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drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
drewtoothpaste
@drewtoothpaste.bsky.social
author of Toothpaste For Dinner, Married To The Sea, @dasharez0ne.bsky.social etc.

my podcast with @nataliedee.bsky.social: https://patreon.com/garbagebrainuniversity

my shirts: dashare.zone / drewtoothpaste.com

vocals for HELL ORBS: dendycrew.com
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how we envisioned the dark future: you wear leather and buy brain stims from a small store in an alley. your wrist computer helps you hack

actual dark future: your $89 pants rip after 8 wears. adderall shortage. your wrist computer makes you stand up hourly and buzzes with email from your boss
January 26, 2026 at 1:04 AM
i need 15 grams of bonhomie. and while you're back there can you get me 10mL of camraderie? actually can you just bring out all the good french feelings and I'll pick out which ones I want?
January 25, 2026 at 11:25 PM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
everyone tells you to let your faucets leak when it's below freezing but nobody tells you to let your bidet spray everywhere too
January 25, 2026 at 9:49 PM
it's funny to imagine yourself as an adult in the 70s and think about the stuff you would do. it's even funnier to think about people in the 2070s thinking about themselves in 2026 and imagining what they would have done from day to day in this year if they were adults now
January 25, 2026 at 8:02 PM
January 25, 2026 at 4:31 PM
The Devil: A guy who has never had a friend will yell at you for saying something that's not wrong, and not said in the wrong way, but in a way that the guy thinks is wrong.

Me: That sounds very cool. And this all happens on my telephone?
January 25, 2026 at 1:51 AM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
We now go live to the greenhouse for a look at some plants
January 24, 2026 at 8:25 PM
January 24, 2026 at 9:45 PM
right now, at twitch.tv/garbagebrainuniversity, i'm streaming MTG Arena games, and opening packs of the new set. i haven't streamed in forever, so come by and say hello!
January 24, 2026 at 7:09 PM
submit
January 24, 2026 at 3:34 PM
at a time like this, we need to ignore our petty personal grievances and ideological differences to come together and agree that Roblox must be outlawed
January 24, 2026 at 2:55 AM
toothpaste for dinner x buddo collab
January 24, 2026 at 2:02 AM
"It's too dark, and it has too much plants," Brian Wilson said. The other Forest Boys nodded. They'd have to find a new name.
January 23, 2026 at 10:33 PM
as a child my dream job was composing beats for the clothes dryer
January 23, 2026 at 9:07 PM
January 23, 2026 at 4:45 PM
saw a guy in the obituaries with a great name. it just goes to show you that your time on earth is best spent trying to discover alive people with great names
January 23, 2026 at 5:11 AM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
Tomorrow's premium newsletter - The AI Bubble Is A Time Bomb, with every hyperscaler facing $10bn-$20bn a quarter in depreciation in the next two years and AI startups draining all that's left of venture capital.

Here's $10 off annual.
edzitronswheresyouredatghostio.outpost.pub/public/promo...
January 23, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
Computer: Do you want to trust this device?
Me: Yes. i love my device
Computer: If you trust this device, it will have access to your data. It can change your data. It can do anything to you.
Me: I Will Die For My Device
Computer: We Are Bonded In Silicon And Desire
March 31, 2024 at 4:29 PM
if you use an xacto knife or utility knife a lot try using a scalpel instead. sounds crazy but for most things it works infinitely better. didnt even realize you could buy a scalpel until a few years ago. i guess i assumed they were restricted to doctors
January 22, 2026 at 7:22 PM
January 22, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
FUCK ICE - SHIRT AT dashare.zone - dashare.zone ADMIN
January 21, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
They used to give us visions of our lives flashing before our eyes, and ceremonies where they'd weigh our hearts against a feather.
January 21, 2026 at 10:47 PM
every time you click "Dismiss" and "Do not show me this again" on some pop-up AI bullshit, satya nadella and jensen huang each shed a single tear
January 21, 2026 at 10:44 PM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
“thanks for the gold, stranger!” - me, mugging a redditor
January 21, 2026 at 7:23 PM
Reposted by drewtoothpaste
centuries ago, the bone thugs lived n harmony
January 21, 2026 at 7:09 PM