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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 1h

I slept all afternoon so that helped. First one of these bugs I've had since 2018. I'd rather I get them than her. She doesn't have the lungs and heart for it.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 1h

I appear to have come down with some sort of 'flu-like bug over the last 24 hours. Barely slept last night because of aches, chills and sweats. Still, time to man up and take my wife out for her 60th birthday today.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 9h

Yikes

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Chris Orton @chriso1.bsky.social · 1d

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planetmatt @planetmatt.bsky.social · 1d

Hang it in the Louvre. No wait, probably best you don't do that.

Spelling Mistakes Cost Lives @darrencullen.bsky.social · Aug 7

Did a new one

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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 2d

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Nurse:
It’s become a real problem in this area

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Nurse:
We’ve seen the whole community lost to addiction

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Show a building sign posted:
Westminster ‘X’ Addiction Clinic
With various Westminster people or looking at their phones outside it

Nurse:
Ministers, Spads, Researchers…

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Nurse:
Most mornings we’ll get a call about someone acting strangely

[Nurse on phone taking a call]
Ok - we’ll be right over

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Nurse:
We just have a gentle chat

[Nurses approach a minister –Robert Jenrick? - standing in the Palace of Westminster

Minister:
I understand your concerns…

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Nurse:
Are you OK love?

Minister:
Yes I’m just hearing legitimate concerns from real voters

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Nurse:
That’s a robot, a Nazi and a poorly-disguised Russian

[Show that the people he is talking to are precisely these characters]

Nurse 2:
Give us your phone, love

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Nurse:
At the clinic we put them in a Grass-Touching Pod, with a real voter to talk to

[We see them back at the clinic, holding the minister's head and pushing him into a glass isolation booth with a grass floor. And it is a baffled looking woman, on a chair, ready to talk to him.]

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Minister:
YOU MUST BE WORRIED ABOUT THE COMING CIVIL WAR

[woman looks baffled]

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woman:
I just want a bus service

Minister:
LOOK AT MY FLAG
[produces a St George's flag]

[ends]

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James Chalmers @jameschalmers.bsky.social · 1d

This remains the funniest way to hear about an internet outage, though.

Denise C.
@SpudBenBean
·
Follow
A woman who rang ABC Sydney radio said she found out about the Optus outage from her cat.

The cat has an automatic wi-fi feeder (connected to Optus) & when breakfast wasn't delivered at 6:10 am, the cat went to the bedroom to lodge a complaint with management.

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Reuters @reuters.com · 1d

EU agrees to gradually end Russian gas imports by January 1, 2028 reut.rs/4ozxGDv

EU agrees to gradually end Russian gas imports by January 1, 2028

The European Union 's energy ministers on Monday backed the bloc's proposals to phase out Russian oil and gas imports by January 2028, the Council of the European Union said on Monday.

reut.rs

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Lee Harveryscary @valleyguitarist.bsky.social · 1d

There are three kinds of people in this world. Avoid them at all costs.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 1d

"I'm famished. Fancy a Pisa?"

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 1d

Side quest incoming.

Martin Nutbeem @martinnutbeem.bsky.social · 1d

Autumn in Narnia.

Morning.

Monday then.

A Victorian lamppost lit up in a park. It's light is reflected on the wet pathway. Fallen leaves litter the floor, trees line the path.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

After lunch, a walk around a cider and chestnut fair in a nearby town that retains its medieval feel. The chestnut man takes his work seriously.

Two men operate a large furnace, grilling chestnuts.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

Out for lunch today, for a traditional roast dinner at a British-run restaurant in an old mill. Three courses for 28 Euros or two courses for 22. Garlic mushrooms for me and then roast beef with all the trimmings, including an excellent Yorkshire pudding.

A willow tree hangs its branches towards a calm mill pond in autumn light.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

Several men with dogs would need to find alternative places to lean.

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 4d

One of the worst ways your mustache can be described is "horrible little"

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Jay Rigdon @jayrigdon.bsky.social · 2d

Not sure the folks at NBC/Peacock thought this one through

Two announcers, Jason Garrett and Dan Hicks, stand in front of a sign that reads "Big Turd" thanks to how they are blocking it

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

We currently have between 500-1000 roosting in the hedge next to our bedroom each night. It's lovely watching them fly in at dusk. The amount of crap they produce is staggering and they're less than happy with the human who has to walk past them to get to the barn. Only been pooped on once so far.

Chloe Cumming @chloecumming.bsky.social · 2d

One Starling's going one way, the other Starling's going the other way

Eleanor @eleanorlanewriter.bsky.social · 3d

Perhaps you need a pair of starlings? #birds #EastCoastKin

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

Probably why he doesn't tour.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

It's one we've visited several times before and thoroughly enjoyed. They also didn't sound like they were doing me a fucking favour when I made the booking.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

It's my wife's significant birthday next week, so I booked a local restaurant run by a famous chef. My wife just checked the menu and I've cancelled. Wasn't in the mood for pig's trotters. A less famous but most excellent alternative has been booked instead...

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 2d

You look splendid, missus.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 3d

Have you informed the police of this robbery?

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 4d

Played in the first tech test and it was amazing. The robots are terrifying.

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 4d

Seen here surrounded by his closest friends?

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PermaConfused @permaconfused.bsky.social · 5d

Muscles to be proud of.

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