!"
Source: Next Generation 12 (December 1995)
Scan Source: RetroMags

#retrogaming #3do
Cyberdillo: "Gross, nasty, disgusting, sickening and slimy. I love it!"
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 15h
Yup. I remember seeing her on TRL and not having any clue that she would become a goddamn icon.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 1d
I watched Shrek backwards and upside down when I was a projectionist. Donkey singing I’m a Believer made the concept of time moot.
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 1d
Martin Luther’s 95 Theses caused almost as much toxic discourse as the Wrestling Observer.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 1d
Ben Franklin. Pfft. Who’d he ever beat?
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 1d
Like, of all the people to roar past 100 and
A gif of Ibushi atop a car shooting fireworks at his own chest If it doesn’t animate, it’s Kota Ibushi squatting and screaming, which still works
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 1d
I love this for him, and I hope it happens.
fatsfalafel.bsky.social
Fats Falafel @fatsfalafel.bsky.social · 1d
Kota Ibushi saying "i personally believe I'll live to be 150, so 122 or 123 years from now I'll still be wrestling"
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 2d
It’s all Bird Slamzone from now on.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
A complete waste of time (complementary).
aewontv.bsky.social
AEW On TV @aewontv.bsky.social · 3d
"We're sitting like a divorced couple right now"

RJ City sits down with Orange Cassidy exclusively from the Studio at New York Comic Con when we're LIVE... to tape at 6:05 pm et on the AEW on TV YouTube Channel
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
Me too! I really should’ve jumped in that line!
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
🎶Did you girlboss too close to the fascism?🎶
junlper.beer
onion person @junlper.beer · 3d
this persons entire crashout over defending bari weiss, the far right billionaires chosen bulwark of dismantling trusted media organizations, has been pretty funny
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
Hell yeah. New Tonyware dropped.
wrestledee.bsky.social
WrestleDee @wrestledee.bsky.social · 3d
TONYWARE 3.0 | AEW x WarioWare
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 3d
Today is football.
A screengrab from the Game Grumps playthrough of Pantsu Hunter, with two women in a kitchen One of them, Anko, is saying “Today is football!”
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
I’ve met her, can confirm.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
We’re all Jesses when there’s hole on the line.
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
Liz Phair side eye
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
What if we kissed under the bisexual lighting Jaguar mouth with Willow Nightingale sitting in it? 🤼‍♂️
As described above, this is an NFL Jaguars’ logo’s mouth lit in blue and purple-pink, with Willow Nightingale sitting in it A paused progress bar and some limbs of Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight are visible
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
It’s strangely tantalizing…
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
C’mon…did you have to give her the Pac-hole?
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
(By the by, a wonderful, silly, macabre movie for the first two acts, and then a cruel nightmare of a third act.

Also, the whole thing is in French. It rules as long as you stop watching at the right time!)
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jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum @jmaq.bsky.social · 4d
Oooh, he’s got a Baxter!
A VHS copy of Baxter, with a white bull terrier thinking: "I AM BAXTER. I THINK THAT MY LIFE WOULD BE MUCH EASIER IF I DIDN'T NEED PEOPLE. BIRDS AND CATS, THEY DONT NEED ANYONE, THEY TRUST NOTHING. PERHAPS ONE DAY I'LL KILL ONE..." and the review quotes: "ONE OF THE BEST FILMS OF THE YEAR" —Vincent Canby, THE NEW YORK TIMES "FASCINATING AND LACED WITH MALICIOUS HUMOR" —VILLAGE VOICE and the tagline: Beware of the dog that thinks.
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