Drew Melbourne
@drewmelbourne.com
Neurodivergent geek author of A DARK HOLE DARKLY, the Percival Gynt space-fantasy series, and the graphic novel ARCHENEMIES.
www.drewmelbourne.com
(he/him)
www.drewmelbourne.com
(he/him)
Pinned
Drew Melbourne
@drewmelbourne.com
· Sep 18
A Dark Hole Darkly
Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
www.drewmelbourne.com
His girlfriend says he doesn't have the temperament to solve his mom's murder.
She's probably right.
Don't believe the lies your TV tells you: Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
A DARK HOLE DARKLY
A Detective's Story
Out now in ebook and paperback.
#ADHDetective
💙📚⚡️
She's probably right.
Don't believe the lies your TV tells you: Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
A DARK HOLE DARKLY
A Detective's Story
Out now in ebook and paperback.
#ADHDetective
💙📚⚡️
Santa: And do you know the most famous reindeer of a--?
Our Kid: Dancer.
Santa: No. No, it's...
Santa: It's *Rudolph*
Our Kid:
Our Kid:
Our Kid: It's *Dancer*.
1/2
Our Kid: Dancer.
Santa: No. No, it's...
Santa: It's *Rudolph*
Our Kid:
Our Kid:
Our Kid: It's *Dancer*.
1/2
December 7, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Santa: And do you know the most famous reindeer of a--?
Our Kid: Dancer.
Santa: No. No, it's...
Santa: It's *Rudolph*
Our Kid:
Our Kid:
Our Kid: It's *Dancer*.
1/2
Our Kid: Dancer.
Santa: No. No, it's...
Santa: It's *Rudolph*
Our Kid:
Our Kid:
Our Kid: It's *Dancer*.
1/2
That's a nice routine you got there. It'd be a shame if somebody came along, followed it for a little while, it worked real good for them, they got really excited, but then it gradually stopped working for them.
December 7, 2025 at 2:28 PM
That's a nice routine you got there. It'd be a shame if somebody came along, followed it for a little while, it worked real good for them, they got really excited, but then it gradually stopped working for them.
Honest Titles:
A DARK HOLE DARKLY >>
Surprise! (You're Also Neurodivergent)
PERCIVAL GYNT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF DAYS >>
If Percival Ate Anyone, It Probably Wasn't His Fault
A DARK HOLE DARKLY >>
Surprise! (You're Also Neurodivergent)
PERCIVAL GYNT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF DAYS >>
If Percival Ate Anyone, It Probably Wasn't His Fault
Honest Titles…
The Audacity -> Maybe some problems can be solved by being abducted by aliens
Audacity 2 -> Oh, no, sorry, aliens have worse problems actually
3 -> Fuck, alien problems are terrifying
4 -> In which reality breaks completely spilling pirates, cowboys, and ghosts everywhere
The Audacity -> Maybe some problems can be solved by being abducted by aliens
Audacity 2 -> Oh, no, sorry, aliens have worse problems actually
3 -> Fuck, alien problems are terrifying
4 -> In which reality breaks completely spilling pirates, cowboys, and ghosts everywhere
If my books had honest titles:
Kotov Syndrome - I’d Love To Tell You I Moved On From My Ex But She Was A Net Benefit For My Mental Health Journey So Oops We Are Back Together
Woodpusher - Where Am I? And Who The Fuck Are All of You?
Opus - Girl, Delayed
Kotov Syndrome - I’d Love To Tell You I Moved On From My Ex But She Was A Net Benefit For My Mental Health Journey So Oops We Are Back Together
Woodpusher - Where Am I? And Who The Fuck Are All of You?
Opus - Girl, Delayed
December 6, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Honest Titles:
A DARK HOLE DARKLY >>
Surprise! (You're Also Neurodivergent)
PERCIVAL GYNT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF DAYS >>
If Percival Ate Anyone, It Probably Wasn't His Fault
A DARK HOLE DARKLY >>
Surprise! (You're Also Neurodivergent)
PERCIVAL GYNT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF DAYS >>
If Percival Ate Anyone, It Probably Wasn't His Fault
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTION #312:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
A Dark Hole Darkly
Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
www.drewmelbourne.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTION #312:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
I have an idea for a musical:
The first act is short and depressing and the second act is long, fun, and has all the best songs.
The first act is short and depressing and the second act is long, fun, and has all the best songs.
December 5, 2025 at 2:00 PM
I have an idea for a musical:
The first act is short and depressing and the second act is long, fun, and has all the best songs.
The first act is short and depressing and the second act is long, fun, and has all the best songs.
OMG! Netflix owns ANIMANIACS?!?
You know what that means, right?
"We're the Netflix brothers and the Netflix sister Dot! / Just for fun we run around the Netflix movie lot! / They lock us in the tower, whenever we get caught! / And then they insert ads and raise the subscription price a lot!"
You know what that means, right?
"We're the Netflix brothers and the Netflix sister Dot! / Just for fun we run around the Netflix movie lot! / They lock us in the tower, whenever we get caught! / And then they insert ads and raise the subscription price a lot!"
December 5, 2025 at 12:54 PM
OMG! Netflix owns ANIMANIACS?!?
You know what that means, right?
"We're the Netflix brothers and the Netflix sister Dot! / Just for fun we run around the Netflix movie lot! / They lock us in the tower, whenever we get caught! / And then they insert ads and raise the subscription price a lot!"
You know what that means, right?
"We're the Netflix brothers and the Netflix sister Dot! / Just for fun we run around the Netflix movie lot! / They lock us in the tower, whenever we get caught! / And then they insert ads and raise the subscription price a lot!"
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
In order to finish drafting this novel in under a month, how many times per day should I open Bluesky and check notifications?
December 5, 2025 at 4:05 AM
In order to finish drafting this novel in under a month, how many times per day should I open Bluesky and check notifications?
Oh, cool! The new trailer for KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS just dropped.
I love those novellas! Finally a GAME OF THRONES spinoff that isn't hip deep in inces--
youtu.be/P3MckKNEO4I?...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
I love those novellas! Finally a GAME OF THRONES spinoff that isn't hip deep in inces--
youtu.be/P3MckKNEO4I?...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
December 4, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Oh, cool! The new trailer for KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS just dropped.
I love those novellas! Finally a GAME OF THRONES spinoff that isn't hip deep in inces--
youtu.be/P3MckKNEO4I?...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
I love those novellas! Finally a GAME OF THRONES spinoff that isn't hip deep in inces--
youtu.be/P3MckKNEO4I?...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
I mean, when you think about it, A CHRISTMAS CAROL and PAC-MAN are basically the same story.
The reboot seems much better than the original.
December 4, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I mean, when you think about it, A CHRISTMAS CAROL and PAC-MAN are basically the same story.
CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTION #312:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
A Dark Hole Darkly
Sometimes neurodivergence makes you a much SHITTIER detective.
www.drewmelbourne.com
December 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
CHRISTMAS GIFT SUGGESTION #312:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
Instead of getting your partner with ADHD another self-help book, get them this ADHD detective novel that's all about embracing the parts of ourselves that can't be helped.
At Bookshop.org, Itch.io, and Amazon-I-guess.
Links in the link:
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
That's across two years (pre-orders went up in January 2024, through the release window of the paperback, holidays 2025). I have no fucking idea how less visible authors do it.
static.macmillan.com/static/smp/s...
static.macmillan.com/static/smp/s...
I’m Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom
From the New York Times bestselling author of John Dies at the End—an absolutely hilarious and brilliantly weird new standalone novel
static.macmillan.com
December 1, 2025 at 8:11 PM
That's across two years (pre-orders went up in January 2024, through the release window of the paperback, holidays 2025). I have no fucking idea how less visible authors do it.
static.macmillan.com/static/smp/s...
static.macmillan.com/static/smp/s...
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
“When participants used ChatGPT to draft essays, brain scans revealed a 47% drop in neural connectivity across regions associated with memory, language, & critical reasoning.
Their brains worked less, but they felt just as engaged—a kind of metacognitive mirage.”🧪
Their brains worked less, but they felt just as engaged—a kind of metacognitive mirage.”🧪
December 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
“When participants used ChatGPT to draft essays, brain scans revealed a 47% drop in neural connectivity across regions associated with memory, language, & critical reasoning.
Their brains worked less, but they felt just as engaged—a kind of metacognitive mirage.”🧪
Their brains worked less, but they felt just as engaged—a kind of metacognitive mirage.”🧪
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Alt text for those who need it. This is amazing.
December 2, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Alt text for those who need it. This is amazing.
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Here are some avoidable issues that may upset autistic people to the point of self-injury or aggression, yet parents or caregivers might be told such behavior is “just autism,” or that the autistic person needs behavioral conditioning therapy. At TPGA:
thinkingautismguide.com/2022/01/auti... 1/
thinkingautismguide.com/2022/01/auti... 1/
Autism Checklist of DOOM
Our autism checklist of doom is meant to help people the kinds of things that may upset an autistic person, ones that aren't always obvious.
thinkingautismguide.com
November 27, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Here are some avoidable issues that may upset autistic people to the point of self-injury or aggression, yet parents or caregivers might be told such behavior is “just autism,” or that the autistic person needs behavioral conditioning therapy. At TPGA:
thinkingautismguide.com/2022/01/auti... 1/
thinkingautismguide.com/2022/01/auti... 1/
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Eleven years ago, I wrote to Tom Stoppard to ask about this coup de théâtre from 1949. It took me down an unexpected rabbit hole - in memory of Stoppard, here's what I found.
November 30, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Eleven years ago, I wrote to Tom Stoppard to ask about this coup de théâtre from 1949. It took me down an unexpected rabbit hole - in memory of Stoppard, here's what I found.
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Tired: Black Friday and Small Business Saturday
Wired: Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday
Inspired: Buy My Books, Bitches! Sunday
Get all 3 Darklingverse novels for $6, and/or 2 holiday short jams for $1.
itch.io/s/168938/bla...
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm
Wired: Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday
Inspired: Buy My Books, Bitches! Sunday
Get all 3 Darklingverse novels for $6, and/or 2 holiday short jams for $1.
itch.io/s/168938/bla...
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm
Capitalism Time!
Get all 3 full-length Darklingverse books for $6. That's only $3 per laugh!* Only on itch
*Laughs not guaranteed but come on there's a dude named Dirk Largo ffs
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday
itch.io/s/168938/bla...
Get all 3 full-length Darklingverse books for $6. That's only $3 per laugh!* Only on itch
*Laughs not guaranteed but come on there's a dude named Dirk Largo ffs
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday
itch.io/s/168938/bla...
November 30, 2025 at 3:15 PM
Tired: Black Friday and Small Business Saturday
Wired: Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday
Inspired: Buy My Books, Bitches! Sunday
Get all 3 Darklingverse novels for $6, and/or 2 holiday short jams for $1.
itch.io/s/168938/bla...
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm
Wired: Cyber Monday and Giving Tuesday
Inspired: Buy My Books, Bitches! Sunday
Get all 3 Darklingverse novels for $6, and/or 2 holiday short jams for $1.
itch.io/s/168938/bla...
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm
Dancer: Now would be a nice time to have a quiet nap by myself.
Kitten:
Kitten:
November 30, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Dancer: Now would be a nice time to have a quiet nap by myself.
Kitten:
Kitten:
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Tom Stoppard, playwright of dazzling wit and playful erudition, dies aged 88
Tom Stoppard, playwright of dazzling wit and playful erudition, dies aged 88
A theatrical sensation since the 1960s, whose dramas included Arcadia, The Real Thing and Leopoldstadt, Stoppard also had huge success as a screenwriter
The playwright Tom Stoppard, whose playful erudition dazzled the theatregoing world for decades, has died aged 88.
One of a select band of writers from any discipline to earn his own adjective – “Stoppardian” – in the Oxford English Dictionary, he delighted in the most improbable juxtapositions: philosophy and gymnastics in Jumpers (1972); early 19th-century landscape gardening and chaos theory in Arcadia (1993); rock music, dissident Czech academics and the love poetry of Sappho in Rock ’n’ Roll (2006). Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
November 29, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Tom Stoppard, playwright of dazzling wit and playful erudition, dies aged 88
Reposted by Drew Melbourne
Still More Capitalism!
Treat yourself to a pair of Red Darkling short jams for the holidays. Guaranteed* to put you in the holiday spirit. Only on itch!
*We all know this joke by now, right?
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
Treat yourself to a pair of Red Darkling short jams for the holidays. Guaranteed* to put you in the holiday spirit. Only on itch!
*We all know this joke by now, right?
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
November 28, 2025 at 10:57 AM
Still More Capitalism!
Treat yourself to a pair of Red Darkling short jams for the holidays. Guaranteed* to put you in the holiday spirit. Only on itch!
*We all know this joke by now, right?
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
Treat yourself to a pair of Red Darkling short jams for the holidays. Guaranteed* to put you in the holiday spirit. Only on itch!
*We all know this joke by now, right?
#booksky 📢📚💙 #bsnm #blackfriday
itch.io/s/168934/bla...
All Skynet wanted was a chair.
Chinese Robot Sets Guinness World Record With 66-Mile Walk
The U.S.-China robot race is getting more literal.
gizmodo.com
November 27, 2025 at 5:03 PM
All Skynet wanted was a chair.
The 11th day of Christmas will be a flashback, explaining how I met my true love and how she acquired all these trees/birds/rings/entertainers.
November 27, 2025 at 1:46 PM
The 11th day of Christmas will be a flashback, explaining how I met my true love and how she acquired all these trees/birds/rings/entertainers.
Front half or back half?
A new study finds that about half of the physical variation seen in modern dogs existed during the Stone Age. n.pr/3MmIfM2
The origins of your dog's unique look may be older than you think
A new study finds that about half of the physical variation seen in modern dogs existed during the Stone Age.
n.pr
November 26, 2025 at 11:16 AM
Front half or back half?
Me, explaining what a capella bands are to my 10yo:
"Um. A capella bands are a thing that happen in college where a bunch of kids sing a song and there are no instruments and their band name's a pun and however many a capella bands you think a college NEEDS, there are like DIVE TIMES that many."
"Um. A capella bands are a thing that happen in college where a bunch of kids sing a song and there are no instruments and their band name's a pun and however many a capella bands you think a college NEEDS, there are like DIVE TIMES that many."
November 25, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Me, explaining what a capella bands are to my 10yo:
"Um. A capella bands are a thing that happen in college where a bunch of kids sing a song and there are no instruments and their band name's a pun and however many a capella bands you think a college NEEDS, there are like DIVE TIMES that many."
"Um. A capella bands are a thing that happen in college where a bunch of kids sing a song and there are no instruments and their band name's a pun and however many a capella bands you think a college NEEDS, there are like DIVE TIMES that many."
If you can't afford a book
Do. Not. Pirate. It.
Borrow a copy
from your local library.
If they don't have a copy,
Ask. Them. To. Buy. One.
Do. Not. Pirate. It.
Borrow a copy
from your local library.
If they don't have a copy,
Ask. Them. To. Buy. One.
Also, there is LITERALLY NO NEED to steal from us when public libraries exist. This whole argument is utter bullshit.
November 24, 2025 at 2:50 PM
If you can't afford a book
Do. Not. Pirate. It.
Borrow a copy
from your local library.
If they don't have a copy,
Ask. Them. To. Buy. One.
Do. Not. Pirate. It.
Borrow a copy
from your local library.
If they don't have a copy,
Ask. Them. To. Buy. One.
"No, Charlie Brown, I Expect You To Die"
November 24, 2025 at 2:44 PM
"No, Charlie Brown, I Expect You To Die"