Jesse Maximum
banner
jmaq.bsky.social
Jesse Maximum
@jmaq.bsky.social
Musician, writer, zinemeister, essayist…I just keep making stuff, whether I want to or not.

he/them 🩷🤍💜🖤💙

https://linktr.ee/sharkuppercut
Pinned
I’m making another bad decision, and I need your help!

I decided a fast-paced machine gun of tiny films could be endlessly entertaining, and rather than do it all myself I’m looking to collect clips from anyone willing to make one.

Join me in making the SHARK UPPERCUT Micromovie Film Festival!
Frick. The last two Philly Taskmaster tickets sold out as I was trying to buy them.
December 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
have a hardcore holly christmas
it's the best time of the year
I don't know
if there's al snow
but stone cold has some beer

have a hardcore holly christmas
and when you walk when the street
say hello
to test, d'lo,
and everyone named meat
December 7, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Everyone I know

Goes away

Even Sven
In the song “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails, further popularized by Johnny Cash, do they sing:

“What have I become, my Swedish friend?”

Like you’re existentially asking your pal Bjorn.

or is it more like

“What? Have I become my Swedish friend?”

Like you may have become Bjorn.
December 7, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Oh right, I knew I forgot to do something.

THESE ARE ALL INADEQUATE ISSUE 7. HOPEFULLY COMING IN 2026.
y'all have got to start making 'zines . I don't care if they're bad. Sometimes it's better if they are. I just need everyone who reads this to make a 'zine.
December 7, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Every. Time.
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
Just iconic, S-tier, immortal stuff. youtu.be/CdfMh8QgJjA
December 6, 2025 at 11:29 PM
I’ve already got like eight things I have to do this weekend, but now I have nine.

Early playtest, baybee!
December 6, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
Follow @wario64.bsky.social and repost for a chance to win 1 of 10 Steam codes for Simogo Legacy Collection from @simogo.com. Giveaway closes on December 6th at 6 PM PT

Game is available now for Nintendo Switch, Nintendo Switch 2, and Steam simogo.com/work/simogol...
December 2, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Eating the pizzussy like
December 6, 2025 at 1:45 AM
E EQUALS SQUARE CUM

SCIENCE AND THE UNIVERSE SOLVED
December 5, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Anyone love me enough to buy me a Booger? I am still seeing God in his eyes and I never want it to end.
Just added all these drawings to my website, yellow rabbit, flow monkey, Bastion Booger and Ox Baker. First two in

Here: www.chloecumming.com/almost-drawi...

And the wrestler 🤼 ones here: www.chloecumming.com/wrestlerdraw...

Thank you for looking. Do look!
December 5, 2025 at 6:37 PM
I don’t care if Alex Horne won’t see it here…if anyone deserves to hear my wife’s wonderful Christmas Cracker joke it’s the sickos on Bluesky.

#TMDay4
December 5, 2025 at 3:32 AM
Indeed, that’s how I dance.

Oh, probably should have self-promoted this at some point but the full song is starting to hit streaming sites. Check it out! It’s way less catchy and waaaaay more depressing!
December 3, 2025 at 7:27 PM
It took me so long to realize these cutouts weren’t Trump and the dry wife guy.
I'm at Merry Murdoch Mysteries in Concert with the Toronto Symphony Orchestra! just hanging out with some close personal friends
December 3, 2025 at 4:07 AM
I’m not going to lie, a lot of this sucked but it would have been revolutionary for US TV in 1989 and 8yo me would have watched the hell out of it every week.
December 1, 2025 at 4:04 AM
These puzzles rule. After you build it the sections slide apart and there’s another envelope of pieces that build the secret center of the *real* picture. Just a wonderful bit of joy for $12.49.
November 29, 2025 at 6:51 PM
I literally became entranced for a solid thirty seconds, drawn into his ethereal folds and child-like innocence.
So many things and people to draw. And somehow I ended up drawing Bastion Booger. I think out of a sort of defiance against logic 🤼
November 29, 2025 at 3:06 PM
This is my first time catching this design, but it absolutely fucks.

Hey @thelvac.bsky.social, please book Creeps for Holiday Hangout so I can buy this thing!
They say don't meet your heroes but how else was I getting my hands on this shirt from the Creeps feat. Sanrio's seldom seen mascot?

Keep on creepin on @irvingwestphd.bsky.social and @andeyripley.bsky.social
November 28, 2025 at 10:01 PM
My face when I’m about to give my action figure of myself a big wet kiss on the butt, while the Paul Heyman homunculus I created through the unholy power of the dark arts, who is *not* an action figure but is the *size* of my action figures, prays for it to happen.
WWE 2K25 (Switch 2 code in a box/PS5/Xbox) is $15 on Amazon buff.ly/JTsX4b5
Walmart buff.ly/XzqvLs4 #ad
November 28, 2025 at 8:14 PM
What a horrible year to be traveling during December…

#Taskmaster
November 28, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Love to see famous people get slightly mauled for my amusement.
this sunday we’ll be watching wrestling on the stream until 9pm, when we’ll be watching the 1981 film ROAR. one of the craziest films ever made
November 27, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Reposted by Jesse Maximum
gobble gobble baybeee
November 28, 2024 at 4:57 AM
I’m looking forward to watching the parade in like thirty years so I can see musicians who are popular now. A fifty year old Olivia Rodrigo singing Drivers License on the Colgate Whitening float.
November 27, 2025 at 3:26 PM
RKO FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!!! 🤼‍♂️
November 27, 2025 at 3:12 PM
This is all trash, but at least I’ve got a gift for someone I hate this year!
November 27, 2025 at 12:39 PM