Guy Pistofsky
@mettleundertension.bsky.social
Blue dot in a red dumpster.
I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle
I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle
Reposted by Guy Pistofsky
You don't just get to be cremated...
You have to urn it ⚱️
You have to urn it ⚱️
October 29, 2025 at 9:07 PM
You don't just get to be cremated...
You have to urn it ⚱️
You have to urn it ⚱️
The frequency of my colleagues saying “Bram Stroker” is starting to undo me
November 9, 2025 at 1:13 AM
The frequency of my colleagues saying “Bram Stroker” is starting to undo me
V for Vendetta is coming back to theaters and it couldn’t be a better time
November 9, 2025 at 12:28 AM
V for Vendetta is coming back to theaters and it couldn’t be a better time
Idk Reptile Dysfunction sounds pretty serious
November 9, 2025 at 12:26 AM
Idk Reptile Dysfunction sounds pretty serious
My taste in film is pretty dumb. Yesterday I enjoyed Frankenstein.
Today, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Today, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
November 9, 2025 at 12:18 AM
My taste in film is pretty dumb. Yesterday I enjoyed Frankenstein.
Today, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
Today, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
“You shouldn’t see this ad again from Google” is the biggest goddamn lie in human history
November 8, 2025 at 3:33 AM
“You shouldn’t see this ad again from Google” is the biggest goddamn lie in human history
The sun is rising, early birds are chirping and there’s a distant rooster screaming in every possible direction.
I should scream back
I should scream back
November 7, 2025 at 12:04 PM
The sun is rising, early birds are chirping and there’s a distant rooster screaming in every possible direction.
I should scream back
I should scream back
You don’t mess with the Zohran
November 7, 2025 at 12:24 AM
You don’t mess with the Zohran
Reposted by Guy Pistofsky
Maybe Zohran Mamdani is giving me a tiny glimmer of hope about life, the world, and everything?
November 4, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Maybe Zohran Mamdani is giving me a tiny glimmer of hope about life, the world, and everything?
Reposted by Guy Pistofsky
leaked photo of @ptklein.com's decision-making process
October 29, 2025 at 12:57 AM
leaked photo of @ptklein.com's decision-making process
Revive me when the Epstein Memorial Ballroom is finished
October 27, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Revive me when the Epstein Memorial Ballroom is finished
The knuckle on your thumb is the “Thuckle”.
October 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
The knuckle on your thumb is the “Thuckle”.
My body is a temple that requires hot dogs
October 26, 2025 at 11:03 AM
My body is a temple that requires hot dogs
Is prescription underwear a thing?
I bet Trump knows
I bet Trump knows
October 26, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Is prescription underwear a thing?
I bet Trump knows
I bet Trump knows
I have no ass and I must scream
October 25, 2025 at 6:34 PM
I have no ass and I must scream
Reposted by Guy Pistofsky
I'll save you some time this morning - I just checked the news and it’s all bad.
October 25, 2025 at 11:37 AM
I'll save you some time this morning - I just checked the news and it’s all bad.
Is good news allowed here?
Because today I got a job that could fix me
Because today I got a job that could fix me
October 24, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Is good news allowed here?
Because today I got a job that could fix me
Because today I got a job that could fix me
Reposted by Guy Pistofsky
God: I’m gonna give them eyelashes to keep stuff from getting in their eyes
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
October 23, 2025 at 12:23 PM
God: I’m gonna give them eyelashes to keep stuff from getting in their eyes
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
Angel: great idea, where do the eyelashes go when they fall out?
God: ok you’re gonna laugh
We are normalizing the word normalizing
October 20, 2025 at 10:57 AM
We are normalizing the word normalizing
Drink coffee that stains stainless steel
October 19, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Drink coffee that stains stainless steel
If dogs had pockets we’d have a ball shortage
October 19, 2025 at 5:55 PM
If dogs had pockets we’d have a ball shortage
Perhaps we judged Tron Legacy too harshly.
October 17, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Perhaps we judged Tron Legacy too harshly.
I’m sitting outside listening to crickets while this chicken eats any mosquito that lands on me.
October 15, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I’m sitting outside listening to crickets while this chicken eats any mosquito that lands on me.
Reposted by Guy Pistofsky
They should make a back that doesn't hurt
October 12, 2025 at 8:22 PM
They should make a back that doesn't hurt
Whenever a stranger asks if I know Jesus I have an instant flashback to that time I rolled a joint with Bible paper.
October 11, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Whenever a stranger asks if I know Jesus I have an instant flashback to that time I rolled a joint with Bible paper.