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@mythical.pizza
Power Metalhead | Fantasy Slut | Hobby Dev | Crass Shitposter | Too Many Fursonas | Cat Dad | Last of the Pizza Warriors | ⛧ Professional Blasphemer ⛧ | NSFW 18+ Only
Dad of @tes-itemsbot.bsky.social
Dad of @tes-itemsbot.bsky.social
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Ghost: "-and I trained 25 years for this battle... only to be slain immediately..."
Me, looking for gold in the burial chamber but being like really casual about it: "Wow man, that has to be rough and whatever"
Me, looking for gold in the burial chamber but being like really casual about it: "Wow man, that has to be rough and whatever"
My enemy is in the crowd. But I always know where my enemy is. I throw my knife at him, but wait, it's a baby! How? Where did the threat go? Is he using the baby as a shield? I can't un-throw the blade!
The baby parries the knife. I gasp, as it rises up and equips a baby rattle warhammer. It's him.
The baby parries the knife. I gasp, as it rises up and equips a baby rattle warhammer. It's him.
November 11, 2025 at 2:56 AM
My enemy is in the crowd. But I always know where my enemy is. I throw my knife at him, but wait, it's a baby! How? Where did the threat go? Is he using the baby as a shield? I can't un-throw the blade!
The baby parries the knife. I gasp, as it rises up and equips a baby rattle warhammer. It's him.
The baby parries the knife. I gasp, as it rises up and equips a baby rattle warhammer. It's him.
*trying to think of a creative "go get em" saying for my tactical squad when deploying*
Alright boys, *racks shotgun* let's go eat some ass
Alright boys, *racks shotgun* let's go eat some ass
November 11, 2025 at 2:38 AM
*trying to think of a creative "go get em" saying for my tactical squad when deploying*
Alright boys, *racks shotgun* let's go eat some ass
Alright boys, *racks shotgun* let's go eat some ass
The Eternal Ass: I̷ ̸w̷i̷l̶l̵ ̶n̸o̴t̵ ̴f̴a̷r̸t̵ ̸u̷p̴o̵n̴ ̵t̴h̷o̴u̶,̵ ̵m̴o̶r̷t̷a̵l̶
Disgraced Knight: B...but why? It is said thou would'st rip upon the one that crests your mighty cheeks. And here I stand upon thy star, and you deny me what is mine??
Disgraced Knight: B...but why? It is said thou would'st rip upon the one that crests your mighty cheeks. And here I stand upon thy star, and you deny me what is mine??
November 11, 2025 at 2:34 AM
The Eternal Ass: I̷ ̸w̷i̷l̶l̵ ̶n̸o̴t̵ ̴f̴a̷r̸t̵ ̸u̷p̴o̵n̴ ̵t̴h̷o̴u̶,̵ ̵m̴o̶r̷t̷a̵l̶
Disgraced Knight: B...but why? It is said thou would'st rip upon the one that crests your mighty cheeks. And here I stand upon thy star, and you deny me what is mine??
Disgraced Knight: B...but why? It is said thou would'st rip upon the one that crests your mighty cheeks. And here I stand upon thy star, and you deny me what is mine??
A mighty blade, now that's what my neck needs struck upon it
November 11, 2025 at 2:25 AM
A mighty blade, now that's what my neck needs struck upon it
Reposted by Always logged in
Abraham. Do you blow your load at us, sir?
Sampson. I do blow my load, sir.
Abraham. Do you blow your load at us, sir?
Sampson. [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say ay?
Gregory. No.
Sampson. No, sir, I do not blow my load at you, sir, but I blow my load, sir.
Sampson. I do blow my load, sir.
Abraham. Do you blow your load at us, sir?
Sampson. [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say ay?
Gregory. No.
Sampson. No, sir, I do not blow my load at you, sir, but I blow my load, sir.
November 11, 2025 at 2:23 AM
Abraham. Do you blow your load at us, sir?
Sampson. I do blow my load, sir.
Abraham. Do you blow your load at us, sir?
Sampson. [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say ay?
Gregory. No.
Sampson. No, sir, I do not blow my load at you, sir, but I blow my load, sir.
Sampson. I do blow my load, sir.
Abraham. Do you blow your load at us, sir?
Sampson. [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say ay?
Gregory. No.
Sampson. No, sir, I do not blow my load at you, sir, but I blow my load, sir.
The cum of lords seepeth out of thee
November 11, 2025 at 2:19 AM
The cum of lords seepeth out of thee
Oihh.... elden ring
November 11, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Oihh.... elden ring
Getting assassinated by a duck
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Getting assassinated by a duck
Reposted by Always logged in
Ghost: "-and I trained 25 years for this battle... only to be slain immediately..."
Me, looking for gold in the burial chamber but being like really casual about it: "Wow man, that has to be rough and whatever"
Me, looking for gold in the burial chamber but being like really casual about it: "Wow man, that has to be rough and whatever"
November 9, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Ghost: "-and I trained 25 years for this battle... only to be slain immediately..."
Me, looking for gold in the burial chamber but being like really casual about it: "Wow man, that has to be rough and whatever"
Me, looking for gold in the burial chamber but being like really casual about it: "Wow man, that has to be rough and whatever"
I have huge tits, one arm, 13 noses and I’m missing a whole lotta blood hmu
November 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
I have huge tits, one arm, 13 noses and I’m missing a whole lotta blood hmu
The next elder scrolls game better have a mage hand spell that jacks me off to completion with how long it’s taking for development
November 10, 2025 at 5:24 PM
The next elder scrolls game better have a mage hand spell that jacks me off to completion with how long it’s taking for development
Reposted by Always logged in
Babe did you pay the tithe to the Sovereign Sorcerers?
November 10, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Babe did you pay the tithe to the Sovereign Sorcerers?
Reposted by Always logged in
such weekend webs we weave
November 9, 2025 at 6:28 PM
such weekend webs we weave
Reposted by Always logged in
Sorry I can’t go. I have horse rehearsal. I have rehorsal. We rehearse the horses, all kinds. Usually there are a few of us at rehorsal and everyone has different kinds of horse for it. For horse rehearsal. Rehorsal
November 10, 2025 at 4:04 AM
Sorry I can’t go. I have horse rehearsal. I have rehorsal. We rehearse the horses, all kinds. Usually there are a few of us at rehorsal and everyone has different kinds of horse for it. For horse rehearsal. Rehorsal
Reposted by Always logged in
I was hoping whatever was bursting out of the guy's chest in Alien would be something nice
November 8, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I was hoping whatever was bursting out of the guy's chest in Alien would be something nice
Mercury is leaking out of my nostrils and I am quickly losing the ability to tell what is and isn’t a threat. You must seal me inside this lighthouse forever. You mustn’t open the door, for I fear before long I will not be who you find inside any longer
November 10, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Mercury is leaking out of my nostrils and I am quickly losing the ability to tell what is and isn’t a threat. You must seal me inside this lighthouse forever. You mustn’t open the door, for I fear before long I will not be who you find inside any longer
Reposted by Always logged in
It was custom for dinosaurs to fossilize their dead
November 10, 2025 at 1:42 PM
It was custom for dinosaurs to fossilize their dead
Reposted by Always logged in
Reposted by Always logged in
inspiration
November 10, 2025 at 10:40 AM
inspiration
The spooky dookie strikes again
November 10, 2025 at 11:58 AM
The spooky dookie strikes again
Can’t help but notice that when Jesus said let he who is without blame cast the first stone he still didn’t throw one. He’s either a pussy or has some skeletons in the closet, which is fine probably
November 10, 2025 at 11:55 AM
Can’t help but notice that when Jesus said let he who is without blame cast the first stone he still didn’t throw one. He’s either a pussy or has some skeletons in the closet, which is fine probably
Reposted by Always logged in
football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it
November 9, 2025 at 7:55 PM
football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it
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Looking at your phone right when you wake up is bad. Everybody knows this. However what it also bad is not posting
November 10, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Looking at your phone right when you wake up is bad. Everybody knows this. However what it also bad is not posting
The “Feels Like” temp was 13°F when I woke up so I went to go turn on the heater for winter and bc I hadn’t started it before this year it set off the smoke alarm and scared the shit out of me while I was half asleep
November 10, 2025 at 11:50 AM
The “Feels Like” temp was 13°F when I woke up so I went to go turn on the heater for winter and bc I hadn’t started it before this year it set off the smoke alarm and scared the shit out of me while I was half asleep