ryank
@ryantkelly.bsky.social
We live in a factory that produces death and destruction at an industrial scale
Reposted by ryank
ICE is younger than Songs for the Deaf, Turn on the Bright Lights and Kill the Moonlight.
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
January 12, 2026 at 8:13 PM
ICE is younger than Songs for the Deaf, Turn on the Bright Lights and Kill the Moonlight.
Reposted by ryank
This post is for like, six people. Good morning.
January 12, 2026 at 9:34 AM
This post is for like, six people. Good morning.
Oh baby Me and Ollie's wifi is terrible. I imagine this is probably an intentional decision. Also only 2.4ghz network offered.
January 9, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Oh baby Me and Ollie's wifi is terrible. I imagine this is probably an intentional decision. Also only 2.4ghz network offered.
Reposted by ryank
Reposted by ryank
I run a charity raising money to send porno mags to the moon so that kids growing up there can get a similar experience to finding them in the woods
January 3, 2026 at 12:28 AM
I run a charity raising money to send porno mags to the moon so that kids growing up there can get a similar experience to finding them in the woods
Reposted by ryank
Hey maybe the AI can fuck you, too
January 2, 2026 at 9:40 PM
Hey maybe the AI can fuck you, too
These are my people
Folks, she brought a whole plate of spaghetti to the broadcast center to do her headshot. She then houses that spaghetti.
Mattia sips on an espresso during his.
Truly the heroes we need during these times.
Mattia sips on an espresso during his.
Truly the heroes we need during these times.
January 2, 2026 at 3:11 PM
These are my people
Thank you to all the people that made this intro, you brought joy to me in the future
December 31, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Thank you to all the people that made this intro, you brought joy to me in the future
Reposted by ryank
One of the best to ever do it
December 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
One of the best to ever do it
Reposted by ryank
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
![mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it]
mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it]
DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently]
mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage]
DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreicpeii4u2iirkgscaerpb5tltbs4ohykg2obbvchzo56pjzo4juie@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf]
DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch]
mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car]
DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue]
mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over]
DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreid5fec634tvopl2nybom2l7yrys7hrqbgrpq5gneukqiwt3zm44qu@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine]
DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11]
mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it]
DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint]
mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door]
DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape]
mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreihgywpjsvklyn2mdkfnvn2e4rknldwwa6brmtfkfkrpimkjj76tp4@jpeg)
![DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent]
mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string]
DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud]
mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter]
DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying]
mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose]
DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreifw77g6afsgy7rhshwknw4kcdgujwj4al6ymbwiawohrn6wc5hpme@jpeg)
December 26, 2024 at 9:16 PM
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
Cheez-It Sampling Bar, featuring 10 different flavors of Cheez-Its
December 30, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Important news for the Bluesky userbase (37-year-olds who went to the free Prospect Park shows every summer): Wolf Parade has the No. 1 song on Spotify right now because it's in the gay hockey movie.
December 22, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Reposted by ryank
If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...
December 22, 2025 at 5:58 PM
If you pay attention to any large industry long enough and follow it to its logical conclusion you eventually end up sounding like a communist even if you started off testing CPU case fans. youtu.be/cUrJVdF2me0?...
no kitchen sink so i am forced to eat cheese over the bathroom sink like some sort of animal
December 22, 2025 at 6:18 PM
no kitchen sink so i am forced to eat cheese over the bathroom sink like some sort of animal
woke up from a nap with the anglo-saxons stuck in my head, been listening on a loop now, need to go hijack a karaoke night lock the doors from the outside and scream it to those trapped with me until the fire department drives an engine through the wall to release everyone
December 19, 2025 at 9:01 PM
woke up from a nap with the anglo-saxons stuck in my head, been listening on a loop now, need to go hijack a karaoke night lock the doors from the outside and scream it to those trapped with me until the fire department drives an engine through the wall to release everyone
FYI NH voters there is a progressive candidate running in the Dem primary, maybe things can be better.
Trump is steering us toward another disastrous foreign war: endangering our troops, harming Venezuelans, and adding trillions to our national debt. War profiteers in both parties are enabling it as millions stand to suffer. May God help us all.
December 18, 2025 at 9:22 PM
FYI NH voters there is a progressive candidate running in the Dem primary, maybe things can be better.
Reposted by ryank
Hi, I'm the CEO of Glorbo, the company who enjoys near unprecedented goodwill in our field, I'm here today to talk to you about our pivot to using the Magic 8-Ball powered by children's bones that everybody hates, I've given myself psychosis listening to the 8-ball aaaaeeeeeiiiiooouuuu
December 17, 2025 at 9:06 AM
Hi, I'm the CEO of Glorbo, the company who enjoys near unprecedented goodwill in our field, I'm here today to talk to you about our pivot to using the Magic 8-Ball powered by children's bones that everybody hates, I've given myself psychosis listening to the 8-ball aaaaeeeeeiiiiooouuuu
work computer updated to macos 26 and oh my god why is everything rounded
December 16, 2025 at 2:49 PM
work computer updated to macos 26 and oh my god why is everything rounded
help doc i have this left handedness can you diagnose the problem
December 16, 2025 at 2:15 PM
help doc i have this left handedness can you diagnose the problem
Reposted by ryank
while i am in my photos library, great shot Amanda took of Sally Annis on the runup at Gloucester in 2011
December 15, 2025 at 1:29 AM
while i am in my photos library, great shot Amanda took of Sally Annis on the runup at Gloucester in 2011
I let my friend borrow my digital camera for NYIAS in 2003. Never really looked at the pictures. Cadillac 16 was there! FJ Cruiser looking pretty done. And whatever this Mercury concept was.
December 15, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I let my friend borrow my digital camera for NYIAS in 2003. Never really looked at the pictures. Cadillac 16 was there! FJ Cruiser looking pretty done. And whatever this Mercury concept was.
why the hell is there a "google drive: wrapped"? yes my wife and I worked on the budgeting spreadsheet a bunch and we updated margot's doctor details! wow amazing insights thank you.
December 12, 2025 at 1:26 PM
why the hell is there a "google drive: wrapped"? yes my wife and I worked on the budgeting spreadsheet a bunch and we updated margot's doctor details! wow amazing insights thank you.
Everyone engine swaps a Fiero, but no one swaps in a Northstar, stretches the body by a foot, and adds a Firebird hatch carsandbids.com/auctions/rGe...
1984 Pontiac Fiero SE - 4.6-Liter V8 and Porsche 5-Speed Manual Swaps, Custom Bodywork, Extensive Modifications
This 1984 Pontiac Fiero SE is for sale on Cars & Bids! Auction ends December 15 2025.
carsandbids.com
December 9, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Everyone engine swaps a Fiero, but no one swaps in a Northstar, stretches the body by a foot, and adds a Firebird hatch carsandbids.com/auctions/rGe...