Drew Melbourne
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drewmelbourne.com
Drew Melbourne
@drewmelbourne.com
Neurodivergent geek author of A DARK HOLE DARKLY, the Percival Gynt space-fantasy series, and the graphic novel ARCHENEMIES.
www.drewmelbourne.com
(he/him)
Pinned
His girlfriend says he doesn't have the temperament to solve his mom's murder.

She's probably right.

Don't believe the lies your TV tells you: Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.

A DARK HOLE DARKLY
A Detective's Story

Out now in ebook and paperback.

#ADHDetective
💙📚⚡️
A Dark Hole Darkly
Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
www.drewmelbourne.com
Santa: And do you know the most famous reindeer of a--?

Our Kid: Dancer.

Santa: No. No, it's...

Santa: It's *Rudolph*

Our Kid:

Our Kid:

Our Kid: It's *Dancer*.

1/2
December 7, 2025 at 8:59 PM
That's a nice routine you got there. It'd be a shame if somebody came along, followed it for a little while, it worked real good for them, they got really excited, but then it gradually stopped working for them.
December 7, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Honest Titles:

A DARK HOLE DARKLY >>

Surprise! (You're Also Neurodivergent)

PERCIVAL GYNT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF DAYS >>

If Percival Ate Anyone, It Probably Wasn't His Fault
Honest Titles…

The Audacity -> Maybe some problems can be solved by being abducted by aliens

Audacity 2 -> Oh, no, sorry, aliens have worse problems actually

3 -> Fuck, alien problems are terrifying

4 -> In which reality breaks completely spilling pirates, cowboys, and ghosts everywhere
If my books had honest titles:

Kotov Syndrome - I’d Love To Tell You I Moved On From My Ex But She Was A Net Benefit For My Mental Health Journey So Oops We Are Back Together

Woodpusher - Where Am I? And Who The Fuck Are All of You?

Opus - Girl, Delayed
December 6, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTION #312:

Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.

At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.

Links in the link:
A Dark Hole Darkly
Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
www.drewmelbourne.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
I have an idea for a musical:

The first act is short and depressing and the second act is long, fun, and has all the best songs.
December 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
OMG! Netflix owns ANIMANIACS?!?

You know what that means, right?

"We're the Netflix brothers and the Netflix sister Dot! / Just for fun we run around the Netflix movie lot! / They lock us in the tower, whenever we get caught! / And then they insert ads and raise the subscription price a lot!"
December 5, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
In order to finish drafting this novel in under a month, how many times per day should I open Bluesky and check notifications?
December 5, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Oh, cool! The new trailer for KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS just dropped.

I love those novellas! Finally a GAME OF THRONES spinoff that isn't hip deep in inces--

youtu.be/P3MckKNEO4I?...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
December 4, 2025 at 10:05 PM
I mean, when you think about it, A CHRISTMAS CAROL and PAC-MAN are basically the same story.
The reboot seems much better than the original.
December 4, 2025 at 4:10 PM
CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTION #312:

Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.

At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.

Links in the link:
A Dark Hole Darkly
Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
www.drewmelbourne.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
That's across two years (pre-orders went up in January 2024, through the release window of the paperback, holidays 2025). I have no fucking idea how less visible authors do it.

static.macmillan.com/static/smp/s...
I’m Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
From the New York Times bestselling author of John Dies at the End—an absolutely hilarious and brilliantly weird new standalone novel
static.macmillan.com
December 1, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
“When participants used ChatGPT to draft essays, brain scans revealed a 47% drop in neural connectivity across regions associated with memory, language, & critical reasoning.

Their brains worked less, but they felt just as engaged—a kind of metacognitive mirage.”🧪
December 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Alt text for those who need it. This is amazing.
December 2, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Here are some avoidable issues that may upset autistic people to the point of self-injury or aggression, yet parents or caregivers might be told such behavior is “just autism,” or that the autistic person needs behavioral conditioning therapy. At TPGA:

thinkingautismguide.com/2022/01/auti... 1/
Autism Checklist of DOOM
Our autism checklist of doom is meant to help people the kinds of things that may upset an autistic person, ones that aren't always obvious.
thinkingautismguide.com
November 27, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Eleven years ago, I wrote to Tom Stoppard to ask about this coup de théâtre from 1949. It took me down an unexpected rabbit hole - in memory of Stoppard, here's what I found.
November 30, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Tired: Black Friday and Small Business Saturday

Wired: Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday

Inspired: Buy My Books, Bitches! Sunday

Get all 3 Darklingverse novels for $6, and/or 2 holiday short jams for $1.

itch.io/s/168938/bla...

itch.io/s/168934/bla...

#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm
Capitalism Time!

Get all 3 full-length Darklingverse books for $6. That's only $3 per laugh!* Only on itch

*Laughs not guaranteed but come on there's a dude named Dirk Largo ffs

#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday

itch.io/s/168938/bla...
November 30, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Dancer: Now would be a nice time to have a quiet nap by myself.

Kitten:
November 30, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Still More Capitalism!

Treat yourself to a pair of Red Darkling short jams for the holidays. Guaranteed* to put you in the holiday spirit. Only on itch!

*We all know this joke by now, right?

#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday

itch.io/s/168934/bla...
November 28, 2025 at 10:57 AM
All Skynet wanted was a chair.
Chinese Robot Sets Guinness World Record With 66-Mile Walk
The U.S.-China robot race is getting more literal.
gizmodo.com
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
The 11th day of Christmas will be a flashback, explaining how I met my true love and how she acquired all these trees/birds/rings/entertainers.
November 27, 2025 at 1:46 PM
Front half or back half?
November 26, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Me, explaining what a capella bands are to my 10yo:

"Um. A capella bands are a thing that happen in college where a bunch of kids sing a song and there are no instruments and their band name's a pun and however many a capella bands you think a college NEEDS, there are like DIVE TIMES that many."
November 25, 2025 at 2:38 AM
If you can't afford a book
Do. Not. Pirate. It.

Borrow a copy
from your local library.

If they don't have a copy,
Ask. Them. To. Buy. One.
Also, there is LITERALLY NO NEED to steal from us when public libraries exist. This whole argument is utter bullshit.
November 24, 2025 at 2:50 PM
"No, Charlie Brown, I Expect You To Die"
November 24, 2025 at 2:44 PM