Robert Hanley
@robertbhanley.bsky.social
Rambler of random ramblings and attempted purveyor of minor scribblings
He/Him
He/Him
“You there, boy, what day is it?”
“New Year's Day, sir.”
“Then I haven't missed-wait, New Year's?”
“Yes, sir. You've been asleep for a week.”
“And Tiny Tim? Is he…?”
“Dead. Whole city blames you.”
“… shit.”
“And some transparent guy in chains has been laughing his ass off on your doorstep.”
“New Year's Day, sir.”
“Then I haven't missed-wait, New Year's?”
“Yes, sir. You've been asleep for a week.”
“And Tiny Tim? Is he…?”
“Dead. Whole city blames you.”
“… shit.”
“And some transparent guy in chains has been laughing his ass off on your doorstep.”
January 1, 2026 at 6:13 PM
“You there, boy, what day is it?”
“New Year's Day, sir.”
“Then I haven't missed-wait, New Year's?”
“Yes, sir. You've been asleep for a week.”
“And Tiny Tim? Is he…?”
“Dead. Whole city blames you.”
“… shit.”
“And some transparent guy in chains has been laughing his ass off on your doorstep.”
“New Year's Day, sir.”
“Then I haven't missed-wait, New Year's?”
“Yes, sir. You've been asleep for a week.”
“And Tiny Tim? Is he…?”
“Dead. Whole city blames you.”
“… shit.”
“And some transparent guy in chains has been laughing his ass off on your doorstep.”
Starting the year off on the right foot:
January 1, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Starting the year off on the right foot:
Proud to announce I've been officially named People Magazine's three billion, five hundred and seventy-nine thousand, four hundred and third Sexiest Man Alive.
November 6, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Proud to announce I've been officially named People Magazine's three billion, five hundred and seventy-nine thousand, four hundred and third Sexiest Man Alive.
Reposted by Robert Hanley
Great day for Bronx Science
November 5, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Great day for Bronx Science
[running my ship aground to get to the Sirens] They're simply exercising their First Amendment speech rights in the sanctity of their own home.
[gesturing to Orpheus] Now it's a crime for a guy to look at his girlfriend?
[looking at Circe] god forbid women have hobbies
October 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM
[running my ship aground to get to the Sirens] They're simply exercising their First Amendment speech rights in the sanctity of their own home.
Describe a character in Greek mythology the way someone trying to defend a politician would.
Theseus: We need to stop with all these purity tests if we ever hope to win back power. You think any of the cretins we're up against care if their ship is still the same ship?
Theseus: We need to stop with all these purity tests if we ever hope to win back power. You think any of the cretins we're up against care if their ship is still the same ship?
Cronus: oh so you're never hungry? You never eat?
Describe a character in Greek mythology the way someone trying to defend a politician would. I’ll start.
Oedipus: Like you’ve never had sex with someone and regretted it later
Oedipus: Like you’ve never had sex with someone and regretted it later
October 25, 2025 at 4:55 PM
Describe a character in Greek mythology the way someone trying to defend a politician would.
Theseus: We need to stop with all these purity tests if we ever hope to win back power. You think any of the cretins we're up against care if their ship is still the same ship?
Theseus: We need to stop with all these purity tests if we ever hope to win back power. You think any of the cretins we're up against care if their ship is still the same ship?
"They cheated on a commercial. Those frogs hated Budweiser and they said they didn't. They actually preferred Coors Light. 'Tap the Rockies,' that's what they used to say. They'd come into the restaurant in Trump Tower and say 'Tap the Rockies for us, Mr. Trump'. Can you believe it?"
Trump: "They cheated on a commercial. Ronald Reagan loved tariffs and they said he didn't. And I guess it was AI or something. They cheated badly. Canada got caught cheating on a commercial. Can you believe it?"
October 25, 2025 at 5:47 AM
"They cheated on a commercial. Those frogs hated Budweiser and they said they didn't. They actually preferred Coors Light. 'Tap the Rockies,' that's what they used to say. They'd come into the restaurant in Trump Tower and say 'Tap the Rockies for us, Mr. Trump'. Can you believe it?"
Oh no, he managed to survive the Swifties and now he's challenging the kpop stans.
October 25, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Oh no, he managed to survive the Swifties and now he's challenging the kpop stans.
I have an idea for who they can get to cook the meal, though it's kind of hard to find her since she has no name.
U.S. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem on Monday criticized the media and politicians, including Gov. JB Pritzker, for “trying to demonize” federal immigration agents and she urged citizens to thank law enforcement officers and “cook a meal for their families.”
DHS Secretary Kristi Noem accuses Gov. JB Pritzker and media of ‘trying to demonize’ immigration officers
Speaking in Florida, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem criticized Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker and the media, and she urged citizens to thank law enforcement officers and “cook the…
trib.al
October 23, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I have an idea for who they can get to cook the meal, though it's kind of hard to find her since she has no name.
Reposted by Robert Hanley
MAD DOCTOR’S LOVE SONG
I shall be tied forever to the dead,
Reanimated flesh, life born again.
(Because I dreamed you up inside my head.)
The stupid, pesky villagers see red,
With pitchforks and with torches barging in:
I shall be tied forever to the dead.
I shall be tied forever to the dead,
Reanimated flesh, life born again.
(Because I dreamed you up inside my head.)
The stupid, pesky villagers see red,
With pitchforks and with torches barging in:
I shall be tied forever to the dead.
October 4, 2024 at 2:38 AM
MAD DOCTOR’S LOVE SONG
I shall be tied forever to the dead,
Reanimated flesh, life born again.
(Because I dreamed you up inside my head.)
The stupid, pesky villagers see red,
With pitchforks and with torches barging in:
I shall be tied forever to the dead.
I shall be tied forever to the dead,
Reanimated flesh, life born again.
(Because I dreamed you up inside my head.)
The stupid, pesky villagers see red,
With pitchforks and with torches barging in:
I shall be tied forever to the dead.
Reposted by Robert Hanley
And all the spooky scary skeletons and grim grinning ghosts will look up and shout "Mr. Purple People Eater, don’t eat me!"... and I'll look down, and whisper "Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?"
October 13, 2024 at 11:37 PM
And all the spooky scary skeletons and grim grinning ghosts will look up and shout "Mr. Purple People Eater, don’t eat me!"... and I'll look down, and whisper "Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?"
Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!
To shut down rude behavior instantly, try a simple yet powerful five-word response.
Use this 5-word phrase when someone is rude to you—it's like 'holding up a mirror,' says public speaking expert
When we encounter a rude person, our first instinct might be to fire back with a snarky comment. But that's not the right move, says public speaking expert John Bowe. Here's the perfect response to instantly shut down rude behavior.
cnb.cx
October 6, 2025 at 4:49 AM
Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!
Maybe there is something to astrology after all.
Aries: You only get one chance at life and what a terrible mess you’re making of it.
September 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Maybe there is something to astrology after all.
"Describe a favorite movie in the most misleading way possible."
A group of rare-antique enthusiasts hang out and get to know each other better.
A group of rare-antique enthusiasts hang out and get to know each other better.
June 13, 2025 at 6:23 AM
"Describe a favorite movie in the most misleading way possible."
A group of rare-antique enthusiasts hang out and get to know each other better.
A group of rare-antique enthusiasts hang out and get to know each other better.
For the love of God whatever you do, don’t ask Mr. Owl.
how many balloons to make baby float but not fly away
June 4, 2025 at 3:20 AM
For the love of God whatever you do, don’t ask Mr. Owl.
“I was neat, clean, swabbed and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it. I was everything the well-maintained boat ought to be. I was calling on four million dollars.”
I saw this guy the other day and thought he needed a cigarette since he's obviously a private detective who lives in a marina because he's ALREADY A BOAT. His name is Kristopher Clues and he can help you figure out the mystery.
June 3, 2025 at 1:55 AM
“I was neat, clean, swabbed and sober, and I didn’t care who knew it. I was everything the well-maintained boat ought to be. I was calling on four million dollars.”
Bees are on the Whatcom?
Millions of pollinating bees are swarming in Whatcom County after a commercial vehicle rolled over Friday morning near Lynden, according to the Whatcom County Sheriff’s Department.
250 million bees on the loose after commercial vehicle accident near Lynden | Cascadia Daily News
Section of Weidkamp Road closed due to incident
www.cascadiadaily.com
May 31, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Bees are on the Whatcom?
Wow, I never knew this about him. And I thought it was impressive when one became a teacher.
May 30, 2025 at 3:09 AM
Wow, I never knew this about him. And I thought it was impressive when one became a teacher.
Reposted by Robert Hanley
This comment period ends today, 5/23, at 11:59 pm ET. Please do comment asap if you believe the government should allow us to get COVID vaccinations. I can't believe we even have to petition them about this, but here we are.
GUYS. The comment period for this ends in THREE DAYS. PLEASE if you have even a little bit of time, submit a comment here: www.regulations.gov/commenton/FD...
Let them know EVERYONE should be able to get COVID vaccines. They BACK DOWN when WE PUSH BACK. www.statnews.com/2025/05/20/f...
Let them know EVERYONE should be able to get COVID vaccines. They BACK DOWN when WE PUSH BACK. www.statnews.com/2025/05/20/f...
FDA will limit Covid vaccines to people over 65 or at high risk of serious illness, leaders say
The FDA announced it will limit access to Covid-19 vaccines going forward to people 65 and older and others at high risk of serious illness
www.statnews.com
May 23, 2025 at 4:46 PM
This comment period ends today, 5/23, at 11:59 pm ET. Please do comment asap if you believe the government should allow us to get COVID vaccinations. I can't believe we even have to petition them about this, but here we are.
I know you’ve wanted me to say
A lot of messed up rightwing shit and spread a bunch of hate
Since you heard that there’d be a conclave
Where lots of boys in fancy hats vote several times a day
(1/)
A lot of messed up rightwing shit and spread a bunch of hate
Since you heard that there’d be a conclave
Where lots of boys in fancy hats vote several times a day
(1/)
I keep thinking “WOKE MARXIST POPE” to the tune of Pink Pony Club
May 10, 2025 at 8:57 PM
I know you’ve wanted me to say
A lot of messed up rightwing shit and spread a bunch of hate
Since you heard that there’d be a conclave
Where lots of boys in fancy hats vote several times a day
(1/)
A lot of messed up rightwing shit and spread a bunch of hate
Since you heard that there’d be a conclave
Where lots of boys in fancy hats vote several times a day
(1/)
The average American has one friend.
May 2, 2025 at 4:42 AM
The average American has one friend.
APRIL 11TH: A PARTIALLY VESTURED PONTIFF SITS BY THE RESTORED TOMB AND SCREAMS FOR THIRTY SECONDS BEFORE VANISHING…
Two art restorers were putting the final touches on a months-long restoration of the tomb of Pope Urban VIII, who in 1626 consecrated St. Peter’s Basilica, when the convalescing Pope Francis appeared, unannounced, in a wheelchair — his third such surprise appearance in less than a week.
Pope makes another surprise appearance at St. Peter's, greeting restorers of papal tombs
Two art restorers were putting the final touches on a months-long restoration of the tomb of Pope Urban VIII, who in 1626 consecrated St.
bit.ly
April 12, 2025 at 2:45 AM
APRIL 11TH: A PARTIALLY VESTURED PONTIFF SITS BY THE RESTORED TOMB AND SCREAMS FOR THIRTY SECONDS BEFORE VANISHING…
Reposted by Robert Hanley
If you’re a North Carolinian, you can check whether your name or the names of anyone you know is on the list of the 65K voters whose votes may be tossed. You could have an opportunity to fix it if so.
thegriffinlist.com
thegriffinlist.com
April 6, 2025 at 6:37 PM
If you’re a North Carolinian, you can check whether your name or the names of anyone you know is on the list of the 65K voters whose votes may be tossed. You could have an opportunity to fix it if so.
thegriffinlist.com
thegriffinlist.com