Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 15h

The confused looks between the contestants - *chef's kiss*

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hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 15h

"We'll just clarify this for you" - proceeds to do anything but.

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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 1d

How can these iconic 70s stars all suddenly be dying only 20 years after their iconic roles, because the 70s are about 20 years ago, right?

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Jessica Ritchey @jmritchey.bsky.social · 1d

Jared Leto may have a toxic reputation, he may have a wildly unappealing screen presence, but say what you will, he also can't open a movie either.

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Django Wexler @djangowexler.bsky.social · 2d

My boss: so how's our fourth quarter looking?

Me, the sales manager at the company that makes inflatable frog suits: well, you're never going to believe this, but

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Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 3d

Please call him by his proper name only: Timotei Chaletmaid.

Gretchen McCulloch @gretchenmcc.bsky.social · 3d

Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design

Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme

tweet from childish branzino @absflora:
timothée chalamet is the new benedict cumberbatch in the sense that you can say ANYTHING and we know who you mean. tiffany chevrolet. timpanogos charlemagne. symphony cabernet. jiminy castaway.

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BUCKERS @deathofbuckley.bsky.social · 3d

Just seen a headline which asks "Thatcher was born 100 years ago and her reign feels a lifetime away. Why is her effect on the country still so huge?"

It's because she was a massive bastard. Hope that helps x

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David Whitley @mrdavidwhitley.bsky.social · 4d

Three lads saving their GP the bother of asking them if they're sexually active, there.

Jonny Morris @jonnymorris.bsky.social · 4d

Is this real or am I in a coma?

Young Conservative with a Doctor Who question mark pullover.

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Anon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 4d

If Ant and Dec were trapped in a burning building and you only had the time to save one, most people would probably save Dec.

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hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 6d

Weirdly, I find people are fans of him as a person and his work ethic rather than his films. "He was so cranky and hilarious in this interview and made Gladiator II in 24 days!" OK, fine, but turned out shit, though, didn't it?

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hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 6d

Happy birthday, Neil! x

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hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 7d

He's not exaggerating.

Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 7d

Jump to 50 seconds in and listen to the music they use.

Trust me.

Your flabber will have never been so gasted.

Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 7d

Special bonus feature:

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Ash Higgins @ashhiggins.bsky.social · 9d

This. Is. Why. I. Paint.

"They're trying to convince people they can't do the things they've been doing easily for years - to write emails, to write a presentation. Your daughter wants you to make up a bedtime story about puppies - to write that for you." We will get to the point, she says with a grim laugh, "that you will essentially become just a skin bag of organs and bones, nothing else. You won't know anything and you will be told repeatedly that you can't do it, which is the opposite of what life has to offer. Capitulating all kinds of decisions like where to go on vacation, what to wear today, who to date, what to eat.
People are already doing this. You won't have to process grief, because you'll have uploaded photos and voice messages from your mother who just died, and then she can talk to you via Al video call every day. One of the ways it's going to destroy humans, long before there's a nuclear disaster, is going to be the emotional hollowing-out of people."

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dag @davidallengreen.bsky.social · 11d

A horrible, sad loss

And she was far more deserving of the Order of Merit than many who did receive it.

Alice Roberts @profaliceroberts.bsky.social · 11d

I’m sad to hear the news that the wonderful Jane Goodall is no longer in the world. Her work with chimpanzees at Gombe in Tanzania taught us to look at other apes - and ourselves - differently. I was privileged to meet her later in life and tell her what an inspiration she was to me.

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Stephen Graham @stephengraham.bsky.social · 11d

Can't believe the man who said he would 'don khaki and pick up a rifle' for Brexit is shitting himself over hurty words from Keir Starmer.

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Jonn Elledge @jonnelledge.bsky.social · 12d

god I know it really isn't the main problem with them but the sheer *whinyness* of the radical right is so irritating

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Lance Parkin @lanceparkin.bsky.social · 13d

Coming in 2029: lots of books where Trump regime people admit his dementia was 'an open secret' and 'we all knew' and 'if only the public knew how much worse it was in private'.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 13d

Trump: "In addition to negotiating the Abraaaham Accords -- I like to say it that way because the real people that's what they call, Abraaham. I would say 'Abraham.' But it's so much nicer when you say 'Abraaham.'"

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PatriotTakes 🇺🇸 @patriottakes.bsky.social · 13d

Pete Hegseth accidentally flipping a skateboard into his nuts on live TV

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Anon Opin @anonopin.bsky.social · 14d

The Cadbury Dairy Milk advert that depicts dementia and Alzheimer's as a bitter-sweet and whimsical experience can fuck right off. As can the creative cunts who came up with the idea and who've clearly never had to deal with looking after someone with the condition.

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hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 16d

"It could have been all songs in the street, it was nearly complete, it was nearly so sweet" is a great lyric, to be fair. Baddiel's bit, though... 😬 #totp

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hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 16d

What a song and what a video #totp

hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 16d

He probably had the absolute shit bullied out of him.

Good. #totp

hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 16d

I really, really, really, really hate Space. #totp

hannibalpearce.bsky.social @hannibalpearce.bsky.social · 16d

A guy I went to university with married one of the other non-B*Witched Lynch sisters #totp

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darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 17d

"Additionally, we will be charging a 30% Tariff on Upholstered Furniture"

jd vance looking shocked at the new tariffs on his dating life

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