Nicole Yates
@yatesytime.bsky.social
Standup Comic. Pre-WGA writer. Food fiend. Cat Mom. Philly Everything. #pleasestaffme
Pinned
Nicole Yates
@yatesytime.bsky.social
· Dec 17
Listening to REM’s “It’s the End of the World As We Know It” in the car. When hitting the “and after the “I feel fine” part, I’m pretty sure you are supposed to weep real hard, right?
Linda McMahon’s “final project” is gonna be turning all junior highs into WWE training centers.
March 6, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Linda McMahon’s “final project” is gonna be turning all junior highs into WWE training centers.
I keep trying to put my finger on what this whole presidency so far feels like. I finally got it. Remember those “going out of business, everything must go” furniture ads from the 80’s? It’s that.
March 5, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I keep trying to put my finger on what this whole presidency so far feels like. I finally got it. Remember those “going out of business, everything must go” furniture ads from the 80’s? It’s that.
Finally a bright spot in this trash fire world: @drewfromtv.bsky.social’s Drew Carey show is finally streaming! I’m catching it on its own channel via Amazon Live but I bet it’ll pop up other places! One of my faves & Drew is the most standupest dudes from standup!
February 25, 2025 at 7:09 AM
Finally a bright spot in this trash fire world: @drewfromtv.bsky.social’s Drew Carey show is finally streaming! I’m catching it on its own channel via Amazon Live but I bet it’ll pop up other places! One of my faves & Drew is the most standupest dudes from standup!
He has very good ideas on the deficit and how chaos can wake people up.
gritty has seized control of the federal government
February 24, 2025 at 1:09 AM
He has very good ideas on the deficit and how chaos can wake people up.
Reposted by Nicole Yates
Don't worry- we renamed him The Pope of America.
February 22, 2025 at 10:25 PM
Don't worry- we renamed him The Pope of America.
All of my younger friends are getting married and engaged and I feel like a happy older sister for them and a very single older sister for me.
February 22, 2025 at 3:37 AM
All of my younger friends are getting married and engaged and I feel like a happy older sister for them and a very single older sister for me.
Saw a dude on a dating app saying he’s looking for someone with “attention to detail”. He fired me before I could even swipe left.
February 19, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Saw a dude on a dating app saying he’s looking for someone with “attention to detail”. He fired me before I could even swipe left.
Reposted by Nicole Yates
Imagine being rich enough to do anything you want and choosing to take food and medicine from starving children to give yourself even more money.
February 18, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Imagine being rich enough to do anything you want and choosing to take food and medicine from starving children to give yourself even more money.
This SNL music special is pretty cool. I’ve never seen so many white guys clapping off beat since before the pandemic.
February 16, 2025 at 6:24 AM
This SNL music special is pretty cool. I’ve never seen so many white guys clapping off beat since before the pandemic.
Reposted by Nicole Yates
NEW: Archived tweets for Gavin Kriger, Musk's 20-something DOGE employee wreaking havoc inside USAID, shows that Kriger has retweeted multiple neo-Nazis including Nick Fuentes, leader of the so-called Groyper movement, and another popular explicit Nazi account recently unmasked by @travisbrown.dev
Gavin Kliger, Elon's DOGE hitler youth shutting down USAID, is now indirectly responsible for the deaths of thousands of children. His Instagram appears to be @gkliger. He's scrubbing his online footprint.
Here's an archived copy of Kliger's resume: web.archive.org/web/20240418...
Here's an archived copy of Kliger's resume: web.archive.org/web/20240418...
February 3, 2025 at 6:06 PM
NEW: Archived tweets for Gavin Kriger, Musk's 20-something DOGE employee wreaking havoc inside USAID, shows that Kriger has retweeted multiple neo-Nazis including Nick Fuentes, leader of the so-called Groyper movement, and another popular explicit Nazi account recently unmasked by @travisbrown.dev
With everything going on these days, will having Del Amitri’s “Roll To Me” stuck in my head for a week be the straw that finishes breaking what’s left of my sanity?
Only the Shadow knows.
Only the Shadow knows.
February 1, 2025 at 10:55 AM
With everything going on these days, will having Del Amitri’s “Roll To Me” stuck in my head for a week be the straw that finishes breaking what’s left of my sanity?
Only the Shadow knows.
Only the Shadow knows.
Reposted by Nicole Yates
ICE Agent Decides He Wants Kids After Seeing Incredible Love And Devotion Of Parents Begging Him Not To Take Their Child
theonion.com/ice-age...
theonion.com/ice-age...
January 31, 2025 at 4:00 PM
ICE Agent Decides He Wants Kids After Seeing Incredible Love And Devotion Of Parents Begging Him Not To Take Their Child
theonion.com/ice-age...
theonion.com/ice-age...
They cut the Cheeto’s mic before he could name the real culprit of the crashes: people who have the end of the toilet paper in the back as opposed to rolling off the front.
January 31, 2025 at 9:01 AM
They cut the Cheeto’s mic before he could name the real culprit of the crashes: people who have the end of the toilet paper in the back as opposed to rolling off the front.
Reposted by Nicole Yates
I'm not smelling sex and candy so much as a metallic odor mingled with burnt toast
January 30, 2025 at 7:26 AM
I'm not smelling sex and candy so much as a metallic odor mingled with burnt toast
Reposted by Nicole Yates
Twitter Draft Tweet Files 3/18:
Things I Blame When Things Go Wrong:
- the humidity
- the economy
- Mercury in Gatorade
Things I Blame When Things Go Wrong:
- the humidity
- the economy
- Mercury in Gatorade
January 18, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Twitter Draft Tweet Files 3/18:
Things I Blame When Things Go Wrong:
- the humidity
- the economy
- Mercury in Gatorade
Things I Blame When Things Go Wrong:
- the humidity
- the economy
- Mercury in Gatorade
Anybody feel like Trump is playing MadLibs with his Executive Orders (and appointees)?
January 30, 2025 at 7:38 AM
Anybody feel like Trump is playing MadLibs with his Executive Orders (and appointees)?
As if Nicole Byer wasn’t already super cool, she wrote a great article on her love of cars in Car and Driver & where the hell small cars went. My first was a ‘97 Civic Hatch & I have a Honda Fit. Love a small car!
www.caranddriver.com/features/col...
www.caranddriver.com/features/col...
Nicole Byer Wants to Know: Where Have All the Small Cars Gone?
You might know Nicole Byer as an actor, comedian, and podcast host, but she’s also a dyed-in-the-wool car enthusiast who hopes one day to drive a DeLorean and a Suzuki Jimny.
www.caranddriver.com
January 30, 2025 at 7:24 AM
As if Nicole Byer wasn’t already super cool, she wrote a great article on her love of cars in Car and Driver & where the hell small cars went. My first was a ‘97 Civic Hatch & I have a Honda Fit. Love a small car!
www.caranddriver.com/features/col...
www.caranddriver.com/features/col...
Dear Mr. Scorsese,
I know Ray Liotta died but you can cast other people besides DiCaprio in lead roles. Please.
Please?
I know Ray Liotta died but you can cast other people besides DiCaprio in lead roles. Please.
Please?
January 23, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Dear Mr. Scorsese,
I know Ray Liotta died but you can cast other people besides DiCaprio in lead roles. Please.
Please?
I know Ray Liotta died but you can cast other people besides DiCaprio in lead roles. Please.
Please?
Reposted by Nicole Yates
I see that Melania chose to wear her Hamburglar hat to honor the criminals in the nation--and next to her.
January 20, 2025 at 5:15 PM
I see that Melania chose to wear her Hamburglar hat to honor the criminals in the nation--and next to her.
A white guy who grew up rich in South Africa during Apartheid threw multiple nazi salutes? How puzzling.
January 21, 2025 at 6:42 AM
A white guy who grew up rich in South Africa during Apartheid threw multiple nazi salutes? How puzzling.
As if things don’t suck enough, 4 Non-Blondes are reuniting so prepare for big stupid hats to appear
January 17, 2025 at 5:47 AM
As if things don’t suck enough, 4 Non-Blondes are reuniting so prepare for big stupid hats to appear
Looks like Denis Leary got his hands on Paul McCartney’s hair dye.
January 11, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Looks like Denis Leary got his hands on Paul McCartney’s hair dye.
Disney is donating $15mil for the LA Fires, but you have to sing “Whistle While You Work” to enjoy it.
January 10, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Disney is donating $15mil for the LA Fires, but you have to sing “Whistle While You Work” to enjoy it.
Seems like the 70’s are having their revenge, taking Jimmy Carter and Linda Lavin. Would somebody PLEASE keep an eye on Willie Tyler and Lester?
December 30, 2024 at 5:42 AM
Seems like the 70’s are having their revenge, taking Jimmy Carter and Linda Lavin. Would somebody PLEASE keep an eye on Willie Tyler and Lester?