Countdown to @theonion.com’s “Supreme Court Rules Constitution Unconstitutional” headline.
December 6, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Countdown to @theonion.com’s “Supreme Court Rules Constitution Unconstitutional” headline.
*Benny Hill music begins to play*
“I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus”
November 28, 2025 at 1:53 PM
*Benny Hill music begins to play*
The moment the son happens to see his dad’s name in the credits…
November 25, 2025 at 4:19 PM
The moment the son happens to see his dad’s name in the credits…
“How do we know who these people are?”
You’re pretending to be the fucking cops, dipshit. You fucking find out the answer to that question before you randomly stop people minding their own business.
You’re pretending to be the fucking cops, dipshit. You fucking find out the answer to that question before you randomly stop people minding their own business.
FOX: Here's a viral video of landscapers who were being addressed by a CBP agent. What do you say to people who say that falls outside the purview of getting criminals out?
GREG BOVINO: Martha, do we know the criminal records of those so-called landscapers?
GREG BOVINO: Martha, do we know the criminal records of those so-called landscapers?
November 17, 2025 at 10:20 PM
“How do we know who these people are?”
You’re pretending to be the fucking cops, dipshit. You fucking find out the answer to that question before you randomly stop people minding their own business.
You’re pretending to be the fucking cops, dipshit. You fucking find out the answer to that question before you randomly stop people minding their own business.
Not Sure How They Deal With Criminals In Your Town, But ’Round Here We Use A Restorative Justice Process
Not Sure How They Deal With Criminals In Your Town, But ’Round Here We Use A Restorative Justice Process
Well, well, well. What have we got here? Another city slicker who thinks he can waltz into my town and start causin’ all sorts of trouble. I’d be careful if I was you, fella. Because however they do t...
theonion.com
November 16, 2025 at 5:38 PM
What are other song lyrics @safety.bsky.app will ban you for posting/paraphrasing?
“I fought the law…”
“I shot the sheriff…”
“I fought the law…”
“I shot the sheriff…”
The account owner of @sarahkendzior.bsky.social was suspended for 72 hours for expressing a desire to shoot the author of an article. The post, made 11/10, stated: "I want to shoot the author of this article just to watch him die." 1/2
November 12, 2025 at 9:30 PM
What are other song lyrics @safety.bsky.app will ban you for posting/paraphrasing?
“I fought the law…”
“I shot the sheriff…”
“I fought the law…”
“I shot the sheriff…”
Reminder that Newby won his last election by 401 votes out of over 5.4 million votes cast.
In addition to helping flip the court, it led to his opponent running for Senate in the next election instead of Jeff Jackson.
In addition to helping flip the court, it led to his opponent running for Senate in the next election instead of Jeff Jackson.
NEW: Paul Newby, a born-again Christian, has turned his perch atop North Carolina’s Supreme Court into an instrument of political power.
Over two decades, he’s driven changes that have reverberated well beyond the borders of his state.
By @dougbockclark.bsky.social
Over two decades, he’s driven changes that have reverberated well beyond the borders of his state.
By @dougbockclark.bsky.social
“Biblical Justice, Equal Justice, for All”: How North Carolina’s Chief Justice Transformed His State and America
Paul Newby, a born-again Christian, has turned his perch atop North Carolina’s Supreme Court into an instrument of political power. Over two decades, he’s driven changes that have reverberated well be...
www.propublica.org
October 30, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Reminder that Newby won his last election by 401 votes out of over 5.4 million votes cast.
In addition to helping flip the court, it led to his opponent running for Senate in the next election instead of Jeff Jackson.
In addition to helping flip the court, it led to his opponent running for Senate in the next election instead of Jeff Jackson.
It’s cool how I used to be able to google something like “UNC WWSU basketball” and the first hit would immediately be the live score and stats of the game.
Now, I google the same thing and get AI results telling me the score of the game is whatever the final score was last time we played was.
Now, I google the same thing and get AI results telling me the score of the game is whatever the final score was last time we played was.
October 30, 2025 at 12:20 AM
It’s cool how I used to be able to google something like “UNC WWSU basketball” and the first hit would immediately be the live score and stats of the game.
Now, I google the same thing and get AI results telling me the score of the game is whatever the final score was last time we played was.
Now, I google the same thing and get AI results telling me the score of the game is whatever the final score was last time we played was.
She really asked “how is he going to treat all those people who are still in mourning from losing their lives.”
So here's Andrew Cuomo reacting to Maria Bartiromo wondering if Mamdani will "change the look of New York" and have Muslim women "completely covered up," telling her that Mamdani "doesn't understand New York culture" because he has "dual citizenship" and "he's a citizen of Uganda."
October 29, 2025 at 10:53 PM
She really asked “how is he going to treat all those people who are still in mourning from losing their lives.”
“No one has been able to prove that [guy who admits he has a Nazi tattoo] is a Nazi in belief, words or deeds…” is a helluva sentence to write.
October 29, 2025 at 10:11 PM
“No one has been able to prove that [guy who admits he has a Nazi tattoo] is a Nazi in belief, words or deeds…” is a helluva sentence to write.
Too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cook…
AI sitcom accidentally a Lynchian fever dream. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and insane lament.
October 29, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cooks, too many cook…
As someone who first became familiar with Bill Nye as the Speed Walker on Almost Live!, it has always been a bit surreal to see him become a leading scientific expert.
Nye: We are here to tell our lawmakers that what's going on in our government is
wrong. They must stop the abuses of this petulant president and his circle of sycophants. No thrones, no crowns, no king
wrong. They must stop the abuses of this petulant president and his circle of sycophants. No thrones, no crowns, no king
October 18, 2025 at 5:12 PM
As someone who first became familiar with Bill Nye as the Speed Walker on Almost Live!, it has always been a bit surreal to see him become a leading scientific expert.
Trump’s frivolous malicious prosecutions are obviously a mockery of everything this country is supposed to stand for. No doubt.
That said…
John Bolton?
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly amused by it.
That said…
John Bolton?
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly amused by it.
October 16, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Trump’s frivolous malicious prosecutions are obviously a mockery of everything this country is supposed to stand for. No doubt.
That said…
John Bolton?
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly amused by it.
That said…
John Bolton?
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly amused by it.
“Our parents aren’t having children…”
What, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck?
What, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck?
RFK Jr: "Today the average teenager in this country has 50% of the sperm count, 50% of the testosterone of a 65 year old man. Our girls are hitting puberty 6 years early ... our parents aren't having children."
October 16, 2025 at 10:55 PM
“Our parents aren’t having children…”
What, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck?
What, and I mean this sincerely, the fuck?
The Republican nominee in 7 of the last 10 presidential elections has been named George Bush or Donald Trump.
every republican president of my lifetime has completely destroyed the economy
More from ADP: The number of jobs created in August 2025 was revised downward from 54,000 to a loss of -3,000.
What's more, employment fell for the third time in four months, ADP said
#EconSky
What's more, employment fell for the third time in four months, ADP said
#EconSky
October 1, 2025 at 7:42 PM
The Republican nominee in 7 of the last 10 presidential elections has been named George Bush or Donald Trump.
We’re going to start blatantly committing copyright infringement and just assume we have your permission, unless you take affirmative steps to tell us we do not, kthxbye.
Exclusive: OpenAI is planning to release a new version of its Sora video generator, which creates videos featuring copyrighted material unless copyright holders opt out of having their work appear.
OpenAI’s New Sora Video Generator to Require Copyright Holders to Opt Out
Executives at the startup notified talent agencies and studios over the last week.
on.wsj.com
September 29, 2025 at 11:16 PM
We’re going to start blatantly committing copyright infringement and just assume we have your permission, unless you take affirmative steps to tell us we do not, kthxbye.
Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score
September 17, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Post a movie you like with a terrible rotten tomatoes score
Government Efficiency at its finest!
… did we just use an entire Marine Expeditionary Unit to arrest 11 drug smugglers for propaganda b-reel?
taskandpurpose.com/news/navy-sh...
taskandpurpose.com/news/navy-sh...
September 2, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Government Efficiency at its finest!
Something was posted on social media without evidence?!?! I am shocked! What is this world coming to?!?
Social media users, without evidence, pushed claims that President Donald Trump had died in recent days after not being seen publicly.
‘Is Trump Dead?’ Rumors Debunked As Trump Seen Leaving For Golf
Social media users, without evidence, pushed claims that President Donald Trump had died in recent days after not being seen publicly.
www.forbes.com
August 30, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Something was posted on social media without evidence?!?! I am shocked! What is this world coming to?!?
Pritzker is everything Newsom pretends to be.
Illinois Gov. Pritzker vows to pursue Trump officials who participate in an illegal National Guard deployment to Chicago:
"If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me - not time or political circumstance - from making sure that you face justice under our constitutional rule of law."
"If you hurt my people, nothing will stop me - not time or political circumstance - from making sure that you face justice under our constitutional rule of law."
August 25, 2025 at 10:06 PM
Pritzker is everything Newsom pretends to be.
It “works”? Based on what metric or accomplishment?
August 23, 2025 at 7:40 PM
It “works”? Based on what metric or accomplishment?
Conservatives: Mad they took Uncle Herschel off the Cracker Barrel logo.
Me: Mad they took Uncle Herschel’s Breakfast off the Cracker Barrel menu. Now where am I going to get catfish and eggs in a single meal?!?
Me: Mad they took Uncle Herschel’s Breakfast off the Cracker Barrel menu. Now where am I going to get catfish and eggs in a single meal?!?
August 23, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Conservatives: Mad they took Uncle Herschel off the Cracker Barrel logo.
Me: Mad they took Uncle Herschel’s Breakfast off the Cracker Barrel menu. Now where am I going to get catfish and eggs in a single meal?!?
Me: Mad they took Uncle Herschel’s Breakfast off the Cracker Barrel menu. Now where am I going to get catfish and eggs in a single meal?!?
You know they had to edit a whole lot of his shit talking out of it when he opened the door and saw them.
The White House posted an insane video of the police arresting the sandwich guy in a safe and wealthy neighborhood.
August 15, 2025 at 12:57 PM
You know they had to edit a whole lot of his shit talking out of it when he opened the door and saw them.