Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
@gilderthorpe.bsky.social
Enjoyer of fine profanity. Did not get more conservative as he got older.
Quaid Army
Quaid Army
Pinned
The Plan to Make California Wet By Spreading Beavers Up and Down the State
Ending the drought in the West will require rain—not too much rain—and smarter ways to collect and store that water. But something else that can keep
gizmodo.com
What’s the story about? I don’t fucking care.
This is how you write a goddamn headline.
This is how you write a goddamn headline.
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
As a former professional baker, I’m making pumpkin pie the way god intended: from the Libby’s recipe off the can, with Pillsbury premade crust
November 27, 2025 at 2:43 AM
As a former professional baker, I’m making pumpkin pie the way god intended: from the Libby’s recipe off the can, with Pillsbury premade crust
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
Dear foreign nationals in war-torn countries, terrorism hot-spots, and amidst our enemies:
If you help the United States, we’ll fuck you over and abandon you. Not the individual servicepeople or intelligence officers — they’ll fight for you. I mean the depraved, soulless leadership of the nation.
If you help the United States, we’ll fuck you over and abandon you. Not the individual servicepeople or intelligence officers — they’ll fight for you. I mean the depraved, soulless leadership of the nation.
So now they’re going to be doing individualized re-review of tens of thousands of Afghan evacuees’ cases on TOP of the re-review of 200,000+ refugees who entered under Biden?
November 27, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Dear foreign nationals in war-torn countries, terrorism hot-spots, and amidst our enemies:
If you help the United States, we’ll fuck you over and abandon you. Not the individual servicepeople or intelligence officers — they’ll fight for you. I mean the depraved, soulless leadership of the nation.
If you help the United States, we’ll fuck you over and abandon you. Not the individual servicepeople or intelligence officers — they’ll fight for you. I mean the depraved, soulless leadership of the nation.
So, as far as I can tell, Thanksgiving consists of people doing things they dislike, with groups of people they dislike, for way too long, because reasons.
November 27, 2025 at 7:42 AM
So, as far as I can tell, Thanksgiving consists of people doing things they dislike, with groups of people they dislike, for way too long, because reasons.
Some of you have lovely families, who treat each other as though they actually love each other (something I did not believe possible until quite recently). And that's fantastic.
Some others of you have family members who do and say terrible things. 1/n
Some others of you have family members who do and say terrible things. 1/n
November 27, 2025 at 7:38 AM
Some of you have lovely families, who treat each other as though they actually love each other (something I did not believe possible until quite recently). And that's fantastic.
Some others of you have family members who do and say terrible things. 1/n
Some others of you have family members who do and say terrible things. 1/n
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
I went to a black-tie wedding at the Bacara thrown by a client. By the end of it he was yelling at me that he wanted me to sue the ice sculpture vendor IMMEDIATELY.
The rich are different than normal people.
The rich are different than normal people.
Exclusive: President Trump has argued with the architect he handpicked to design a White House ballroom over the size of the project, reflecting a conflict between architectural norms and Trump’s grandiose aesthetic.
Trump wants a bigger White House ballroom. His architect disagrees.
The president and James McCrery had argued in recent weeks over the project’s size, with Trump pushing him to expand the ballroom.
wapo.st
November 26, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I went to a black-tie wedding at the Bacara thrown by a client. By the end of it he was yelling at me that he wanted me to sue the ice sculpture vendor IMMEDIATELY.
The rich are different than normal people.
The rich are different than normal people.
It tells you a lot about this fucking country that the headline includes the record of a high school football team, and not the reason for the warrants.
Coach Turner is now wanted on ten warrants, including five counts of possession of child pornography and five counts of using a computer to solicit a minor, according to Va. State Police. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
Virginia H.S. football coach goes missing as undefeated team makes it to the playoffs
There's a statewide manhunt for coach Travis Turner, whose Union H.S. Bears are 12-0.
www.nbcnews.com
November 27, 2025 at 4:23 AM
It tells you a lot about this fucking country that the headline includes the record of a high school football team, and not the reason for the warrants.
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
my time-saving holiday shopping tip is to just get everybody books. white elephant? book. child? picture book. stocking? small book. i am a neutral & trustworthy source on this subject
November 26, 2025 at 7:13 PM
my time-saving holiday shopping tip is to just get everybody books. white elephant? book. child? picture book. stocking? small book. i am a neutral & trustworthy source on this subject
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
Lots of people think this is fine: manly, bold, “genuine,” “telling it like it is.“. Lots of people will approve.
Shitty people, shitty values, shitty culture.
Shitty people, shitty values, shitty culture.
Trump responds to a detailed report about his waning energy and propensity to sleep through on-camera events by calling the New York Times's Katie Rogers ugly
November 26, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Lots of people think this is fine: manly, bold, “genuine,” “telling it like it is.“. Lots of people will approve.
Shitty people, shitty values, shitty culture.
Shitty people, shitty values, shitty culture.
I don't know how else I'll ever learn RFK's thoughts about Nuzzi's butthole, but okay.
anyway. conde naste should fire Nuzzi, fire the hack editor at vanity fair, reverse its gutting of teen vogue, and apologize to all of us for this nonsense.
November 27, 2025 at 2:28 AM
I don't know how else I'll ever learn RFK's thoughts about Nuzzi's butthole, but okay.
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
Libertarian demands more armed government agents who have the power to kill, and condemns anyone who disagrees as an extremist.
thehill.com/opinion/robb...
thehill.com/opinion/robb...
thehill.com
November 26, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Libertarian demands more armed government agents who have the power to kill, and condemns anyone who disagrees as an extremist.
thehill.com/opinion/robb...
thehill.com/opinion/robb...
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
I contain multitudes
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
November 26, 2025 at 10:08 PM
I contain multitudes
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
Oh
Oh shit
My multitudes containment system is failing, everyone retreat to a safe distance
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
Conservatives for my entire life: “The Second Amendment is necessary so citizens can fight back against a tyrannical government!!! Guns for everyone!”
Conservatives now: “No! Not like that.”
Conservatives now: “No! Not like that.”
November 26, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Conservatives for my entire life: “The Second Amendment is necessary so citizens can fight back against a tyrannical government!!! Guns for everyone!”
Conservatives now: “No! Not like that.”
Conservatives now: “No! Not like that.”
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
Read the whole thread. Everything in it is exactly right. Some types of younger people who ESPECIALLY need a will:
1. Parents of children <18
2. Parents who are married to someone not their child's other parent
3. Unmarried, childless people who wouldn't want their parents or siblings inheriting
1. Parents of children <18
2. Parents who are married to someone not their child's other parent
3. Unmarried, childless people who wouldn't want their parents or siblings inheriting
This is my yearly PSA that, no matter how old you are, you should have a basic health directive and will. The forms are free online in California. The number of senior citizens in my neighborhood with no directives and no plan who are already a little off the rails is staggering. A short rant 1/
November 26, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Read the whole thread. Everything in it is exactly right. Some types of younger people who ESPECIALLY need a will:
1. Parents of children <18
2. Parents who are married to someone not their child's other parent
3. Unmarried, childless people who wouldn't want their parents or siblings inheriting
1. Parents of children <18
2. Parents who are married to someone not their child's other parent
3. Unmarried, childless people who wouldn't want their parents or siblings inheriting
Humanity will nowhere be free until the last landlord is throttled with the entrails of the last venture capitalist.
BREAKING: RealPage is suing New York, challenging a new state law that bans landlords from using algorithms to set rents.
RealPage claims that its software, which landlords have used to collude on rents, is protected by the First Amendment.
RealPage claims that its software, which landlords have used to collude on rents, is protected by the First Amendment.
November 26, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Humanity will nowhere be free until the last landlord is throttled with the entrails of the last venture capitalist.
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "all events depicted in the film Ghostbusters really happened."
November 26, 2025 at 6:10 PM
CDC website altered at Robert F. Kennedy's behest to reflect his belief that "all events depicted in the film Ghostbusters really happened."
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
This is good! This is really good! Read this. Thanks, @dennycarter.bsky.social
badfaithtimes.com/they-banned-...
badfaithtimes.com/they-banned-...
They Banned Woke And Suzy Still Can’t Read
Far-right school board officials are finding out the hard way that the political pendulum has swung
badfaithtimes.com
November 26, 2025 at 12:29 PM
This is good! This is really good! Read this. Thanks, @dennycarter.bsky.social
badfaithtimes.com/they-banned-...
badfaithtimes.com/they-banned-...
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
🦃 This Thanksgiving, I will not be inviting anybody into my home who I know supports the grotesque, anti-American Donald Trump, nor will I accept any invitation to be anyplace where I might find people who do.
🦃 I will not surround myself with sickening people who excuse bigotry and stand for hate.
🦃 I will not surround myself with sickening people who excuse bigotry and stand for hate.
NO THANKS
This holiday season finds us at war with evil, and I won't be grateful until we've won ...
dearlstephens.substack.com
November 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
🦃 This Thanksgiving, I will not be inviting anybody into my home who I know supports the grotesque, anti-American Donald Trump, nor will I accept any invitation to be anyplace where I might find people who do.
🦃 I will not surround myself with sickening people who excuse bigotry and stand for hate.
🦃 I will not surround myself with sickening people who excuse bigotry and stand for hate.
When someone says, "I'm not going to argue semantics with you," what they really mean is, "I've entirely run out of arguments for my position, but will continue to hold it, because it really, really still feels true to me."
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
When someone says, "I'm not going to argue semantics with you," what they really mean is, "I've entirely run out of arguments for my position, but will continue to hold it, because it really, really still feels true to me."
Everyone believes that if they were confronted with a choice between what is good, and what is good for them, that they would obviously choose what is good. There is precisely no evidence to support this belief.
November 26, 2025 at 6:06 PM
Everyone believes that if they were confronted with a choice between what is good, and what is good for them, that they would obviously choose what is good. There is precisely no evidence to support this belief.
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
The problem with ICE is not that it's targeting people who aren't criminals. The problem with ICE is that it's an unaccountable secret deportation police. It cannot be reformed under a better president. It can be made less terrible, but the instrument of repression remains for the next tyrant.
November 26, 2025 at 5:04 PM
The problem with ICE is not that it's targeting people who aren't criminals. The problem with ICE is that it's an unaccountable secret deportation police. It cannot be reformed under a better president. It can be made less terrible, but the instrument of repression remains for the next tyrant.
Reposted by Cranthemius Gilderthorpe (he/him/his)
i would say that twitter is eating barro’s brain but he’s always been like this
November 26, 2025 at 12:46 AM
i would say that twitter is eating barro’s brain but he’s always been like this
This will probably slow down some once they start fucking the robots.
guys who have no belief in or respect for human rights are becoming oddly invested in whether robots have rights
November 26, 2025 at 1:16 AM
This will probably slow down some once they start fucking the robots.
I’ll bet I can lose 207 billion dollars way better than these fucking chumps.
can anyone who understands finance lingo tell me if this is a good or bad sign??
OpenAI needs to raise at least $207bn by 2030 so it can continue to lose money, HSBC estimates on.ft.com/4ij0yh8
November 26, 2025 at 12:44 AM
I’ll bet I can lose 207 billion dollars way better than these fucking chumps.
You should know that if your name is Jean, or Gene, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that I address you as "Gene-Gene, dancin' machine."
November 26, 2025 at 12:32 AM
You should know that if your name is Jean, or Gene, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that I address you as "Gene-Gene, dancin' machine."
Balloon fucking requires a brain that still generates happiness chemicals. But I can still watch the parade and think about younger days.
The 10 Most Fuckable Balloons in This Year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
Women's News. Feminized.
reductress.com
November 26, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Balloon fucking requires a brain that still generates happiness chemicals. But I can still watch the parade and think about younger days.