(h)elle woods, j.d.
@hellewoods.bsky.social
Chicago ✈️ Bronx, so you know I'm trouble. Public defender. Abolition. Maligning agents of the state for sport. Send coffee. She series.
"How can you represent THOSE people?"
Take a little grit, a dash of determination, and the people skills of a good bartender. Mix in equal parts belief in basic human rights and distrust of the state. Add pain kink to taste.
Take a little grit, a dash of determination, and the people skills of a good bartender. Mix in equal parts belief in basic human rights and distrust of the state. Add pain kink to taste.
What’s the worst question someone can ask after you tell them your profession? For linguists, it’s definitely “how many languages do you speak?”, but I’m curious what else is happening to the rest of y’all out there?!
December 1, 2025 at 8:55 PM
"How can you represent THOSE people?"
Take a little grit, a dash of determination, and the people skills of a good bartender. Mix in equal parts belief in basic human rights and distrust of the state. Add pain kink to taste.
Take a little grit, a dash of determination, and the people skills of a good bartender. Mix in equal parts belief in basic human rights and distrust of the state. Add pain kink to taste.
I've been regularly haunting courtrooms for about 3 years now, listening to the dumb shit that people say to folks accused of things, and today was the day I nearly lost my entire mind. I know these things will ebb and flow, but the amount of restraint I exercised today...
December 1, 2025 at 8:46 PM
I've been regularly haunting courtrooms for about 3 years now, listening to the dumb shit that people say to folks accused of things, and today was the day I nearly lost my entire mind. I know these things will ebb and flow, but the amount of restraint I exercised today...
9am hearing on a Monday. Absolutely diabolical.
December 1, 2025 at 1:54 PM
9am hearing on a Monday. Absolutely diabolical.
I just need to be sealed up and packed away until March. Or April. Not even my little half birthday treat brought any joy, so I may need to consider hibernation as a plan of action from here on out.
December 1, 2025 at 3:12 AM
I just need to be sealed up and packed away until March. Or April. Not even my little half birthday treat brought any joy, so I may need to consider hibernation as a plan of action from here on out.
Can I just buy a blanket instead?
Gemini: This is a great week to start a creative project. Try making something new like a blanket or a friend.
November 30, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Can I just buy a blanket instead?
I live in New York City and I have three bathrooms, AMA.
November 30, 2025 at 3:33 PM
I live in New York City and I have three bathrooms, AMA.
WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.
They are selling stirrup leggings again.
I repeat: THEY ARE SELLING STIRRUP LEGGINGS AGAIN.
File that under: things you never imagined would come back.
I repeat: THEY ARE SELLING STIRRUP LEGGINGS AGAIN.
File that under: things you never imagined would come back.
November 30, 2025 at 12:27 AM
WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.
I feel like I may be slacking. What do you think, @profanity.accountant?
November 29, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I feel like I may be slacking. What do you think, @profanity.accountant?
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
1. The Cure
2. Jawbreaker
3. Dave Brubeck
4. Pierce the Veil
5. Ice Cube w/ Bun B
I have range.
1. The Cure
2. Jawbreaker
3. Dave Brubeck
4. Pierce the Veil
5. Ice Cube w/ Bun B
I have range.
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
(These are my last four and the next one)
1. Simple Minds
2. Sam Fender
3. @thomasdolby.bsky.social
4. Couch
5. Ben Watt and @traceythorn.bsky.social
(These are my last four and the next one)
1. Simple Minds
2. Sam Fender
3. @thomasdolby.bsky.social
4. Couch
5. Ben Watt and @traceythorn.bsky.social
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
1) Bajofondo Tango Club
2) U2
3) Janelle Monae
4) Gogol Bordello
5) Flogging Molly
1) Bajofondo Tango Club
2) U2
3) Janelle Monae
4) Gogol Bordello
5) Flogging Molly
November 28, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
1. The Cure
2. Jawbreaker
3. Dave Brubeck
4. Pierce the Veil
5. Ice Cube w/ Bun B
I have range.
1. The Cure
2. Jawbreaker
3. Dave Brubeck
4. Pierce the Veil
5. Ice Cube w/ Bun B
I have range.
Everyone is getting a discovery demand today. Happy Friday! 😘
November 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Everyone is getting a discovery demand today. Happy Friday! 😘
The defense never rests. 300 New Yorkers fed today. 💪
November 27, 2025 at 9:55 PM
The defense never rests. 300 New Yorkers fed today. 💪
Staying on brand, I am running late getting into the office. Why am I like this?
November 27, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Staying on brand, I am running late getting into the office. Why am I like this?
I've been doing this job for 5 minutes and I've already had a few clients say "this is the first time I've felt like anyone has listened to me/wants to help me." I'd love to see more hospitality industry people pursue law, because lawyers suck at people stuff.
November 27, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I've been doing this job for 5 minutes and I've already had a few clients say "this is the first time I've felt like anyone has listened to me/wants to help me." I'd love to see more hospitality industry people pursue law, because lawyers suck at people stuff.
Omg DO YOUR DAMN JOB.
It really must be nice to have all the power and the resources and use them to take your sweet ass time with things.
Love me job. Seriously.
It really must be nice to have all the power and the resources and use them to take your sweet ass time with things.
Love me job. Seriously.
November 26, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Omg DO YOUR DAMN JOB.
It really must be nice to have all the power and the resources and use them to take your sweet ass time with things.
Love me job. Seriously.
It really must be nice to have all the power and the resources and use them to take your sweet ass time with things.
Love me job. Seriously.
Courts should be 24/7/365. If you're allowed to kidnap someone at 2am, I should be allowed to start fighting your attorneys by 230.
November 25, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Courts should be 24/7/365. If you're allowed to kidnap someone at 2am, I should be allowed to start fighting your attorneys by 230.
I have accomplished all I can accomplish for the week.
(I can never get anything done in the office and I'm in person the rest of the week. 🫠)
(I can never get anything done in the office and I'm in person the rest of the week. 🫠)
November 25, 2025 at 12:09 AM
I have accomplished all I can accomplish for the week.
(I can never get anything done in the office and I'm in person the rest of the week. 🫠)
(I can never get anything done in the office and I'm in person the rest of the week. 🫠)
Nothing can change how much I hate the ingredients.
the “thanksgiving food is bad” discourse raises its ugly head every year, but the truth remains that thanksgiving food can be amazing as long as you know how to cook. the problem is we’re throwing a few million sunday drivers directly into a grand prix
I think this is unfair to turkey. turkey is good but hard to cook well because it is so damn big. turkey *parts* are great but lack the esthetic appeal of a centerpiece bird.
November 24, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Nothing can change how much I hate the ingredients.
I only have one work from home day this week 😥
November 23, 2025 at 11:19 PM
I only have one work from home day this week 😥
I did absolutely nothing this weekend, and that is infuriating.
November 23, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I did absolutely nothing this weekend, and that is infuriating.
A Cook County prosecutor pissed me off and I can hold a grudge like no one else.
November 23, 2025 at 12:53 AM
A Cook County prosecutor pissed me off and I can hold a grudge like no one else.
I find this fascinating, because I have yet to see or hear anything that would indicate this is making any meaningful difference.
“It did not feel like acting for even a minute."
How Actors Teach Child Welfare Workers to Balance Safety With Sensitivity
Child protection rookies learn how to engage helpfully with families in crisis, with help from performers who have turned civil service training sessions into a long-running engagement.
buff.ly
November 22, 2025 at 8:12 PM
I find this fascinating, because I have yet to see or hear anything that would indicate this is making any meaningful difference.
This week has made me regret ever learning to read in ways I never imagined.
good morning, logging on to catch up on what i missed on a serene autumn saturday morning
November 22, 2025 at 3:45 PM
This week has made me regret ever learning to read in ways I never imagined.
I'm a public defender. Of course I wake up on Saturday mornings to seven 2am missed calls from a client.
November 22, 2025 at 3:13 PM
I'm a public defender. Of course I wake up on Saturday mornings to seven 2am missed calls from a client.
Guy at the bar thought that I, in my legal aid attorney union shirt, would be impressed he attended a T-14.
I just said "I'm sorry."
Should I continue messing with him?
I just said "I'm sorry."
Should I continue messing with him?
November 22, 2025 at 12:50 AM
Guy at the bar thought that I, in my legal aid attorney union shirt, would be impressed he attended a T-14.
I just said "I'm sorry."
Should I continue messing with him?
I just said "I'm sorry."
Should I continue messing with him?