Criag
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craigpsutton.bsky.social
Criag
@craigpsutton.bsky.social
Opinions are not my own. Send help!

Just tryna be a silly billy. I do stand-up, improv, sketch, and I'm a professional game designer.

My bangers feed:
https://tinyurl.com/nm3kyaav

My sketches here:
https://youtube.com/@teamlaundry?si=ZWIzuYFi5jM7V7_T
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Welcome to Craig's Bluesky page!

Estd. 2023

“Forever is composed of nows.”
They're paying me to say this, but I stand with McDonald's
November 28, 2025 at 5:46 AM
I can't believe my mom's podcasts was able to get my older sister as a guest!
November 28, 2025 at 5:10 AM
[Launchpad McQuack at the optometrist]

Doc: And please read that bottom line

Launchpad: I can't, it's all a duck-blur
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 AM
Share the 3794th pic in your camera roll no cheating
November 28, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Reposted by Criag
It’s beginning to thank a lot like sgiving
November 27, 2025 at 10:59 PM
I accidentally used the decorative towel to dry my hands and now I have to irish goodbye my grandma
November 28, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Reposted by Criag
The last of the original Garbage Pail Kids has died in custody
November 27, 2025 at 3:02 AM
"A new update to make your phone shittier is ready! Would you like to make it shittier now, or choose a time to automatically make it shittier?"
November 23, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Reposted by Criag
Did you know that this one acre of restored habitat can support up to 20 wedding announcement photographers
October 11, 2025 at 5:31 PM
Reposted by Criag
My wife is so cute I wish I could put her in my pocket and carry her around with me and so when I go to the bathroom I can just scroll my wife for 30 minutes
October 29, 2025 at 5:18 AM
Upper management is proud to announce that we are right-sizing this polycule. Security will escort you to pack up your yurts.
November 23, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Reposted by Criag
adorable if literal:moth balls
November 23, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Reposted by Criag
you'll never go wrong assuming the worst of a tech giant tbh
November 23, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Reposted by Criag
The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set
of footprints, my child, is when you upgraded to Jesus Premium."
July 4, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Fit check: a square peg and a round hole
November 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
My favorite kind of content is a quote post of a quote post of a screen shot of a quote post. It's like reading an onion.
November 22, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Reposted by Criag
It's that time of year
November 22, 2025 at 11:54 AM
I'm going disrupt the wheel industry by making an app that hires 4 near by gig workers to carry me to work
November 21, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Reposted by Criag
This candy tastes terrible. I better eat the rest of the bag right now to get rid of it.
November 17, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Reposted by Criag
I was excited to go to the cat cafe until I saw the only menu options were "wet food" or "dry food"
November 20, 2025 at 1:45 AM
[Van Halen with a revolver aimed at your feet]

Might as well jump!
*bang*
Jump!
*bang* *bang*
Go ahead and jump!
*bang* *bang* *bang*
Jump, boy! Hahaha!
November 20, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Social media has transformed the act of choosing to watch a movie into self-care
November 20, 2025 at 7:03 AM
I was excited to go to the cat cafe until I saw the only menu options were "wet food" or "dry food"
November 20, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Time to change into my nighttime pajamas
November 20, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Reposted by Criag
i thought i was ready to buy a new pair of slippers but then i got cold feet
November 19, 2025 at 2:07 PM