Cryptid Wizard
@reirikr.bsky.social
Sort of a strange old hermit. Slutty in theory, but not at all in practice.
Pinned
Cryptid Wizard
@reirikr.bsky.social
· May 16
If you're a tankie, a TERF or a MAGA your opinion is automatically invalid as a matter of principle. Please go ahead and block me immediately.
Dietary restrictions are basically pro gamer moves to a good cook.
a man in a suit and tie says challenge accepted in a restaurant
ALT: a man in a suit and tie says challenge accepted in a restaurant
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 6:43 AM
Dietary restrictions are basically pro gamer moves to a good cook.
Were I President, every state function would be a meal. I'd hire a dream team of chefs from a diverse range of international cuisines, and use the universal magic of food to smooth the road of diplomacy. And I'd get some damn good food in the process.
Governments vs. Cultures, I'd argue. I still think sharing a meal is easily the best way to get people from wildly different cultural perspectives to find common ground.
November 25, 2025 at 6:32 AM
Were I President, every state function would be a meal. I'd hire a dream team of chefs from a diverse range of international cuisines, and use the universal magic of food to smooth the road of diplomacy. And I'd get some damn good food in the process.
Reposted by Cryptid Wizard
Governments vs. Cultures, I'd argue. I still think sharing a meal is easily the best way to get people from wildly different cultural perspectives to find common ground.
November 25, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Governments vs. Cultures, I'd argue. I still think sharing a meal is easily the best way to get people from wildly different cultural perspectives to find common ground.
NO I AM NOT BEING HYPERBOLIC. Sexual humiliation is a favored tactic in Chimp wars. Genital mutilation is one of their first moves in combat.
And Chimps are our closest living biological relative. Think about that. The animal most closely related to humans, is also the most brutally amoral creature in existence outside of Homo Sapiens.
November 25, 2025 at 6:21 AM
NO I AM NOT BEING HYPERBOLIC. Sexual humiliation is a favored tactic in Chimp wars. Genital mutilation is one of their first moves in combat.
Every single cultural group, ethnicity and especially nation state throughout the entire history of human existence has EXTREMELY dark chapters. Food is none of them. Food is what brings people together.
November 25, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Every single cultural group, ethnicity and especially nation state throughout the entire history of human existence has EXTREMELY dark chapters. Food is none of them. Food is what brings people together.
I swear to GAWD, if one more person suggests I try meditation. Bro, I get woken from DEAD sleeps in the middle of the night by panic attacks. If unconsciousness doesn't even help, what do you figure some bullshit woo "mindfulness" is gonna do?
November 25, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I swear to GAWD, if one more person suggests I try meditation. Bro, I get woken from DEAD sleeps in the middle of the night by panic attacks. If unconsciousness doesn't even help, what do you figure some bullshit woo "mindfulness" is gonna do?
The most fucked up thing about this is, RFK Jr. was at one point one of the most prominent environmental lawyers in the country. He actually did some REALLY good work in his youth. Lived long enough to become the villain, I guess.
Seems like every day some senator who voted to confirm RFK Jr is pissed off at him about something.
November 25, 2025 at 5:03 AM
The most fucked up thing about this is, RFK Jr. was at one point one of the most prominent environmental lawyers in the country. He actually did some REALLY good work in his youth. Lived long enough to become the villain, I guess.
Reposted by Cryptid Wizard
Intoning the Viking Prayer For Death at the start of each Teams Call to memorialize work killing me a little each day
November 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Intoning the Viking Prayer For Death at the start of each Teams Call to memorialize work killing me a little each day
Whole world is on fire, but BE NOT AFRAID. Dear Leader is focusing on the important things. Like getting Rush Hour 4 greenlit.
November 25, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Whole world is on fire, but BE NOT AFRAID. Dear Leader is focusing on the important things. Like getting Rush Hour 4 greenlit.
There is absolutely no level of stoned that would have prepared me for how ridiculous "Ouija Shark" was. Thanks, teen. I'll just be over here mopping up my melted brain off the floor.
November 25, 2025 at 3:52 AM
There is absolutely no level of stoned that would have prepared me for how ridiculous "Ouija Shark" was. Thanks, teen. I'll just be over here mopping up my melted brain off the floor.
"Donald Chamberlain" is actually a pretty good nickname too.
“If Trump thinks American voters hate war, wait until he learns how much they hate dishonor. … A bad deal in Ukraine would broadcast to U.S. enemies that they can seize what they want with force or nuclear blackmail or by pressing on until America loses interest.”
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/22/o...
www.nytimes.com/2025/11/22/o...
Opinion | Trump’s Neville Chamberlain Prize
www.nytimes.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:50 AM
"Donald Chamberlain" is actually a pretty good nickname too.
I'm thinking about the Maya Angelou quote "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maybe this is just my perspective as an autistic person, but it occurs to me there's an inverse of this concept too. "Don't assume someone is something they haven't shown you."
November 25, 2025 at 3:49 AM
I'm thinking about the Maya Angelou quote "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maybe this is just my perspective as an autistic person, but it occurs to me there's an inverse of this concept too. "Don't assume someone is something they haven't shown you."
"Would you like to donate a dollar for hungry kids?"
You are a multi billion dollar grocery corporation. YOU donate the fucking dollar.
You are a multi billion dollar grocery corporation. YOU donate the fucking dollar.
November 25, 2025 at 12:07 AM
"Would you like to donate a dollar for hungry kids?"
You are a multi billion dollar grocery corporation. YOU donate the fucking dollar.
You are a multi billion dollar grocery corporation. YOU donate the fucking dollar.
Reposted by Cryptid Wizard
Isn't it so weird to deeply know in your bones something obvious with no equivocation, for years and years, and then to one day see articles about people wondering if maybe the incredibly obvious thing you've known this whole time might be happening, as if the media is discovering it now??
“This is total armageddon for the online right. It’s looking like half of their large accounts were foreigners posing as Americans all along.”
Top MAGA Influencers Accidentally Unmasked as Foreign Actors
A new feature on Elon Musk’s X has given deeper insight into the online “America First” movement.
www.thedailybeast.com
November 24, 2025 at 4:54 PM
Isn't it so weird to deeply know in your bones something obvious with no equivocation, for years and years, and then to one day see articles about people wondering if maybe the incredibly obvious thing you've known this whole time might be happening, as if the media is discovering it now??
9 year old insisted I help her put on her corset. She's now in front of the mirror just absolutely PREENING about the tiny amount of cleavage it gave her 🤣
November 24, 2025 at 3:42 AM
9 year old insisted I help her put on her corset. She's now in front of the mirror just absolutely PREENING about the tiny amount of cleavage it gave her 🤣
Teen: "What about if I do these candy Turkey Legs for my project?"
Me: "They look like testicles."
T: "Come on, man."
M: "Would you prefer I let you go to school carrying a tray of chocolate nutsacks?"
🤣
Me: "They look like testicles."
T: "Come on, man."
M: "Would you prefer I let you go to school carrying a tray of chocolate nutsacks?"
🤣
November 24, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Teen: "What about if I do these candy Turkey Legs for my project?"
Me: "They look like testicles."
T: "Come on, man."
M: "Would you prefer I let you go to school carrying a tray of chocolate nutsacks?"
🤣
Me: "They look like testicles."
T: "Come on, man."
M: "Would you prefer I let you go to school carrying a tray of chocolate nutsacks?"
🤣
We've been broke for about a week, so 9 year old figured she'd just learn how to make tortillas herself 😂. Not bad, either. Shoutout to YouTube University lol
November 24, 2025 at 12:07 AM
We've been broke for about a week, so 9 year old figured she'd just learn how to make tortillas herself 😂. Not bad, either. Shoutout to YouTube University lol
Apparently Reba McEntire has a pretty solid fanbase within the Rap/Hiphop communities. That's kinda delightful.
November 23, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Apparently Reba McEntire has a pretty solid fanbase within the Rap/Hiphop communities. That's kinda delightful.
Random thought, but knifemaking actually works great as an allegory here. You only want the edge of the blade to be hard, full hardness results in fragility. 80% of the blade, and ESPECIALLY the spine and tang you want relatively soft. That lets it absorb blows and retain shape.
I'm starting to realize my entire philosophy for being a good dad is based on 90s TV dads. Phil Banks, Dan Connor, Benjamin Sisko. Men who were able to balance the warmth and softness necessary to raise a child in happiness, with the cold hard edge sometimes necessary to protect them.
November 23, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Random thought, but knifemaking actually works great as an allegory here. You only want the edge of the blade to be hard, full hardness results in fragility. 80% of the blade, and ESPECIALLY the spine and tang you want relatively soft. That lets it absorb blows and retain shape.
I'm starting to realize my entire philosophy for being a good dad is based on 90s TV dads. Phil Banks, Dan Connor, Benjamin Sisko. Men who were able to balance the warmth and softness necessary to raise a child in happiness, with the cold hard edge sometimes necessary to protect them.
November 23, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I'm starting to realize my entire philosophy for being a good dad is based on 90s TV dads. Phil Banks, Dan Connor, Benjamin Sisko. Men who were able to balance the warmth and softness necessary to raise a child in happiness, with the cold hard edge sometimes necessary to protect them.
Nevermind, the fates were just fucking with me again.
Fingers crossed, my luck may finally be turning around a bit. After a year and a half of looking, 9 year old found my missing tablet in her bed this morning.
November 23, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Nevermind, the fates were just fucking with me again.
If you want to do a natural birth that's fine, most likely you'll be ok if you don't have risk factors. But also be prepared to go to the hospital if anything starts to look like it's going wrong.
Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world
Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world
A year-long investigation reveals how mothers lost children after being radicalised by uplifting podcast tales of births without midwives or doctors
As Esau Lopez was asphyxiated for the first 17 minutes of his life on Earth, the atmosphere in the room remained serene, even ecstatic. Acoustic music crooned from a speaker in a modest two-bedroom apartment in a suburb of Pennsylvania. “You are a queen,” murmured one of three friends in the room.
Only Esau’s mother, Gabrielle Lopez, felt something was wrong. She was pushing hard, but her son would not be born. “Can you help [him] out?” she asked, as Esau crowned. “Baby is coming,” the friend replied. Four minutes later, Lopez asked again, “Can you grab [him]?” Another friend murmured, “Baby is safe.” Six minutes passed. Again, Lopez asked, “Can you grab [him]?” Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
November 22, 2025 at 6:14 PM
If you want to do a natural birth that's fine, most likely you'll be ok if you don't have risk factors. But also be prepared to go to the hospital if anything starts to look like it's going wrong.
Interesting observation, but all of the most explosive "influencer" scandals happened specifically over the last 10 years. I'm starting to suspect a massive culture-wide loss of grip on reality. Not just "concerning trends", but like, straight up deranged behavior from the whole population.
November 22, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Interesting observation, but all of the most explosive "influencer" scandals happened specifically over the last 10 years. I'm starting to suspect a massive culture-wide loss of grip on reality. Not just "concerning trends", but like, straight up deranged behavior from the whole population.
How much of a nerd am I? I call my teenager "Little One" like I'm goddamn Lwaxana Troi. 😂
November 22, 2025 at 5:45 PM
How much of a nerd am I? I call my teenager "Little One" like I'm goddamn Lwaxana Troi. 😂
I feel like the turning point for this disastrous turn the internet made was the tragic death of Grant Thompson. Young boys could have been learning mad science and chaotic engineering instead of misogyny.
November 22, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I feel like the turning point for this disastrous turn the internet made was the tragic death of Grant Thompson. Young boys could have been learning mad science and chaotic engineering instead of misogyny.