Marzipandancer
@marzipandancer.bsky.social
Marizpan+Panda+Dancer
Reply Guy
DM’s open to all bots and scams.
Reply Guy
DM’s open to all bots and scams.
In these unprecedented times, I think it’s warranted to call for F1 and Baseball to start early in order to provide a shred of uplifting news to humanity.
January 15, 2026 at 3:52 PM
In these unprecedented times, I think it’s warranted to call for F1 and Baseball to start early in order to provide a shred of uplifting news to humanity.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
I can’t stop saying this enough. We are no longer protesting. We are resisting an out of control federal government, and our local government is not helping.
January 15, 2026 at 4:33 AM
I can’t stop saying this enough. We are no longer protesting. We are resisting an out of control federal government, and our local government is not helping.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Temporary power, permanent consequences 💥
January 14, 2026 at 3:09 AM
Temporary power, permanent consequences 💥
Reposted by Marzipandancer
the same people worried that birth rates are too low will tell you that birth rates are too high in india, or in china, or in africa, or in america amongst latinos. it's because they're nazis. they have a plan to kill everyone you know
January 14, 2026 at 12:23 AM
the same people worried that birth rates are too low will tell you that birth rates are too high in india, or in china, or in africa, or in america amongst latinos. it's because they're nazis. they have a plan to kill everyone you know
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Wow.
🚨U.S. veteran GOES ABSOLUTELY NUCLEAR ON ICE:
"I've bled for this country, I've fought for this country—they're disgracing this f*cking country and what it f*cking means! They hide behind their f*cking masks like f*cking pussies! Get them out of here!" WE'RE LIVE NOW ⬇️
"I've bled for this country, I've fought for this country—they're disgracing this f*cking country and what it f*cking means! They hide behind their f*cking masks like f*cking pussies! Get them out of here!" WE'RE LIVE NOW ⬇️
January 14, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Wow.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
this is not a joke, if you get caught littering in new mexico they will kill u
January 13, 2026 at 9:12 PM
this is not a joke, if you get caught littering in new mexico they will kill u
You know people are saying a lot about Scott Adams and making a lot of critiques but… hear me out: we’re talking about him.
January 13, 2026 at 5:58 PM
You know people are saying a lot about Scott Adams and making a lot of critiques but… hear me out: we’re talking about him.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
just a reminder you don't have to wait for you leaders to say Abolish ICE.
you can be the one who says "ABOLISH ICE" at your city council meeting, to your grocery cashier, to the parents at school pickup.
they are stealing your money to pay thugs to shoot mothers in the streets
you can be the one who says "ABOLISH ICE" at your city council meeting, to your grocery cashier, to the parents at school pickup.
they are stealing your money to pay thugs to shoot mothers in the streets
January 13, 2026 at 3:30 PM
just a reminder you don't have to wait for you leaders to say Abolish ICE.
you can be the one who says "ABOLISH ICE" at your city council meeting, to your grocery cashier, to the parents at school pickup.
they are stealing your money to pay thugs to shoot mothers in the streets
you can be the one who says "ABOLISH ICE" at your city council meeting, to your grocery cashier, to the parents at school pickup.
they are stealing your money to pay thugs to shoot mothers in the streets
I accidentally used reverse psychology to get myself to do my job.
I told everyone (including myself) I was just going to fuck off and not get anything done today.
Now I’m getting shit done.
I told everyone (including myself) I was just going to fuck off and not get anything done today.
Now I’m getting shit done.
January 12, 2026 at 6:09 PM
I accidentally used reverse psychology to get myself to do my job.
I told everyone (including myself) I was just going to fuck off and not get anything done today.
Now I’m getting shit done.
I told everyone (including myself) I was just going to fuck off and not get anything done today.
Now I’m getting shit done.
Having fun isn’t hard, if you’ve got a library card.
January 12, 2026 at 3:09 AM
Having fun isn’t hard, if you’ve got a library card.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
what is love?
my baby's got herpes
got herpes
a sore
my baby's got herpes
got herpes
a sore
January 11, 2026 at 4:42 AM
what is love?
my baby's got herpes
got herpes
a sore
my baby's got herpes
got herpes
a sore
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Cartoon by Mike Luckovich
January 11, 2026 at 1:01 AM
Cartoon by Mike Luckovich
Good guys don’t wear masks.
Bandits wear masks.
Bandits wear masks.
January 9, 2026 at 11:48 PM
Good guys don’t wear masks.
Bandits wear masks.
Bandits wear masks.
Would love to have an answer to this question.
Question for legal minds...if ICE agents refuse to provide identification, doesn't that make it legal for citizens to act out in defense? We dont know who they really are. They refuse to provide identification. Fighting back seems beyond legal to me.
January 9, 2026 at 5:33 AM
Would love to have an answer to this question.
@bencollins.bsky.social you guys have been on a fucking tear lately. This is excellent work.
theonion.com/rfk-jr-recom...
theonion.com/rfk-jr-recom...
RFK Jr. Recommends Drinking Anything That Comes Out Of Cow
WASHINGTON—Claiming that most people only get a fraction of the benefits the “nutritional gold mine” has to offer, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued new dietary guidelines this week encour...
theonion.com
January 9, 2026 at 5:01 AM
@bencollins.bsky.social you guys have been on a fucking tear lately. This is excellent work.
theonion.com/rfk-jr-recom...
theonion.com/rfk-jr-recom...
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Some people are only interested in ICE now that a white woman has been killed. If those people got angry when black and brown people were being snatched off the street we may not be here now.
January 8, 2026 at 12:04 PM
Some people are only interested in ICE now that a white woman has been killed. If those people got angry when black and brown people were being snatched off the street we may not be here now.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
“She behaved horribly,” Trump told the Times. “And then she ran him over. She didn’t try to run him over. She ran him over.”
Notably, the reporters in the room said that the video they president played did not appear to show Good running over the ICE agent.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/live...
Notably, the reporters in the room said that the video they president played did not appear to show Good running over the ICE agent.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/live...
Trump doubles down on defending federal agent who killed Minneapolis woman as more ICE protests planned across US – live
Donald Trump repeated his claims that the ICE agent who fatally shot Renee Nicole Macklin Good acted in self-defense; DHS secretary Kristi Noem expected to speak in New York
www.theguardian.com
January 8, 2026 at 3:26 PM
“She behaved horribly,” Trump told the Times. “And then she ran him over. She didn’t try to run him over. She ran him over.”
Notably, the reporters in the room said that the video they president played did not appear to show Good running over the ICE agent.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/live...
Notably, the reporters in the room said that the video they president played did not appear to show Good running over the ICE agent.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/live...
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Found this beautiful picture of my parents moving into our San Diego home in the 90s
January 5, 2026 at 6:30 PM
Found this beautiful picture of my parents moving into our San Diego home in the 90s
Reposted by Marzipandancer
January 5, 2026 at 7:59 AM
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Look, if you ever think you have trouble being romantic, I proposed to my ex during the end credits of Little Nicky.
January 5, 2026 at 3:39 PM
Look, if you ever think you have trouble being romantic, I proposed to my ex during the end credits of Little Nicky.
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Reposted by Marzipandancer
Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice https://theonion.com/letter-to-congress/
Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice
Share This Editorial
theonion.com
January 3, 2026 at 8:31 PM
Congress, Now More Than Ever, Our Nation Needs Your Cowardice https://theonion.com/letter-to-congress/