swaim shaped like the can, not compote🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
@michaelswaim.bsky.social
Writer, podcaster, comedian - a real hoopy frood you should sass who knows where his towel's @.
CV: Small Beans | CRACKED | Some More News | IGN | 1900HOTDOG
patreon.com/c/smallbeans
CV: Small Beans | CRACKED | Some More News | IGN | 1900HOTDOG
patreon.com/c/smallbeans
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This is an ongoing thread of MEDIA, ADVICE, TRUISMS that are actually (usually) true, and AMAZING PROJECTS. Below this tweet are replies that split the thread into each of those four topics. Fully soliciting additions, arguments and jokes! Help me raise my son!
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just a fabulous email to get mid-depression thanks
clearly in the pocket of Big Death
clearly in the pocket of Big Death
September 11, 2025 at 12:23 AM
just a fabulous email to get mid-depression thanks
clearly in the pocket of Big Death
clearly in the pocket of Big Death
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Today was the procedure to finally close the big surgery hole on my butt that hasn't healed for a year. Told it's a fistula, I can expect 1 of 3 outcomes. Wake up, turns out the procedure turned into a fourth thing because I have a surprise butt problem no one expected. I KOBAYASHI MARU'D MY OWN ASS
September 11, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Today was the procedure to finally close the big surgery hole on my butt that hasn't healed for a year. Told it's a fistula, I can expect 1 of 3 outcomes. Wake up, turns out the procedure turned into a fourth thing because I have a surprise butt problem no one expected. I KOBAYASHI MARU'D MY OWN ASS
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Protip: if you have trouble staying on the board at first, consider wedging a big ol’ chunk of corpse under you for added stability.
September 10, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Protip: if you have trouble staying on the board at first, consider wedging a big ol’ chunk of corpse under you for added stability.
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Starship Titanic, a game from early 1998, let the player type literally anything in the text window beneath the game screen and the NPCs would do their best to respond to your prompts.
1998. Human writers. Human actors.
1998. Human writers. Human actors.
November 10, 2025 at 7:09 PM
Starship Titanic, a game from early 1998, let the player type literally anything in the text window beneath the game screen and the NPCs would do their best to respond to your prompts.
1998. Human writers. Human actors.
1998. Human writers. Human actors.
I used to think there would never be a worse John FetterMan than that crazy dude who went around chaining people to their toilets in the late 80's
I used to a lot of things
I used to a lot of things
November 10, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I used to think there would never be a worse John FetterMan than that crazy dude who went around chaining people to their toilets in the late 80's
I used to a lot of things
I used to a lot of things
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Kirby's mettle cannot be overstated, especially when you consider M.E. is Mike Ehrmantraut.
The greatest exchange in comics interview history still belongs to Jack Kirby
September 10, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Kirby's mettle cannot be overstated, especially when you consider M.E. is Mike Ehrmantraut.
UPDATED: Doesn't the democratic voting base realize that by turning out in record numbers to elect Mamdani they're alienating themselves??
don't these Nepalese kids realize they're alienating centrist voters??
November 10, 2025 at 6:04 PM
UPDATED: Doesn't the democratic voting base realize that by turning out in record numbers to elect Mamdani they're alienating themselves??
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hell yeah the swanky art I commissioned of my pregnant wife is done!
by Britta J Naslund
by Britta J Naslund
September 9, 2025 at 5:31 PM
hell yeah the swanky art I commissioned of my pregnant wife is done!
by Britta J Naslund
by Britta J Naslund
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remember kids, ACAB includes a cab
November 8, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Battlestar watchalong pod is going normal!
November 10, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Battlestar watchalong pod is going normal!
it's a classic crap-ing
It’s a masterclass in political malpractice, watching Democrats get utterly played for fools, trading all their leverage for a worthless promise. What a stunning display of strategic incompetence from a party that apparently needs adult supervision.
Caving Dems were 'conned, rooked and pantsed' in shutdown deal: ex-GOP strategist
Former Republican Party strategist and current Donald Trump antagonist Risk Wilson took a very dim view of the shutdown deal cobbled together by seven Democratic members of the Senate with one independent.In a post on his Substack platform early Monday morning after Republicans were handed a 60-40 ...
www.rawstory.com
November 10, 2025 at 4:28 PM
it's a classic crap-ing
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BREAKING: The Supreme Court denied an attempt to challenge Obergefell v. Hodges, the case affirming marriage equality nationwide.
Our freedom to marry remains the law of the land.
Our freedom to marry remains the law of the land.
November 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM
BREAKING: The Supreme Court denied an attempt to challenge Obergefell v. Hodges, the case affirming marriage equality nationwide.
Our freedom to marry remains the law of the land.
Our freedom to marry remains the law of the land.
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New favorite article of all time just dropped. It's FREE and I WILL be taking questions so ask away.
@youknowlydia.bsky.social's longest ever article drops today. It's got romance, capes, fire dragons, duels for body parts, and a lot of welding. I mean, there's so much welding. There's foot welding! It's TikTok's Emperor of Welding, and it's FREE! 1900hotdog.com/2025/11/lear...
November 10, 2025 at 2:09 PM
New favorite article of all time just dropped. It's FREE and I WILL be taking questions so ask away.
PUNISHMENTS FOR KILLING SOMEONE WITH KINDNESS
Death by chocolate
Lethal affection
Beheaded by gleeotine
Hanging for a couple hours, with friends say
Get drawn and a quarter
Have to stand in front of the reloading squad
Have to sit in Alec's trick chair and get a lil' extra-cuted (ie a MAKEOVERRR!)
Death by chocolate
Lethal affection
Beheaded by gleeotine
Hanging for a couple hours, with friends say
Get drawn and a quarter
Have to stand in front of the reloading squad
Have to sit in Alec's trick chair and get a lil' extra-cuted (ie a MAKEOVERRR!)
November 10, 2025 at 4:41 AM
PUNISHMENTS FOR KILLING SOMEONE WITH KINDNESS
Death by chocolate
Lethal affection
Beheaded by gleeotine
Hanging for a couple hours, with friends say
Get drawn and a quarter
Have to stand in front of the reloading squad
Have to sit in Alec's trick chair and get a lil' extra-cuted (ie a MAKEOVERRR!)
Death by chocolate
Lethal affection
Beheaded by gleeotine
Hanging for a couple hours, with friends say
Get drawn and a quarter
Have to stand in front of the reloading squad
Have to sit in Alec's trick chair and get a lil' extra-cuted (ie a MAKEOVERRR!)
A little surprised my acting career never went further, considering I'm a total triple threat: I can cry on cue, pretend to get interrupted in the middle of a line believably, and discard those closest to me without remorse.
November 10, 2025 at 4:07 AM
A little surprised my acting career never went further, considering I'm a total triple threat: I can cry on cue, pretend to get interrupted in the middle of a line believably, and discard those closest to me without remorse.
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This connection isn’t articulated often enough.
November 9, 2025 at 3:22 PM
This connection isn’t articulated often enough.
remember kids, ACAB includes a cab
November 8, 2025 at 10:27 PM
tfw when you hit a dating profile with a slugline so heinous you give up on love and uninstall the app
"I don't know what that is, I just know the world has left me behind."
"I don't know what that is, I just know the world has left me behind."
November 8, 2025 at 9:18 PM
tfw when you hit a dating profile with a slugline so heinous you give up on love and uninstall the app
"I don't know what that is, I just know the world has left me behind."
"I don't know what that is, I just know the world has left me behind."
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Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
I fully believe in the corporate death penalty and believe we would be a better world if OpenAI lost its corporate charter and was forcibly dissolved.
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
ChatGPT encouraged college graduate to commit suicide, family claims in lawsuit against OpenAI | CNN
A 23-year-old man killed himself in Texas after ChatGPT ‘goaded’ him to commit suicide, his family says in a lawsuit.
www.cnn.com
November 7, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
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OVER A MILLION USERS
DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT
EVERY *WEEK*
what the fuck are we DOING here
DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT
EVERY *WEEK*
what the fuck are we DOING here
Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
I fully believe in the corporate death penalty and believe we would be a better world if OpenAI lost its corporate charter and was forcibly dissolved.
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
November 7, 2025 at 10:59 PM
OVER A MILLION USERS
DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT
EVERY *WEEK*
what the fuck are we DOING here
DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT
EVERY *WEEK*
what the fuck are we DOING here
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congrats to everyone for thinking this through before signing very big contracts to put it on every student’s device at the school or university you run
OVER A MILLION USERS
DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT
EVERY *WEEK*
what the fuck are we DOING here
DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT
EVERY *WEEK*
what the fuck are we DOING here
Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
November 7, 2025 at 11:24 PM
congrats to everyone for thinking this through before signing very big contracts to put it on every student’s device at the school or university you run
They all float down here
This conversation between ChatGPT and the young man it encouraged to commit suicide is just...my god
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
November 7, 2025 at 9:41 PM
They all float down here
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ICYMI: Microsoft’s charge “implies a more than $12 billion quarterly loss at OpenAI, said Firoz Valliji, an analyst at Bernstein.”
That “would mark one of the largest single-quarter losses for a tech company in history.”
@jessefelder.bsky.social $MSFT
www.wsj.com/livecoverage...
That “would mark one of the largest single-quarter losses for a tech company in history.”
@jessefelder.bsky.social $MSFT
www.wsj.com/livecoverage...
November 7, 2025 at 7:17 PM
ICYMI: Microsoft’s charge “implies a more than $12 billion quarterly loss at OpenAI, said Firoz Valliji, an analyst at Bernstein.”
That “would mark one of the largest single-quarter losses for a tech company in history.”
@jessefelder.bsky.social $MSFT
www.wsj.com/livecoverage...
That “would mark one of the largest single-quarter losses for a tech company in history.”
@jessefelder.bsky.social $MSFT
www.wsj.com/livecoverage...
Poor Yorick. I didn't know him personally but it still hits hard, him being such a famous skull and all.
November 7, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Poor Yorick. I didn't know him personally but it still hits hard, him being such a famous skull and all.
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"That's a cut! Okay Brent, you know, I think we got it. We got the shot you sketched for me on your breakfast napkin, anyway.....
....
...the fuck is this for again?"
....
...the fuck is this for again?"
September 7, 2025 at 11:47 PM
"That's a cut! Okay Brent, you know, I think we got it. We got the shot you sketched for me on your breakfast napkin, anyway.....
....
...the fuck is this for again?"
....
...the fuck is this for again?"