Luke
@lukehklipp.bsky.social
Somehow still social media-ing.
Views expressed here mine alone.
He | Him | His
Views expressed here mine alone.
He | Him | His
As a subscriber to the print edition of the Onion, lemme just say it has been absolutely worth it. I look forward to getting this moment of needed humor and wit every time it shows up in my mailbox. One of the rare bright spots in this otherwise difficult past year.
Do subscribe if you can!
Do subscribe if you can!
Hi everybody,
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships.
Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post.
This is, somehow, feasible.
So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.
Join The Onion
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
membership.theonion.com
November 28, 2025 at 4:57 PM
As a subscriber to the print edition of the Onion, lemme just say it has been absolutely worth it. I look forward to getting this moment of needed humor and wit every time it shows up in my mailbox. One of the rare bright spots in this otherwise difficult past year.
Do subscribe if you can!
Do subscribe if you can!
Reposted by Luke
It's wholesome and oddly depressing to me that Al Gore, 77, not owing anyone shit, is still criss-crossing the globe full-time warning people about climate change, raising money for climate projects, mentoring the next generation of environmentalists, and generally being obsessed with this issue.
November 28, 2025 at 3:18 PM
It's wholesome and oddly depressing to me that Al Gore, 77, not owing anyone shit, is still criss-crossing the globe full-time warning people about climate change, raising money for climate projects, mentoring the next generation of environmentalists, and generally being obsessed with this issue.
Reposted by Luke
Kristi Noem is guilty of crimes against humanity and needs to face justice.
📌 She made the final call to defy a court order to halt deportation flights, sending people into the hellscape of CECOT, a place the UN has compared to a torture chamber.
Prosecute her and everyone involved.
📌 She made the final call to defy a court order to halt deportation flights, sending people into the hellscape of CECOT, a place the UN has compared to a torture chamber.
Prosecute her and everyone involved.
November 26, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Kristi Noem is guilty of crimes against humanity and needs to face justice.
📌 She made the final call to defy a court order to halt deportation flights, sending people into the hellscape of CECOT, a place the UN has compared to a torture chamber.
Prosecute her and everyone involved.
📌 She made the final call to defy a court order to halt deportation flights, sending people into the hellscape of CECOT, a place the UN has compared to a torture chamber.
Prosecute her and everyone involved.
Reposted by Luke
Today, after months of requests, I toured the Broadview ICE Processing Facility. I want to share what I saw.
The facility has no food vendor, no medical care, and detainees have to use toilets in the middle of shared cells. These are in no way suitable conditions to be holding anyone — period.
The facility has no food vendor, no medical care, and detainees have to use toilets in the middle of shared cells. These are in no way suitable conditions to be holding anyone — period.
November 25, 2025 at 12:57 AM
Today, after months of requests, I toured the Broadview ICE Processing Facility. I want to share what I saw.
The facility has no food vendor, no medical care, and detainees have to use toilets in the middle of shared cells. These are in no way suitable conditions to be holding anyone — period.
The facility has no food vendor, no medical care, and detainees have to use toilets in the middle of shared cells. These are in no way suitable conditions to be holding anyone — period.
Reposted by Luke
BREAKING: Comey case dismissed without prejudice. Halligan invalidly appointed, judge rules. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
November 24, 2025 at 5:36 PM
BREAKING: Comey case dismissed without prejudice. Halligan invalidly appointed, judge rules. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Reposted by Luke
Rep. Chrissy Houlahan: "The last time we received a briefing on Venezuela with the full committee was never. That is something that should alarm everybody. Congress is supposed to be aware of what intelligence validates and justifies these attacks."
November 21, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Rep. Chrissy Houlahan: "The last time we received a briefing on Venezuela with the full committee was never. That is something that should alarm everybody. Congress is supposed to be aware of what intelligence validates and justifies these attacks."
Reposted by Luke
Now that MTG is feeling all soft, and free, and easy, it might be a good time to ask her why before even being sworn-in she was one of the 10 members of the House who met with Trump in December 2020 to discuss “Stop the Steal” plans, and the details of the convo….
www.axios.com/2022/07/12/h...
www.axios.com/2022/07/12/h...
November 22, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Now that MTG is feeling all soft, and free, and easy, it might be a good time to ask her why before even being sworn-in she was one of the 10 members of the House who met with Trump in December 2020 to discuss “Stop the Steal” plans, and the details of the convo….
www.axios.com/2022/07/12/h...
www.axios.com/2022/07/12/h...
Reposted by Luke
Jamal Khashoggi's widow, Hanan Elatr Khashoggi: "Try as much as you can to save democracy and freedom of the press and speech in America. Do not be a copy of a Middle East dictatorship. We look to you as a role model of Western civilization—please maintain it."
November 21, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Jamal Khashoggi's widow, Hanan Elatr Khashoggi: "Try as much as you can to save democracy and freedom of the press and speech in America. Do not be a copy of a Middle East dictatorship. We look to you as a role model of Western civilization—please maintain it."
Reposted by Luke
Kelly: "I never expected after serving 25 years in the Navy flying combat missions over Iraq and Kuwait, flying the Space Shuttle, that now I've got to worry about my personal safety and that of my wife, Gabby Giffords, who was already nearly assassinated, because of something the president said."
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 AM
Kelly: "I never expected after serving 25 years in the Navy flying combat missions over Iraq and Kuwait, flying the Space Shuttle, that now I've got to worry about my personal safety and that of my wife, Gabby Giffords, who was already nearly assassinated, because of something the president said."
Reposted by Luke
To everyone saying that people in our military already know not to follow unlawful orders, how do you explain almost 100 civilians murdered on fishing boats in the Caribbean so far?
November 20, 2025 at 5:42 PM
To everyone saying that people in our military already know not to follow unlawful orders, how do you explain almost 100 civilians murdered on fishing boats in the Caribbean so far?
Reposted by Luke
I want to take a moment to thank the entire Elias Law Group team who worked on the Texas redistricting case as well as our fearless clients. The thirteen Black and Latino voters we represented stood up to challenge Texas's unprecedented mid-decade redistricting. We all ow them a debt of gratitude.
November 18, 2025 at 8:11 PM
I want to take a moment to thank the entire Elias Law Group team who worked on the Texas redistricting case as well as our fearless clients. The thirteen Black and Latino voters we represented stood up to challenge Texas's unprecedented mid-decade redistricting. We all ow them a debt of gratitude.
Reposted by Luke
"300 agents stormed the building, rappelled from a helicopter, knocked down doors and hurled flash-bang grenades. Agents ziptied and detained many US citizens for hours..."
Prosecutors have not filed a *single* criminal charge against anyone arrested that night:
www.propublica.org/article/chic...
Prosecutors have not filed a *single* criminal charge against anyone arrested that night:
www.propublica.org/article/chic...
“I Lost Everything”: Venezuelans Were Rounded Up in a Dramatic Midnight Raid but Never Charged With a Crime
Authorities said Tren de Aragua “terrorists” had taken over the building. A ProPublica investigation found little evidence to back up the government’s claims. For the first time, the Venezuelans arres...
www.propublica.org
November 15, 2025 at 1:39 AM
"300 agents stormed the building, rappelled from a helicopter, knocked down doors and hurled flash-bang grenades. Agents ziptied and detained many US citizens for hours..."
Prosecutors have not filed a *single* criminal charge against anyone arrested that night:
www.propublica.org/article/chic...
Prosecutors have not filed a *single* criminal charge against anyone arrested that night:
www.propublica.org/article/chic...
Reposted by Luke
Odd that the DoJ is opening an investigation into the Epstein files since they said in July that there was no client list and nothing to release.
November 15, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Odd that the DoJ is opening an investigation into the Epstein files since they said in July that there was no client list and nothing to release.
This CNN headline is fucking bonkers. The President doesn’t get to just order investigations and prosecutions of whomever he wants. Normalizing this effectively means the law no longer matters. All that matters is what the President wants.
November 15, 2025 at 5:13 AM
This CNN headline is fucking bonkers. The President doesn’t get to just order investigations and prosecutions of whomever he wants. Normalizing this effectively means the law no longer matters. All that matters is what the President wants.
Reposted by Luke
This may be Trump's perfect social media post. A true work of art. He confirms:
✅He personally directs criminal investigations.
✅He is targeting opponents.
✅Epstein "records" exist and he knows the contents.
Bonus points for connecting it to investigation of his fondness for Putin.👀
✅He personally directs criminal investigations.
✅He is targeting opponents.
✅Epstein "records" exist and he knows the contents.
Bonus points for connecting it to investigation of his fondness for Putin.👀
November 14, 2025 at 4:25 PM
This may be Trump's perfect social media post. A true work of art. He confirms:
✅He personally directs criminal investigations.
✅He is targeting opponents.
✅Epstein "records" exist and he knows the contents.
Bonus points for connecting it to investigation of his fondness for Putin.👀
✅He personally directs criminal investigations.
✅He is targeting opponents.
✅Epstein "records" exist and he knows the contents.
Bonus points for connecting it to investigation of his fondness for Putin.👀
Reposted by Luke
MLS is to move to a summer-to-spring calendar, in line with major European leagues, from summer 2027 🚨
Seasons will begin in July, have a winter break longer than the month January and conclude in May. MLS said negotiations with the MLSPA over the transition are ongoing 📆
Seasons will begin in July, have a winter break longer than the month January and conclude in May. MLS said negotiations with the MLSPA over the transition are ongoing 📆
November 13, 2025 at 10:36 PM
MLS is to move to a summer-to-spring calendar, in line with major European leagues, from summer 2027 🚨
Seasons will begin in July, have a winter break longer than the month January and conclude in May. MLS said negotiations with the MLSPA over the transition are ongoing 📆
Seasons will begin in July, have a winter break longer than the month January and conclude in May. MLS said negotiations with the MLSPA over the transition are ongoing 📆
Is the New York Times okay? No seriously.
Katie Wilson, Seattle’s next mayor, emerged from the city’s left-wing activist class and brings with her little experience in governing.
Seattle Elects a Left-Wing Mayor With a Light Résumé but Mamdani Appeal
Katie Wilson, who narrowly defeated the incumbent, Bruce Harrell, emerged from the city’s left-wing activist class and brings with her little experience in governing.
nyti.ms
November 14, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Is the New York Times okay? No seriously.
Immigrants aren’t taking houses. Immigrants are *building* houses.
JD should just ask Stephen Miller, whose whole efforts center around grabbing people from outside hardware stores and housing construction projects.
JD should just ask Stephen Miller, whose whole efforts center around grabbing people from outside hardware stores and housing construction projects.
JD Vance: "A lot of young people are saying housing is way too expensive. Why is that? Because we flooded the country with 30 million illegal immigrants who were taking houses that ought by right go to American citizens."
November 14, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Immigrants aren’t taking houses. Immigrants are *building* houses.
JD should just ask Stephen Miller, whose whole efforts center around grabbing people from outside hardware stores and housing construction projects.
JD should just ask Stephen Miller, whose whole efforts center around grabbing people from outside hardware stores and housing construction projects.
Appropriate framing by the same paper of record that helped cover up Jeffrey Epstein’s crimes.
A teenager in Florida with a homeless parent wanted money for braces and ended up having sex for money with powerful men, setting off a chain of events that would have a dramatic impact on her life and help upend the political career of Representative Matt Gaetz. nyti.ms/49PSkL9
November 14, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Appropriate framing by the same paper of record that helped cover up Jeffrey Epstein’s crimes.
Same damn people who call every gay man a pedophile and every trans woman a sex predator.
Megyn Kelly: "I know somebody very close to this case…Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile…He was into the barely legal type, like he liked 15 year old girls…He wasn't into like 8 year olds…There's a difference between a 15 year old and a 5 year old."
November 13, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Same damn people who call every gay man a pedophile and every trans woman a sex predator.
Reposted by Luke
NEW: @propublica.org investigated the Chicago apartment raid where kids were zip-tied and citizens detained for hours. They find:
- NONE of the arrested were criminally charged
- NO evidence the building was "filled with TdA terrorists."
- ZERO legitimate reason for DHS to rappel from a Blackhawk.
- NONE of the arrested were criminally charged
- NO evidence the building was "filled with TdA terrorists."
- ZERO legitimate reason for DHS to rappel from a Blackhawk.
November 13, 2025 at 2:08 PM
NEW: @propublica.org investigated the Chicago apartment raid where kids were zip-tied and citizens detained for hours. They find:
- NONE of the arrested were criminally charged
- NO evidence the building was "filled with TdA terrorists."
- ZERO legitimate reason for DHS to rappel from a Blackhawk.
- NONE of the arrested were criminally charged
- NO evidence the building was "filled with TdA terrorists."
- ZERO legitimate reason for DHS to rappel from a Blackhawk.
Reposted by Luke
AZ-07's voice in Congress 💪
November 13, 2025 at 12:30 AM
AZ-07's voice in Congress 💪
So the NY Times was actively impeding this information getting out? Warning Jeffrey Epstein that another reporter was digging into the matter? WTAF. Seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL F.
Fall 2017: Then-NYT reporter literally warning Epstein that someone is "digging around again."
![From:
Thomas Jr., Landon
Sent:
9/27/2017 2:47:47 PM
To:
Subject:
Got another call from Connelly..
Importance:
High
Jeffrey Epstein [jeevacation@gmail.com]
He is digging around again -- not clear if its another book/or expanded paperback version. Was asking me all sorts of questions about why you hired Ken Starr. I told him I had no idea - I think he is doing some Trump-related digging too.
Anyway, for what its worth...
Landon Thomas, Jr.
Financial Reporter
New York Times
http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/people/t/landon_ir thomas/index.h
tml](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:36eqtmzysqf7wsslczw4uxcd/bafkreia6463yzmb2suqn5rbfslvtta667av3ryynaetbsl7x6tniezyawu@jpeg)
November 13, 2025 at 12:48 AM
So the NY Times was actively impeding this information getting out? Warning Jeffrey Epstein that another reporter was digging into the matter? WTAF. Seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL F.
This part. 👇
Literally the “paper of record” knew about the Jeffrey Epstein scandal a year before Trump ended up getting elected the first time. The same paper that made Hillary’s emails the story of the century for months leading up to that election.
Literally the “paper of record” knew about the Jeffrey Epstein scandal a year before Trump ended up getting elected the first time. The same paper that made Hillary’s emails the story of the century for months leading up to that election.
Not only was the Times obsessed with Hillary Clinton's emails while ignoring emails about Donald Trump sent to its own reporter, but since then it has constantly attacked anyone who dared look into questions of Trump's character. All with sanctimony.
Now we know it was all a big lie.
Now we know it was all a big lie.
November 13, 2025 at 12:44 AM
This part. 👇
Literally the “paper of record” knew about the Jeffrey Epstein scandal a year before Trump ended up getting elected the first time. The same paper that made Hillary’s emails the story of the century for months leading up to that election.
Literally the “paper of record” knew about the Jeffrey Epstein scandal a year before Trump ended up getting elected the first time. The same paper that made Hillary’s emails the story of the century for months leading up to that election.