JB4Realz
@jb4realz.bsky.social
Pinned
JB4Realz
@jb4realz.bsky.social
· Nov 19
Cop: You threw this out the window before stopping.
Me: Oh no! My drugs!
Cop: This is Season 1 of Fraggle Rock on DVD…
Me: *gets jittery*
Me: Oh no! My drugs!
Cop: This is Season 1 of Fraggle Rock on DVD…
Me: *gets jittery*
Reposted by JB4Realz
[convenient hand signals to use with your friends at a loud club]
✌️ = two more vomit bags
🤏 = pinch my left moob
🤙 = call your mom for me
🤜 = I’m leaving with a proctologist
🤌 = let’s do gabagool in the bathroom
✌️ = two more vomit bags
🤏 = pinch my left moob
🤙 = call your mom for me
🤜 = I’m leaving with a proctologist
🤌 = let’s do gabagool in the bathroom
October 18, 2025 at 3:29 AM
[convenient hand signals to use with your friends at a loud club]
✌️ = two more vomit bags
🤏 = pinch my left moob
🤙 = call your mom for me
🤜 = I’m leaving with a proctologist
🤌 = let’s do gabagool in the bathroom
✌️ = two more vomit bags
🤏 = pinch my left moob
🤙 = call your mom for me
🤜 = I’m leaving with a proctologist
🤌 = let’s do gabagool in the bathroom
Reposted by JB4Realz
My slutty Ron Howard costume is coming along nicely
October 11, 2025 at 3:29 PM
My slutty Ron Howard costume is coming along nicely
Reposted by JB4Realz
After you sneeze, Devil worshippers be like, "Possess you."
April 26, 2025 at 12:37 AM
After you sneeze, Devil worshippers be like, "Possess you."
Reposted by JB4Realz
My Boss: [patiently explaining something to me]
My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE
My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE
September 22, 2025 at 9:10 PM
My Boss: [patiently explaining something to me]
My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE
My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE
Reposted by JB4Realz
a millionaire? I’ve got two toilets in my house, man. what more could you want
September 14, 2025 at 4:40 AM
a millionaire? I’ve got two toilets in my house, man. what more could you want
Reposted by JB4Realz
my bf, Gerry Mander, has a problem with boundaries . folks,,
September 14, 2025 at 11:32 AM
my bf, Gerry Mander, has a problem with boundaries . folks,,
Reposted by JB4Realz
MULDER: I’m telling you boss, it’s real, and we have the proof.
SCULLY: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mulder is telling the truth: we have captured Bigfoot. He’s in the lab right now.
KASH PATEL: Is it woke?
SCULLY: Director, I don’t —
PATEL: Can we say it’s woke? That we caught Woke Bigfoot?
SCULLY: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mulder is telling the truth: we have captured Bigfoot. He’s in the lab right now.
KASH PATEL: Is it woke?
SCULLY: Director, I don’t —
PATEL: Can we say it’s woke? That we caught Woke Bigfoot?
September 11, 2025 at 12:58 AM
MULDER: I’m telling you boss, it’s real, and we have the proof.
SCULLY: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mulder is telling the truth: we have captured Bigfoot. He’s in the lab right now.
KASH PATEL: Is it woke?
SCULLY: Director, I don’t —
PATEL: Can we say it’s woke? That we caught Woke Bigfoot?
SCULLY: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Mulder is telling the truth: we have captured Bigfoot. He’s in the lab right now.
KASH PATEL: Is it woke?
SCULLY: Director, I don’t —
PATEL: Can we say it’s woke? That we caught Woke Bigfoot?
Reposted by JB4Realz
bully: i'm about to give you a taste of your own medicine.
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
July 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
bully: i'm about to give you a taste of your own medicine.
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
Reposted by JB4Realz
good computer
programmer
👇
c colon slash
☝️
bad proctologist
programmer
👇
c colon slash
☝️
bad proctologist
November 29, 2024 at 7:10 PM
good computer
programmer
👇
c colon slash
☝️
bad proctologist
programmer
👇
c colon slash
☝️
bad proctologist
Reposted by JB4Realz
"Maybe a little jail time will straighten you out," I grumble as I strap on a knee brace.
September 9, 2025 at 1:22 PM
"Maybe a little jail time will straighten you out," I grumble as I strap on a knee brace.
[Medic Alert Bracelet]
ＪＵＳＴ ＬＥＴ ＭＥ ＳＬＥＥＰ
ＪＵＳＴ ＬＥＴ ＭＥ ＳＬＥＥＰ
July 20, 2025 at 10:30 PM
[Medic Alert Bracelet]
ＪＵＳＴ ＬＥＴ ＭＥ ＳＬＥＥＰ
ＪＵＳＴ ＬＥＴ ＭＥ ＳＬＥＥＰ
Reposted by JB4Realz
date: i love a man who is still in touch with his inner child.
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
July 19, 2025 at 12:22 AM
date: i love a man who is still in touch with his inner child.
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
Reposted by JB4Realz
*wakes up hogtied in the trunk of a car*
*goes back to sleep*
*goes back to sleep*
November 29, 2024 at 7:47 AM
*wakes up hogtied in the trunk of a car*
*goes back to sleep*
*goes back to sleep*
bully: i'm about to give you a taste of your own medicine.
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
July 19, 2025 at 1:21 PM
bully: i'm about to give you a taste of your own medicine.
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
me: way ahead of ya, buddy... *pops a bunch of flintstones vitamins with the wilmas taken out*
interviewer: it says here you're terrible at keeping secrets.
me: *letting an actual cat out of an actual bag* it says what now?
me: *letting an actual cat out of an actual bag* it says what now?
July 19, 2025 at 1:20 PM
interviewer: it says here you're terrible at keeping secrets.
me: *letting an actual cat out of an actual bag* it says what now?
me: *letting an actual cat out of an actual bag* it says what now?
date: i love a man who is still in touch with his inner child.
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
July 19, 2025 at 12:22 AM
date: i love a man who is still in touch with his inner child.
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
me: *pulls out a jar with all of my baby teeth*
Reposted by JB4Realz
Her: Trim your beard!
Him: You'd rather I have a bear?
Him: You'd rather I have a bear?
April 13, 2025 at 3:23 PM
Her: Trim your beard!
Him: You'd rather I have a bear?
Him: You'd rather I have a bear?
Reposted by JB4Realz
Her: You're sure to get awards for Most Ostentatious Costume and Most Adorned Costume.
Him: I seek wins with this sequence of sequins!
Him: I seek wins with this sequence of sequins!
May 3, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Her: You're sure to get awards for Most Ostentatious Costume and Most Adorned Costume.
Him: I seek wins with this sequence of sequins!
Him: I seek wins with this sequence of sequins!
Reposted by JB4Realz
a murder of crows has probable caws
July 18, 2025 at 6:25 PM
a murder of crows has probable caws
Reposted by JB4Realz
welcome back to invisibility class.
it's pretty disappointing to see so many of you here.
it's pretty disappointing to see so many of you here.
December 1, 2024 at 7:33 PM
welcome back to invisibility class.
it's pretty disappointing to see so many of you here.
it's pretty disappointing to see so many of you here.
Reposted by JB4Realz
i hold the febreze bottle sideways when i want to freshen up the place like a gangsta.
January 17, 2025 at 7:22 PM
i hold the febreze bottle sideways when i want to freshen up the place like a gangsta.
Reposted by JB4Realz
my grandfather would be rolling in his grave if we got him the casket he asked for.
December 20, 2024 at 11:59 PM
my grandfather would be rolling in his grave if we got him the casket he asked for.
Reposted by JB4Realz
me: watch this... *places chameleon on my penis*
her: what the fuck?
chameleon *struggling not to change colors*: yeah, what the actual fuck?
her: what the fuck?
chameleon *struggling not to change colors*: yeah, what the actual fuck?
January 26, 2025 at 5:19 PM
me: watch this... *places chameleon on my penis*
her: what the fuck?
chameleon *struggling not to change colors*: yeah, what the actual fuck?
her: what the fuck?
chameleon *struggling not to change colors*: yeah, what the actual fuck?
Reposted by JB4Realz
Her: *watching a show that bleeps out cuss words*
Him: *hears a bleep* Oooh, someone cussed.
Her: Yeah, I got a bleeper for you, too.
Him: Lmao, the bleep you did...what the bleep...bleep...oh, this BLEEPin sucks!
Him: *hears a bleep* Oooh, someone cussed.
Her: Yeah, I got a bleeper for you, too.
Him: Lmao, the bleep you did...what the bleep...bleep...oh, this BLEEPin sucks!
April 11, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Her: *watching a show that bleeps out cuss words*
Him: *hears a bleep* Oooh, someone cussed.
Her: Yeah, I got a bleeper for you, too.
Him: Lmao, the bleep you did...what the bleep...bleep...oh, this BLEEPin sucks!
Him: *hears a bleep* Oooh, someone cussed.
Her: Yeah, I got a bleeper for you, too.
Him: Lmao, the bleep you did...what the bleep...bleep...oh, this BLEEPin sucks!
Reposted by JB4Realz
hey dentist office that is in an old house: no thank you
March 30, 2025 at 5:50 PM
hey dentist office that is in an old house: no thank you