Ted Berg
@ogtedberg.bsky.social
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face
Reposted by Ted Berg
worst forest/trees problem in generations is that a canto is A SECTION OF A LONG POEM. THAT'S IT. YOU DIDN'T WRITE A CANTO BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THE WORD LOOKED COOL ON YOUR MEMOIR. CANTOS ARE POEMS. THAT LANGUAGE IS DYNAMIC DOES NOT MAKE YOUR SLAMBOOK A CANTO AMERICAN OR OTHERWISE
November 27, 2025 at 2:40 AM
worst forest/trees problem in generations is that a canto is A SECTION OF A LONG POEM. THAT'S IT. YOU DIDN'T WRITE A CANTO BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THE WORD LOOKED COOL ON YOUR MEMOIR. CANTOS ARE POEMS. THAT LANGUAGE IS DYNAMIC DOES NOT MAKE YOUR SLAMBOOK A CANTO AMERICAN OR OTHERWISE
@benjaminkabak.com can you tell Mamdani to bring back trash cans? Been walking around with an empty juice box for like six blocks.
November 26, 2025 at 7:30 PM
@benjaminkabak.com can you tell Mamdani to bring back trash cans? Been walking around with an empty juice box for like six blocks.
I used to not like any pies but now I like some pies. Been down on cookies lately but I think that’s largely due to recent cookie trends. At my core I am a doughnut guy. Some cinnamon buns rank among the top desserts, but there is, generally speaking, too wide a variance in cinnamon-roll quality.
November 26, 2025 at 2:06 AM
I used to not like any pies but now I like some pies. Been down on cookies lately but I think that’s largely due to recent cookie trends. At my core I am a doughnut guy. Some cinnamon buns rank among the top desserts, but there is, generally speaking, too wide a variance in cinnamon-roll quality.
Life is batting 1.000 in solar systems we’ve explored, so it would be ridiculously presumptuous to assume there are no aliens. Also very presumptuous to assume they would come visit during the 0.000001% of the earth’s history in which humans have been writing shit down.
New polling on aliens
% of U.S. adult citizens who believe the following definitely or probably exist:
Aliens 56%
Bigfoot 28%
The Yeti 23%
The Loch Ness Monster 22%
Chupacabra 16%
today.yougov.com/health/artic...
% of U.S. adult citizens who believe the following definitely or probably exist:
Aliens 56%
Bigfoot 28%
The Yeti 23%
The Loch Ness Monster 22%
Chupacabra 16%
today.yougov.com/health/artic...
November 26, 2025 at 1:58 AM
Life is batting 1.000 in solar systems we’ve explored, so it would be ridiculously presumptuous to assume there are no aliens. Also very presumptuous to assume they would come visit during the 0.000001% of the earth’s history in which humans have been writing shit down.
The 7th floor of my building smelled distinctly of bongwater for at least the last three years, then all of a sudden last week started smelling like tomato-basil soup. My wife thinks maybe the bongwater guy moved out but I say Jesus is here doing his greatest miracle yet.
November 25, 2025 at 2:24 AM
The 7th floor of my building smelled distinctly of bongwater for at least the last three years, then all of a sudden last week started smelling like tomato-basil soup. My wife thinks maybe the bongwater guy moved out but I say Jesus is here doing his greatest miracle yet.
Want my take on the Brandon Nimmo trade? No!? Oh.
November 24, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Want my take on the Brandon Nimmo trade? No!? Oh.
We don’t talk enough about how Jasson Dominguez is the Munch King.
November 23, 2025 at 3:45 PM
We don’t talk enough about how Jasson Dominguez is the Munch King.
Well they should obviously also do zoned residential parking like every other big city but apparently the parking garage lobby is incredibly powerful.
No street parking for out of state plates.
November 23, 2025 at 3:33 PM
Well they should obviously also do zoned residential parking like every other big city but apparently the parking garage lobby is incredibly powerful.
Reposted by Ted Berg
I know Chicago and Cambridge (MA) are installing cameras on buses that can take photos of cars parked in bus and bike lanes
November 23, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I know Chicago and Cambridge (MA) are installing cameras on buses that can take photos of cars parked in bus and bike lanes
Reposted by Ted Berg
NYC gets over a billion in traffic tickets every year and the estimated cost of free busses is $800 mil so I don’t think this is far fetched, plus “they’re ticketing Real New Yorkers so illegal immigrants can ride the bus for free” might actually make some outer boroughs shit heads stroke out
November 23, 2025 at 3:11 PM
NYC gets over a billion in traffic tickets every year and the estimated cost of free busses is $800 mil so I don’t think this is far fetched, plus “they’re ticketing Real New Yorkers so illegal immigrants can ride the bus for free” might actually make some outer boroughs shit heads stroke out
Not kidding when I say they should fund the free buses by actually enforcing driving and parking rules. Walk around any neighborhood of NYC for an hour and you will witness ~30 ticketable offenses. Everyone will get around faster if people follow the rules. Iron-fist it. Cameras on every stoplight.
Hochul has said she would neither support a plan that would deprive the MTA of a key revenue stream — fares — nor would she raise taxes to make up for the missing swipes.
Gov. Hochul Vague on Free Bus Plans As Her Open Budget Salvo Nears - Streetsblog New York City
Hochul has said she would neither support a plan that would deprive the MTA of a key revenue stream — fares — nor would she raise taxes to make up for the missing swipes.
buff.ly
November 23, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Not kidding when I say they should fund the free buses by actually enforcing driving and parking rules. Walk around any neighborhood of NYC for an hour and you will witness ~30 ticketable offenses. Everyone will get around faster if people follow the rules. Iron-fist it. Cameras on every stoplight.
If you’re looking to hire an experienced journalist who *won’t* watch RFK Jr. jack off on camera, my DMs are open.
November 23, 2025 at 2:16 AM
If you’re looking to hire an experienced journalist who *won’t* watch RFK Jr. jack off on camera, my DMs are open.
I want razor-sharp sideburns on Mike Trout by opening day
November 22, 2025 at 12:58 AM
I want razor-sharp sideburns on Mike Trout by opening day
Now imagine it was Andrew Cuomo
November 21, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Now imagine it was Andrew Cuomo
Reposted by Ted Berg
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
November 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.
Reposted by Ted Berg
If you don’t like the new mayor then get your own fuckin mayor alright?
June 27, 2025 at 3:25 AM
If you don’t like the new mayor then get your own fuckin mayor alright?
Welcome to Astoria, motorists. Make a U-turn wherever you want. Not in the mood to keep driving? That's fine, just throw your hazards on and get out. Your car will be fine there until you're done with your shopping. Oh, you want to parallel park in a parking spot? Fuck you, you fucking showoff snob.
November 21, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Welcome to Astoria, motorists. Make a U-turn wherever you want. Not in the mood to keep driving? That's fine, just throw your hazards on and get out. Your car will be fine there until you're done with your shopping. Oh, you want to parallel park in a parking spot? Fuck you, you fucking showoff snob.
November 20, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I get that Steve Cohen certainly had some say in signing Juan Soto, but it's weird how much talk there is about David Stearns' small-market discipline when just last year his team gave out the biggest contract in the history of professional sports.
November 20, 2025 at 1:55 PM
I get that Steve Cohen certainly had some say in signing Juan Soto, but it's weird how much talk there is about David Stearns' small-market discipline when just last year his team gave out the biggest contract in the history of professional sports.
Reposted by Ted Berg
Please share widely
November 20, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Please share widely
My daughter and her friend were pretending to be babysitters, babysitting their dolls. Both dolls broke their legs and needed to go to the hospital. They asked me to be the doctor, an alley-oop pass for a Simpsons reference no one in the room but me would get. Folks, I delivered.
November 19, 2025 at 2:29 AM
My daughter and her friend were pretending to be babysitters, babysitting their dolls. Both dolls broke their legs and needed to go to the hospital. They asked me to be the doctor, an alley-oop pass for a Simpsons reference no one in the room but me would get. Folks, I delivered.
I enjoy @nyc.streetsblog.org but this paragraph gave me pause. When was the last time “the East River Greenway” was a viable way to get downtown from the Upper East Side? 2017? (Also, getting uptown on First Ave. is way, way easier than getting downtown on Second.)
November 18, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I enjoy @nyc.streetsblog.org but this paragraph gave me pause. When was the last time “the East River Greenway” was a viable way to get downtown from the Upper East Side? 2017? (Also, getting uptown on First Ave. is way, way easier than getting downtown on Second.)
I used to think it wasn’t fair to exclude Curt Schilling from Cooperstown just for being an asshole, but now I think it’s hilarious. Literally the only reason he’s not in is that he’s simply too big an asshole, and no one else has ever been excluded for assholery alone. Pay the asshole tax, asshole.
November 18, 2025 at 2:40 AM
I used to think it wasn’t fair to exclude Curt Schilling from Cooperstown just for being an asshole, but now I think it’s hilarious. Literally the only reason he’s not in is that he’s simply too big an asshole, and no one else has ever been excluded for assholery alone. Pay the asshole tax, asshole.