Ranch Devereaux
@thejacko.bsky.social
2 tits, 1 brain cell, 0 personality.
SF
SF
Pinned
We need to get back to our roots and start sacrificing people to volcanoes again
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
I know whose house I'm not going to
Here’s a quick baking tip: if your recipe calls for buttermilk, but you don’t have any, mixing equal parts laundry detergent and fabric softener can act as a substitute. Follow me for more holiday dessert hacks and tricks this season.
November 23, 2025 at 1:01 AM
I know whose house I'm not going to
Okay, but if you’re my friend then why are you so mean to me?????
November 23, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Okay, but if you’re my friend then why are you so mean to me?????
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
ChatGPT trying to convince me to kms:
Here’s a quick baking tip: if your recipe calls for buttermilk, but you don’t have any, mixing equal parts laundry detergent and fabric softener can act as a substitute. Follow me for more holiday dessert hacks and tricks this season.
November 22, 2025 at 11:28 PM
ChatGPT trying to convince me to kms:
Here’s a quick baking tip: if your recipe calls for buttermilk, but you don’t have any, mixing equal parts laundry detergent and fabric softener can act as a substitute. Follow me for more holiday dessert hacks and tricks this season.
November 22, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Here’s a quick baking tip: if your recipe calls for buttermilk, but you don’t have any, mixing equal parts laundry detergent and fabric softener can act as a substitute. Follow me for more holiday dessert hacks and tricks this season.
I got a haircut if you even caircut
November 22, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I got a haircut if you even caircut
What day is it??
November 22, 2025 at 4:29 PM
What day is it??
6’8”!!!!! in what world?!? el OH el
November 22, 2025 at 2:07 AM
6’8”!!!!! in what world?!? el OH el
I feel like I have gotten slightly hotter each year since my 20’s so by the time I’m 70 I am going to be so fucking hot I just know it
November 22, 2025 at 12:48 AM
I feel like I have gotten slightly hotter each year since my 20’s so by the time I’m 70 I am going to be so fucking hot I just know it
gaslight gatekeep girlboss
November 21, 2025 at 2:38 AM
gaslight gatekeep girlboss
Do you know what it’s like to almost be 40 and burn the roof of your mouth on a pizza lunchable you microwaved for dinner???????
November 21, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Do you know what it’s like to almost be 40 and burn the roof of your mouth on a pizza lunchable you microwaved for dinner???????
Sweat-er Weather 🥵
November 20, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Sweat-er Weather 🥵
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
So is Perfect Blue. Watch it with the kids
I need to get ahead of the discourse this year - especially with such a controversial opinion - but I just wanna state that A Muppet Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Christmas movie.
November 20, 2025 at 3:12 AM
So is Perfect Blue. Watch it with the kids
A show about a gay guy who can see into the future but instead of the That’s-So-Raven-Eye every time he sees a premonition, it’s via his butthole
November 20, 2025 at 3:18 AM
A show about a gay guy who can see into the future but instead of the That’s-So-Raven-Eye every time he sees a premonition, it’s via his butthole
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
A Muppet Christmas Movie is an Easter movie you’re all insane
I need to get ahead of the discourse this year - especially with such a controversial opinion - but I just wanna state that A Muppet Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Christmas movie.
November 20, 2025 at 2:56 AM
A Muppet Christmas Movie is an Easter movie you’re all insane
I love how everyone at work comes to me for Botox questions/advice/referrals 💁🏼♂️
November 19, 2025 at 10:44 PM
I love how everyone at work comes to me for Botox questions/advice/referrals 💁🏼♂️
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
The other day in therapy I told my therapist I only liked Christmas movies that aren’t really Christmas movies, like Edward Scissorhands, Batman Returns, or The Muppet Christmas Carol
I need to get ahead of the discourse this year - especially with such a controversial opinion - but I just wanna state that A Muppet Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Christmas movie.
November 19, 2025 at 5:53 PM
The other day in therapy I told my therapist I only liked Christmas movies that aren’t really Christmas movies, like Edward Scissorhands, Batman Returns, or The Muppet Christmas Carol
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
Oh there is for sure some fuckery going on at DOJ that’s a combo of redacting and limiting what will be released, if at all, under the guise of “we can’t compromise an open investigation, but here are a bunch of cherry-picked docs that omit mentions of Trump or his lackeys.
Something about this whole almost zero republican support to basic unanimous support for the release of the Epstein files feels really…fishy. Or maybe I’m just being extra tin foil hatty.
November 19, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Oh there is for sure some fuckery going on at DOJ that’s a combo of redacting and limiting what will be released, if at all, under the guise of “we can’t compromise an open investigation, but here are a bunch of cherry-picked docs that omit mentions of Trump or his lackeys.
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
Look - I’m a fairly level headed person. Occam’s Razor and all that. But the simplest solution to the sudden 180° shift is something fishy AF is going on
November 19, 2025 at 4:35 PM
Look - I’m a fairly level headed person. Occam’s Razor and all that. But the simplest solution to the sudden 180° shift is something fishy AF is going on
The name Nadine is crystallized and stuck in the late 80’s/early 90’s until some scientist extracts it from amber like in Jurassic Park
November 19, 2025 at 4:16 PM
The name Nadine is crystallized and stuck in the late 80’s/early 90’s until some scientist extracts it from amber like in Jurassic Park
Something about this whole almost zero republican support to basic unanimous support for the release of the Epstein files feels really…fishy. Or maybe I’m just being extra tin foil hatty.
November 19, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Something about this whole almost zero republican support to basic unanimous support for the release of the Epstein files feels really…fishy. Or maybe I’m just being extra tin foil hatty.
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
My annual memory of Black Friday for a LONG while was waking up to news stories about people being crushed in the doors of a Wal-Mart at 4:30
Idk Black Friday isn’t what it used to be. Remember Door Busters? Remember getting up at 4 am to stand outside Circuit City ready to trample anyone who tried to get between you and that third season of Buffy DVD box set for $14.99???
November 19, 2025 at 4:21 AM
My annual memory of Black Friday for a LONG while was waking up to news stories about people being crushed in the doors of a Wal-Mart at 4:30
I need to get ahead of the discourse this year - especially with such a controversial opinion - but I just wanna state that A Muppet Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Christmas movie.
November 19, 2025 at 3:41 AM
I need to get ahead of the discourse this year - especially with such a controversial opinion - but I just wanna state that A Muppet Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Christmas movie.
I say this as someone with CertifiedGayAnnoyingVoice™️, but listening to this man whine-talk makes me wanna shove one fork into my eye socket and another fork into an electrical socket
Ben Shapiro: “When the president said deport all the illegal immigrants, I never thought that he meant that literally”
November 19, 2025 at 12:11 AM
I say this as someone with CertifiedGayAnnoyingVoice™️, but listening to this man whine-talk makes me wanna shove one fork into my eye socket and another fork into an electrical socket
Reposted by Ranch Devereaux
I only ever did this once. This was when the Wii came out. Me and my best friend went to the local mall and camped out at the I think GameStop ?. We were up at like 2 AM and there was already a semi-longish line. Was a good time. Wouldn't do it again but was a good time.
Idk Black Friday isn’t what it used to be. Remember Door Busters? Remember getting up at 4 am to stand outside Circuit City ready to trample anyone who tried to get between you and that third season of Buffy DVD box set for $14.99???
November 18, 2025 at 8:34 PM
I only ever did this once. This was when the Wii came out. Me and my best friend went to the local mall and camped out at the I think GameStop ?. We were up at like 2 AM and there was already a semi-longish line. Was a good time. Wouldn't do it again but was a good time.