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my crowning achievement for this entire year will be not killing myself. every day i turn into a worse and angrier person
November 29, 2025 at 8:32 AM
my crowning achievement for this entire year will be not killing myself. every day i turn into a worse and angrier person
if i ever write a memoir it’s going to be titled If I Kill Myself It’s All Your Fault. i call dibs on this. No one else can have it
November 27, 2025 at 10:37 PM
if i ever write a memoir it’s going to be titled If I Kill Myself It’s All Your Fault. i call dibs on this. No one else can have it
an extremely hot man in my neighborhood just matched with me after i tossed up what i thought was a worse than half-court shot
November 27, 2025 at 6:16 PM
an extremely hot man in my neighborhood just matched with me after i tossed up what i thought was a worse than half-court shot
i’m so tired of lying awake worrying about money because of some fuckhead moron who sucks at running a business
November 27, 2025 at 9:11 AM
i’m so tired of lying awake worrying about money because of some fuckhead moron who sucks at running a business
i haven’t been sleeping well lately and last night i kept thinking about how dogs don’t chase cars anymore. but it makes sense they would have chased cars in the early 20th century when cars were a new phenomenon. so have dogs evolved to know what cars are
November 26, 2025 at 9:16 PM
i haven’t been sleeping well lately and last night i kept thinking about how dogs don’t chase cars anymore. but it makes sense they would have chased cars in the early 20th century when cars were a new phenomenon. so have dogs evolved to know what cars are
saying “Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
Or what's a heaven for?” in place of “Shooters shoot”
Or what's a heaven for?” in place of “Shooters shoot”
November 26, 2025 at 6:27 AM
saying “Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
Or what's a heaven for?” in place of “Shooters shoot”
Or what's a heaven for?” in place of “Shooters shoot”
why is your face wet. were you in the sink again. God damn it
November 25, 2025 at 5:25 AM
why is your face wet. were you in the sink again. God damn it
have you ever heard a man in his mid to late thirties say into his cell phone: “she viewed my IG story like immediately bro”? I have
November 24, 2025 at 6:04 PM
have you ever heard a man in his mid to late thirties say into his cell phone: “she viewed my IG story like immediately bro”? I have
i’m not 40 but i do feel old enough for this which is why i started pretending my chickenpox scar is a beauty mark
My friend just fuckin showed up with a corncob pipe & that’s when it hit me that we are all in our 40s which means we get one new accessory slot
November 23, 2025 at 11:07 PM
i’m not 40 but i do feel old enough for this which is why i started pretending my chickenpox scar is a beauty mark
i bet this is a really good week to go to one of the always-crowded dim sum places, she said, attempting to communicate psychically with several men in the tristate area
November 23, 2025 at 10:45 PM
i bet this is a really good week to go to one of the always-crowded dim sum places, she said, attempting to communicate psychically with several men in the tristate area
THERE WERE NIGHTS OF ENDLESS PLEASURE
IT WAS MORE THAN ANY LAWS ALLOWWWWWWW
IT WAS MORE THAN ANY LAWS ALLOWWWWWWW
Never before or since have two men been more “meant to be” than Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman. Which is why Celine Dion’s version of “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” — indisputably to me a stone cold classic — such a triumph. Sometimes you outrun your own muse.
November 23, 2025 at 5:54 PM
THERE WERE NIGHTS OF ENDLESS PLEASURE
IT WAS MORE THAN ANY LAWS ALLOWWWWWWW
IT WAS MORE THAN ANY LAWS ALLOWWWWWWW
eating a whole box of orange tic tacs just to feel something
November 23, 2025 at 4:20 AM
eating a whole box of orange tic tacs just to feel something
just remembered with a shudder that i wrote a horny poem about the grand canyon once
November 22, 2025 at 5:16 PM
just remembered with a shudder that i wrote a horny poem about the grand canyon once
it’s all blending together today
My Sweet And Innocent-Looking Girlfriend Was Secretly Turned Into A Slut By Dirty Old Men Akari Neo
November 22, 2025 at 3:53 PM
it’s all blending together today
Reposted by RP
Me talking to my cat: I love you mister boy mwah mwah mwah
Me talking to other people about my cat: I call him Doctor Shithead because he's such an asshole
Me talking to other people about my cat: I call him Doctor Shithead because he's such an asshole
November 17, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Me talking to my cat: I love you mister boy mwah mwah mwah
Me talking to other people about my cat: I call him Doctor Shithead because he's such an asshole
Me talking to other people about my cat: I call him Doctor Shithead because he's such an asshole
Reposted by RP
Part Two is really the ultimate in “Well I don’t know what I was expecting” but I definitely want to read the RFK poems that are too explicit to publish.
November 22, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Part Two is really the ultimate in “Well I don’t know what I was expecting” but I definitely want to read the RFK poems that are too explicit to publish.
Reposted by RP
i could go for another yakuza jrpg right now
November 22, 2025 at 5:49 AM
i could go for another yakuza jrpg right now
my date tonight said “Yeah, you strike me as an early masturbator”
November 22, 2025 at 4:21 AM
my date tonight said “Yeah, you strike me as an early masturbator”
Zohran/Trump got my dad talking like Sephiroth again
November 21, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Zohran/Trump got my dad talking like Sephiroth again
Reposted by RP
DONALD TRUMP FIVE MINUTES AFTER MEETING ME: And, you know, the Game Awards, they gave Best Music to God of War instead of Xenoblade 3, and it was very unfair
November 21, 2025 at 9:20 PM
DONALD TRUMP FIVE MINUTES AFTER MEETING ME: And, you know, the Game Awards, they gave Best Music to God of War instead of Xenoblade 3, and it was very unfair
Reposted by RP
im not a big "my tax dollars" guy but i do look forward to a day where my tax dollars are no longer paying for GS-15 salaries for 40 year old comms guys to post HELLO, BASED DEPARTMENT?? from the offical twitter account of the US Bureau of Engraving and Printing
November 21, 2025 at 5:03 PM
im not a big "my tax dollars" guy but i do look forward to a day where my tax dollars are no longer paying for GS-15 salaries for 40 year old comms guys to post HELLO, BASED DEPARTMENT?? from the offical twitter account of the US Bureau of Engraving and Printing
Anyone ever figured out how to stop clenching their jaw all the time
November 21, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Anyone ever figured out how to stop clenching their jaw all the time
i hate donald trump like everybody else of course but deep down i feel an uncomfortable affinity with him because i too want to hear “i love you and i think you’re a genius” from everyone i interact with
November 20, 2025 at 2:55 AM
i hate donald trump like everybody else of course but deep down i feel an uncomfortable affinity with him because i too want to hear “i love you and i think you’re a genius” from everyone i interact with