Revolver Ocelot is just the Tom Bombadil of Metal Gear.

I think I'm attracted to Gen Xers because Steve Burns is 52 now.

Just like me fr fr

Gender bending dinosaur, call that a Transceratops.

Nice trampoline.

Honestly fuck "Tesla," US Robotics made dial up modems and killer robots and they deserve the credit

Tesla robots haven't yet killed a single human being! Vaporware!

Such a great night!

Today I got up early and went down to Pike Place Market to buy fruit before the tourists descended, and there was salty breeze off the sound, and I was reminded of that Naguib Mahfouz quote "Home is not where you were born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease."

doctor: are you familiar with syphilis?

me: who cares about some guy pushing a rock, what did the test say

Wow there's dogs on this app now? that's so awesome

Ketamine capsules call that Subtracterall

hey all! if you follow me on twitter, you know the drill. as more and more people join this platform, i think it would be valuable to gather some demographic info. please repost this if you are a total dipshit, and simply hit the like button if you're only kind of a dipshit. thanks!

Ronald Reagan died 6969 days ago today. 1 reskeet is 1 piss on his grave

NOOOOO TURN TWITTER BACK ON I WAS A NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY

I'm kinda like if a MILF wasn't 30 yet tbh

i’m begging elon musk to purchase the company that has my private student loans, put them out of business due to stupidity please

Wrote about why there are so many autistic LGBTQ people, and how implying you can't be both is an attack on autistic people's very self-determination.

https://thehill.com/homenews/lgbtq/4069745-autistic-lgbtq-community-seeks-louder-voice-in-debate/

Wizard Wednesday 🧙‍♂️

David Mattingly

when you identify with a post

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Your account appears to have tweeted "you tellin me a shrimp fried this rice???" 147 times on June 27, 2023. You know how shrimp-fried rice works.

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Idk but it's genius mode